Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights (Day 31)

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by Beefheart, Jun 3, 2012.

  1. Beefheart

    Beefheart New Member

    (New) Summary & Goals

    • I am 22, virgin. Very confident in some areas, ie public singing, but have little confidence with women and probably suffer a degree of social anxiety.
    • I aim to build my confidence and be comfortable in my own skin wherever I am. Finding a partner, losing virginity, etc, are secondary to this.
    • I suspect that I'm not addicted to porn so much as masturbation. I've had no problem quitting porn so far, but masturbation and fantasy are still a risk.
    • I am also solving a mildly tight foreskin by manual stretching. AFAIK I do not suffer ED.

    My story

    Hi all, Beefheart at your service. I'm new to your website and the concept of rebooting. Discovered YBOP 2 days ago and it was an epiphany. Guess that means I'm 2 days into rebooting!

    My story's nothing special, but it's the most candidly honest thing I have ever written, which was surprising.

    I'm just-turned 22 years old, virgin, confidence all over the place. Shared one kiss, very much at the girl's initiation. I'm dreadful with women even though I know intellectually that I'm pretty handsome and have 100s of remarkable assets (all worthless without self-belief). What confidence I have comes from my music - when I sing I'm a different person - but I can hardly talk to any spellbound women afterwards. When this has happened I just thank them sincerely and try to get out of the situation. Put simply: my self-belief, my enthusiasm, everything which ordinarily sets me apart, disappears completely when I meet unfamiliar women. Naturally there's no problems talking to platonic female friends or older married women. (My Art coursemates, mostly female, I immediately placed as friends due to my lack of interest/low libido. But now I wonder --- was it just because they are clothed?)

    Now 22 years old and graduating from a very insular university, I have only ever fancied 2 girls. In both cases I missed their initial subtle interest, fell for them after they'd given up and given myself tremendous grief, which I'd suppress with double-doses of PMO. And in spite of daily / twice-daily PMO I would always tell myself 'I have no interest in loveless sex' -- cognitive dissonance much?

    I NEVER imagined I was dependent on self-pleasuring. I assumed addicts would toss themselves off round the clock. How about twice, thrice a day -- normal for a single guy right? Plus, my taste in pornography had never been for violent, distasteful or even photoshopped things. I hated that kind instinctively, always felt mainstream porn to be destructively anti-female and anti-reality. 'Ethical'/'feminist' porn was practically my fetish from the start, give or take the odd foray into genres I didn't enjoy (behaviour that makes no sense). Basically I was smug about my healthy attitude to sex, all the while masturbating at 1am in flickering computer-light just the same.

    Realisation -- Day 2

    Two days ago, YBOP shattered those illusions. A chance click, but I instantly recognised that I've been using masturbation as a drug for 9+ years, without once checking the possible side-effects. Just one more possible cause for the WHO's reported surge in depression? Maybe.

    (I was vaguely aware of PM's shortcomings already, but it is Tumblr's endless porn blogs that caused me to truly waste my time. There you can scroll infinitely, a click away from images you had never contemplated and would never enjoy. But even then I never questioned the goodness of O - my trusted friend. How could we when our doctors say it's the cornerstone of wellbeing? I dismissed the Daoist attitude about semen-retention as their one mistake.)

    In spite of all your encouragement, I don't know what I expect to gain by rebooting. Could I really feel like a new man, or even a man at all? I'm thin and androgynous - I feel like a deep-voiced boy. At day 2, should I expect to feel any withdrawal? Does it always happen?

    8) A foreskin question 8)

    So, to business. Do any of you rebooters have experience of a tight foreskin? I see some of you have noticed some tightening during rebooting -- this concerns me.

    I have a mildly tight foreskin and frenulum - for which I had a frenuloplasty in December. It was easy and painless (apart from the painkiller's needle which has caused me to appreciate how painless my dick is the rest of the time), but unfortunately the op only did half the job. A repeat procedure would be ideal, but unlikely at this time. So I am stretching both foreskin and frenulum, with slow steady progress.

    I don't want to lose the little progress I've made. I want a working foreskin! But the stretching exercises are a huge temptation (one Jesus in the desert never had to face). How do you think I should proceed? Must I choose between a working foreskin and healthy masculinity?

    Thanks all of you for showing the way. I hope I find this as rewarding as some of you.

  2. monte_cristo

    monte_cristo Guest

    Re: Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights -- Plus a foreskin question

    Hi, welcome aboard. I met my first girlfriend when I was 22, so you just never know.
  3. greekurn

    greekurn New Member

    Re: Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights -- Plus a foreskin question

    Welcome to the forum, Beefheart!

    I think you've taken a big step, and that the answer to your question "could I really feel like a new man?" is a resounding yes. You've recognised that masturbation has been a drug for you, and once you're free of it and its side effects you should definitely notice a difference. I can really appreciate where you're coming from because I've often felt like a 15 year old trapped in a 24 year old's body, and been plagued with confidence issues. I'm only on Day 31, but I've already noticed small improvements in my natural confidence which help me to embrace social situations and particularly to talk to unfamiliar women. You probably won't feel like a new man in the strictest sense; you'll still be Beefheart. But you'll be happier about being Beefheart. You'll realise, on a level beyond the intellectual, that Beefheart is a pretty good person to be. More importantly, you'll retain more of that belief in situations where you'd normally forget it. That at least has been my experience so far.

    I can only speak for myself, but I've found that the improvements seem to snowball. Breaking the cycle of going home and masturbating for hours led me to be more open to doing new things. That in turn has led to me being, and feeling, more spontaneous. A knock-on effect of that has been that I've been more confident about talking to women I don't know, which in turn has led to admiration from my colleagues in my new job, which has helped me to feel more integrated into the team. So just from that I can say that a single month off porn has helped me to expand my horizons, improve my work life, feel better about myself and meet new and interesting people, some of whom were very attractive women. None of it was particularly dramatic, but those tiny improvements have added up to something appreciable. It's something like having every day being a slightly good day rather than an average day.

    I suppose everyone's different, but I felt no withdrawals on Day 2. It was probably Day 6 or 7 before anything really kicked in. YMMV.

    As for a tighter foreskin, I actually have noticed that recently. But it isn't anything to write home about so far. In terms of stretching exercises, I would say it would depend on how much of a temptation they are and what sort of exercises they are. If you could get away with doing them in a cold shower or something then great, but if not then my personal advice would be to put rebooting first. You'll have the rest of your life to work on your foreskin.

    Good luck!
  4. Beefheart

    Beefheart New Member

    Re: Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights -- Plus a foreskin question

    Thanks for the welcome chaps. :)

    I'm still unsure why I leapt into this journal. Some of you relate terrible experiences with PMO, past-relationships, ED, viewing women as sex objects, etc. My story is rather tame: I just want to grow up, love myself and stop wasting my time.

    Day 3

    Two nights into rebooting and I already noticed something: an actual dream. Looking back, I've had so few dreams since the time I was 13/14 - wonder why! Could it be just the overstimulation of the screen that does it?

    It was mildly steamy in nature, but PG certificate only - definitely not pornographic. All I vividly recall is getting scratched by my lover's toenail - leave it to the Freudians, I've no idea. Have these fantasies been a hindrance to anyone? I quite enjoyed it.

    But the consequence was nuclear morning wood. Previously I'd never waste a woody, so it refused to go away. I'm pretty certain it lasted 40 minutes, what gives? :eek: It was comfortable torture - I hope I've done myself some good by resisting such a Priapus.

    NB: I should add I have never felt desensitised like some others report (except in my unsexual attitude to women). Some of you note your emotions returning. For me, music and nature can easily overwhelm - this has been lifelong. I could definitely meditate more, but I'd say my mindfulness is pretty good. In fact, I've often felt I could be a monk --- but is that my true self talking? Now I'm not so sure.

    I'll treat this as a test of character. Aside from public singing and the occasional good deed, I've submerged my active/decisive nature beneath low-level anxiety. I feel good simply anticipating a change in that, but I know it's unwise to expect anything.

    Quite right! and thanks. Tbh I'm not sure I'm ready yet - why start a relationship when you're not a 100% productive being? I'm eager to love someone sure, but how many relationships turn to ash through insecurity? Even typing this helps me see my task a little clearer.

    I may lack your experience (good and bad), but I hope it goes well.

    Wow! Great to hear it's suiting you. Sounds like you'll be there in no time.

    Hmm. How much are we talking in 1 month? Did you ever have a tight foreskin in the past?

    My concern is if I successfully rebalance, would I ever want the masturbation risk? I'm new to this so I have no clue about post-reboot MOing. I assume it's something to cast off entirely.

    For stretching they advise a warm bath - just as well since our shower is broke! There are two exercises: the one for frenulums is too difficult to be very erotic: they advise you grip the frenulum and pull forwards, which is nigh impossible if your fren is tight anyway. 8)

    The second is for mild phimosis: insert both index-fingers and pull away from each other, pulling the foreskin forward as you do. Instaboner, but it's hardly a way to get off. I'll tentatively try it tomorrow. Thanks again.
  5. GizmoBurns

    GizmoBurns Guest

    Re: Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights -- Plus a foreskin question

    Hi Captain. I suffer from the same problem. I had one incident last year were I sung in a bar and got the attention of an exceptionally hot girl. After talking nervously for a while I arranged to meet her later in an other bar. Later as I was talking to her I seemed to crawl up inside myself. I kept noticing that everything I said was self sabotaging stuttering nonsense that then snowballed into complete stalling of the conversation. A friend said she looked almost pissed of and angry.

    I'm not putting it all down to porn, but without it I'm sure my self image and confidence would have been up to the job.

    Your doing the right thing by giving up. I notice every time I'm away from porn I sing and play a lot better.

    Good Luck sir and Godspeed a fap free future.

  6. Beefheart

    Beefheart New Member

    Re: Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights -- Plus a foreskin question

    Pleased to meet you Gizmo, and I can fully empathise with you. I've never got that far myself - it just sounds excruciating. But let's face it - she can't have been that great if mere nerves were enough to anger her. I hope you've recovered from that: if I encountered something so bizarre as anger I think I would finally speak up. Nobody should have to put up with that simply for being shy.

    This is all still so new to me that it blows my mind. Yet it makes sense! I certainly know this habit has sapped my musical energy, my creativity, all of it. Between the ages of 6-12 I became competent on two instruments - I couldn't read music but I could play almost anything on these instruments by ear. But since then it has taken me 8 years to sing and play guitar at the same time.

    I mean, what else can the culprit be?
  7. Beefheart

    Beefheart New Member

    Re: Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights -- Plus a foreskin question

    Day 4 observations

    I'll try to stay brief, but I'm observing much on my first time. I don't know how much of the following is placebo or coincidence, but they seem pretty stable.

    • Flaccid, my manhood seems 'free-er', and a little longer than before. Thought I was imagining it but it's been the same every time I've seen it. Can well imagine that I've exhausted it daily through PMO. Yet:
    • Morning wood is a lot weaker than yesterday, in fact erections have seemed smaller and less sensitive. Does that happen? I'm not at all bothered by any change in size, just curious.
    • No fantasy/dreaming last night. No desire for porn yet. No filters installed.

    Question: I have downloaded a small amount of P in my time. Obviously I must remove it, but am wary of triggering any urges which I currently do not feel. Is it best to do this ASAP or wait until I've built up more resistance?


    • I won't be too presumptuous, but I feel sort of good. :) More stable, patient. This is without meditation.
    • Found myself dancing to music as I was cooking, rather than just singing along. For me this = being more physical.

    I doubt these are genuine changes after only 4 days - perhaps I just feel good about what I'm doing. :D

    Stretching notes!

    I hope this will help someone down the line. I can't be the only one with some foreskin tightness. Don't think I'll call it a stretching journal just yet --- I'm not gonna let stretching compromise one thing.

    • Stretched in the bath this morning. Was tempted at first, but I held the position until things went flaccid. Basic perseverance overcame the arousal.
    • Stretching right now is just to keep things supple. I don't think I'll solve the tightness at the same time as rebooting. The only way to tell if you've solved phimosis is to pull it back when hard, which'd be a pretty stupid thing to do.

    That's it! Thanks for reading.

    (I realise I should set myself some goals, but none are forthcoming yet. Will think. :) )
  8. Beefheart

    Beefheart New Member

    Re: Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights -- Plus a foreskin question

    I have realised I am presently powerless to help most of the guys here. I cannot really help with things i've never experienced -- that includes sex and dating, let alone ED or prostitutes. I want to help. I always help others in everything else I do -nothing better for boosting self-worth- but I'm useless in this case.
    I am counting on that changing as I make progress. I hope I'll eventually be of use to someone here. Until then:

    Day 5

    Okay, I was warned of this. Stable yesterday, emotions are everywhere today: dawn-to-dusk rollercoaster.

    • Woke up, wood, temptation resisted but waking is definitely my weakest hour. Somehow I began to recall a brief but torrid LDR I hadn't thought about in years. (A Swedish girl met on a music site, we had intended nothing but had an uncanny amount in common and quickly fell naively in love. We split after one month due to us both being anxious individuals, but I was crushed at the time, rued ever meeting her etc.)

      But there I was this morning, lying there with morning wood, feeling like Siddartha. I wanted to cry tears of forgiveness and reconnect with her, apologise for my part and do whatever I could to boost her confidence (which in spite of her obvious beauty she always lacked). I fully wanted to email her right then, but had to get up and make errands. By the time I could email her, my will was gone and I couldn't force it. I do hope she is well, but that elating moment of selflessness has subsided into shyness.

    • I reckon 90% of the spontaneous kindness I feel is checked by shyness/social anxiety. It's never been clearer that I lack balls. People tell me my jewels must be massive to sing in public/give talks at uni, but that's a different game of balls to taking control of one's own life, saying what one feels at any given moment. I know which I'd rather be capable of.

    • In town today, caught a girl's glance. That's nothing new, but I find myself smiling more - that's so welcome right now.
    • No horniness, no urges.
    • Trying to suppress flashbacks of an excruciating rejection from one girl whom friends had noticed was flirting with me for months (I could elaborate, but that's really the gist of it. I think she has her own problems to work out). Usually I let memories come and go, but I feel very emotionally vulnerable right now. I definitely attribute this to rebooting.

    No regret.
  9. xman

    xman New Member

    Re: Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights -- Plus a foreskin question

    Congrats on making the decision to reboot. Glad to read about your progress.

    Don't worry if your issues don't seem as 'extreme' as others here... this is a forum for people looking to 'rebalance' 'reboot or 'rewire' their brain. The more people embarking on this journey and sharing it the better IMO.
  10. Beefheart

    Beefheart New Member

    Re: Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights -- Plus a foreskin question

    Day 6. I don't see the point in updating.

    I live with my mother and she's unexpectedly very ill again with heavy periods, practically haemorrhaging every 20 mins. Where's the support for her? The Gynaecologists don't have a fucking clue. No surprise that they're as useless as the Urologists.

    You can tell my mood is pretty low. I felt great during the day, beaming the whole time. But I was already thinking about cancelling my plans for this week before my mum's problem began.

    I've no interest in porn, but I find it hard to care about this project whilst she's ill. I won't give up, but I still doubt this will solve my failings with women.

    Here's a question:

    This morning I had a lot of precum from the usual MW. About an hour later, unzipping for a pee, I found some semen leaking from my tip. Is that quite healthy? Is it possible I ejaculated without orgasm or touch from this morning's arousal?
  11. monte_cristo

    monte_cristo Guest

    Re: Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights -- Plus a foreskin question

    Don't worry about it, semen leakage when you have an erection is something that happens. As long you're staying away from fake stimulation (P and M) you're on the right path.

    Sorry to hear about your mother. Wish there was something more I could say to help.
  12. Forgive Me

    Forgive Me tmrw belongs to people who prepare for it today!

    Re: Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights -- Plus a foreskin question

    Sorry to hear about your mother beefheart and if wish her well.

    Semen leakage is common. I experienced for 4-5 months when I started reducing my PMO and tried to reboot. It scared the crap out of me at first. Give it time and it will eventually stop. My theory is that due to excessive ejaculation your body is conditioned to produce excess semen. Now you have stopped PMO your body has no release for this excess semen, hence leakage. Once your body becomes accustomed to reduced levels of ejaculation your leakage should stop. But until this time expect continued leakage and occurrence of wet dreams.

    Also I have read so many people say that they have started experiencing dreams since they cut back on PMO. i too have experienced this and find it quite incredible that PMO is so deep rooted in our psyche and how it has effected so many aspects of our lives.

    Good luck bro.
  13. Beefheart

    Beefheart New Member

    Re: Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights (Day 19)

    Thanks to both of you. My mother's on the mend, though she presently suffers severe dizziness as an aftereffect.

    Day 19

    Only 19 days, but I definitely feel better about myself. I hope things continue to improve, since I've felt pretty much the same for a week. It's a kind of subtle emotional insulation I previously lacked.

    - No urge to view P, occasional tremendous urges to M, but these are best solved by getting dressed and zipping up.

    - No repeat of that first leakage, no sexual dreams at all. Still no wet dreams (but do you always remember and awake from it? I have no clue).

    - Feel vastly more confident in general, but it's touch and go. Today I found it hard to smile spontaneously, for instance, whilst other days it's instinctual.

    - Dunno how much of this new confidence derives from no PMO - I reckon a lot of it is just because I'm singing again. But I find it easier to meet gazes and speak to strangers.

    - I've thrown myself into performing and straightaway won the attention of an impossibly good-looking girl. I'm still a little shy around her (she is 27, much more worldly), but she and her friend visited my art show and she flirts with me subtly whenever we meet. I don't expect anything from her -- she's encouraging but not that encouraging when she has the eyes of the whole room on her (really! it's amazing to behold). The attention she gets from men has probably conditioned her to treat this kind of thing lightly, and I'm not head-over-heels enough to pursue her yet.

    That's all! Things are slowly getting better. I now have two weeks without my local singer's session and no real reason for contacting this girl, so I'll have to be super vigilant or it's back to moping around the house. My social life revolves 90% around the folk circuit -- there's not many women of my age there, so I clearly need to find some other things that skint people can do. Not yoga, that's much too daunting.

    One more thing:
    This new confidence lead me to duet/harmonise with my musical idol on Saturday. Admittedly it was just after a pretty intimate show, but I'm sure I would never have been able to approach him before. (This man is unreservedly the songwriting equal of Lennon/McCartney and he was admired by them both, not to mention Bob Dylan, back in the day. Intellectually he outpaced all of them and he is as curious as ever, now 70.)

  14. fullset

    fullset Member

    Re: Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights (Day 19)

    Good job getting to almost 3 weeks. I sometimes don't remember my wet dreams but the evidence is always there lol.
  15. Beefheart

    Beefheart New Member

    Re: Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights (Day 22)

    Thanks fullset. It's going well but I can hardly believe the positive experience you report in your journal. Good going!

    Day 22

    Day 22's over. I had no desire to go out today. There was a local session and the girl I recently met would've been there, but I just had no desire - in fact I was put off by the idea of the crowded pub. Can't say I enjoy this social flatlining much.

    Should mention that the foreskin stretching is going very well. I no longer consider it a risky practice and I'm already seeing results just from 15-20 minutes daily.
  16. Beefheart

    Beefheart New Member

    Re: Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights + new summary, goals (Day 23)

    Day 24

    I've been indoors for 3 days (!) either building my art website or (mostly) wasting time online.

    - Gotta limit computer use. Think I'll impose a midnight curfew at the least. Right now it's 2.20 am, I don't even know why I'm up.

    - How does one fight the desire not to go out? I passed up an opportunity to go out (and sing) on Friday for no good reason. Not the best feeling during rebooting.

    In spite of this social flatlining, I'm physically very horny. Mentally not nearly as much.

    - Do you think multiple prolonged erections are harmful in a similar way to edging? I ask because the two are kinda similar - the body is preparing itself for ejaculation either way. I don't know what nutrients are stored in precum but I bet I'm losing a lot of it.
  17. fullset

    fullset Member

    Re: Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights (Day 22)


    If you read my entire journal, it took a while to have the positive experience. I tend to, by nature, focus mostly on positives. I did have a hard time in the beginning. But it was mostly due to not being able to fill my time that I PMO'ed. Once I got regular with exercise, my life did take a turn for the better.

    Good job getting to a little over 3 weeks. If I remember correctly, I started flatlining on day 27 or 28. I went through several different version of flatlines. I felt the same when I would feel the libido mentally and not physically and vice versa. I also felt the social anxiety every now and again. Like I would avoid family gatherings for no apparent reason. One thing I discovered is doing things that you don't want to do end up being rewarding. You get this newfound ability of "making the best of everything". You should also eventually see positive differences in other areas of life also.

    Good luck with your reboot!
  18. Champion

    Champion Back To Settle Unfinished Business

    Re: Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights + new summary, goals (Day 25)

    Hi Beefheart,

    I think you're doing great. Also it's very interesting that you keep a sort of stretching journal next to the rebooting journal.

    As you know from the thread on phimosis, I'm familiar with the problem. I can assure you, you will be alright. Obviously rebooting and stretching at the same time offers some unusual extra challenges but I'm sure you'll be able to face and overcome those. I'm not sure whether you should do them both at once or not. I think it's similar to the issue of rebooting with or without filter. Without filter you obviously leave yourself exposed, but you also train your self control. Just my 2 cents.

    About not wanting to go out, that's probably familiar to everyone. It's hard to say whether you should push yourself to go anyway or not. Sometimes when you do go after all it's very rewarding and enjoyable and so you grow, you change, you become more social. You learn that you like being around people and interact with them. Other times you go and it absolutely sucks. You're anxious, people don't seem to respond to you, you don´t seem to respond to them, you feel weird and uncomfortable. This can become a negative re-enforcer.

    Whether it's rewarding or whether it sucks, is not a matter of coincidence I think. When it's rewarding I think our brain actually are ready and eager for social stimulation, but sometimes we're just scared to go out of our comfort zone. Those are two different things. When it's sucks though our brain just isn't up to social stimulation, at that moment. And that's okay too, we don't have to be social and pleasant all the time.

    I've come to see this a hidden opportunity; When I'm out, and I'm not enjoying yourself, I can chose to listen to my needs and do what's good for me without apology. I excuse myself and simply leave. I don't worry about "being social". Because I've noticed that once my brain is in the right place, being social feels good and I actually enjoy interaction with people. It's natural.
  19. Beefheart

    Beefheart New Member

    Re: Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights + new summary, goals (Day 25)

    Great advice, thanks to you both.

    Day 25 - evening

    I did actually go to a music session today and felt extremely calm and confident, just really good. But I knew some of them already, so it was unlikely I'd be shy and reticent.

    Brought the place down with a barn-storming country song I had never played before. Never even played country before! It was a complete first-attempt and was rather shambolic, but I carried it through with humour and it worked. Had I been more anxious I'm sure it would've fallen flat.

    I have been practicing diaphragm breathing, which I think helps.

    - There were two absolutely gorgeous girls there, both fiddlers (how I love folk music). It proceeded like this: Sarah was single, Katie was not. Katie kept looking my way, Sarah most certainly did not. Ah well, so it goes. 8)

    This morning

    I hardly think the following will be a trigger because it's just so amusing.

    - The day started pretty shakily. Never thought I'd be triggered by my own neighbour, who's a lovely quiet woman in her late 50s. I'll explain:

    I live in a typical terraced house where the walls are like paper. My neighbour has a fortnightly orgasm between 9-10am - it's hilariously punctual. Every two weeks if I'm still in bed, I hear her in ecstasy-- she's pretty OTT.

    Usually it's just amusing, but this time I had severe morning wood and wasn't thinking with the right head. I leapt out of bed and deliberately listened through the wall. Masturbated for a good 6 seconds before snapping out of it, but stayed hard for a good 30 mins longer. I'd love to say I was embarrassed by my actions, but I wasn't. I've been really horny all day. Could do with your day-27 flatline, Fullset.

    I've been in good humour the rest of the day. If I had met some eligible women tonight I'd have been on pretty good form - provided they talked to me first.

    Hi Champion, I actually have been doing both, but recently the stretching has slipped to <10 mins a day - I should really do more.

    I have personally found stretching helps me to avoid masturbation. You know when you're super-aroused and stroke yourself without thinking? Well, you can't masturbate when most of your fingers are inside your foreskin, it's like a Chinese finger trap with only one end.

    Yes, agree totally on self-control. I have done nothing to prevent access to porn - haven't even cleared my pre-reboot internet history. I'm not sure how I reached this level of self-discipline, but I'm enjoying testing it out for the first time.
  20. Fah

    Fah New Member

    Re: Quitting Tropical Hot Dog Nights + new summary, goals (Day 26)

    Hello Captain Beefheart, I've been reading your blog and I'd like to ask you a question. I know that you're into music and I myself ever since my addiction to pornography official hooked me into a downward spiral, have found it difficult to enjoy music properly. Have you ever felt this way?

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