Hey Fellas, I'm at 120 days and strugglin' big-time. I know I haven't done all I could to recover (nutrition, exercise, analysis, etc). Before I began rebooting I was on a reasonably good roll with that stuff but the last couple months I've been (up and down but) mostly so depressed I'm hard pressed just to look after myself minimally, day to day. I almost can't imagine getting back to a space where I have the energy to exercise, for example. Though I've made a date with a friend for the pool next week. Hopefully having made that commitment to someone else will get me there and if I can get me heart and lungs goin' that's got to help with energy levels and mood. So, anyhow. It is said that our symptoms can often worsen before they improve. I need to know, did any of you have the experience (like me) where you became so fucked up that all you could manage was abstinence (no energy for active recovery) and did you still notice an improvement eventually? In your experience how long did that take? Or did you have to somehow find the energy to get back to an active recovery program before your mood improved? I know, everyone is different but... I feel so lost and alone (despite the support I have here). I'm committed to staying off the PMO. I'm on a hard Reboot with no M, no O, no Fantasy, no Subs (but unfortunately no opportunity for reboot sex, either. Not cuddles, even.). I'm just... frightened. I have been having stronger suicidal thoughts than I have in a long time. I feel so hopeless. I guess, I just need to feel like there's some light at the end of this long dark tunnel even if I can't find the energy to put towards active recovery... that this might pass. Thank you.