prakash's daily journal

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by prakash, Aug 25, 2020.

?

why are you here?

  1. stop watching porn completely

    3 vote(s)
    75.0%
  2. connect normally with women and have sex rather than watch porn

    2 vote(s)
    50.0%
  3. believe porn is self medicated junk food that makes you feel good for small time

    1 vote(s)
    25.0%
  4. get control on porn use like once in a month is ok

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. prakash

    prakash New Member

    hi world,

    I am 34 male. I have been watching porn since 2005.. have tried fight the new drug website once have got 2 days or 3 maximum... i am trying to become a guy who dont look at porn..came here from https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/how-to-quit-porn/ so here to get some support from you guys..i am living alone ...looking for a job.. i have anxiety and panic attack issues.. took medication now managing without medication....on doctor recommendation.. i am not going cold turkey with porn... i have deleted disgusting stuff and things i wasn't interested before porn...i still have quiet a bit of porn saved... my hardest thing is not looking at new content.

    so this thread is going to be my daily post about my porn use.
     
  2. prakash

    prakash New Member

    my thoughts on porn

    porn is a sexual junk food that make you feel good for small time.

    porn is hard to give up because it have novelty.. new women,new fantasy..easily available..

    I use porn as self medication..when i am bored..when i feel anxious,sad,angry,dejected,failed at something. Browsing through lot of sites.. finding content.. downloading...its take lot of hours..i loose track of time..

    I actually don't watch porn movies for long time...but searching for and find content takes a lot of time and excitement..i mostly watch Japanese porn..i download trailer for a movie and wait for the release of the movie..its exciting...the movie release is something to look forward for..

    Now i am trying to quit i have lot of time at my hand dont know what to do....i mean i know i can read,draw,paint,exercise,play keyboard etc.. but they are not as exicing as watching porn...
     
  3. Aussie_lad_23

    Aussie_lad_23 Taking it one day at a time...

    Hi Prakash,

    Welcome to the forum.

    It's good you can understand the negative effects of porn.

    When you are feeling anxious, sad, angry, rejected or feel you have failed something.... porn always seems like a good idea because you think it will make you feel really good.

    After you use porn to feel good, the good feelings do not last for a long time.

    You will start to feel bad, and want to use porn again to feel good.

    The porn will make you feel these negative things again.....and again.... and again because you are trapped.

    Lots of us are trapped in this cycle and want to break free - just like you!
     
  4. prakash

    prakash New Member


    thanks for reply and encouragement..keep fighting man
     
  5. prakash

    prakash New Member

    yesterday watched porn two times.. 1st time had a fight was angry...second time at night.. but both times didn't download new material... but saved material.. i am try slow roasted turkey (;0) method... my first thing is to stop download new/old material.. meaning only use what i have saved up... try to get more streak days... in mean time keep deleting files little by little...then there may be a time i don't have porn with me and don't watch porn.
     
  6. Aussie_lad_23

    Aussie_lad_23 Taking it one day at a time...

    Have you thought about setting some short term and long term goals for yourself?

    It is alot less harder when you have goals in mind!
     
  7. prakash

    prakash New Member

    OK so for the past three days have downloaded..old and other stuff that promised not to download... and watched 3 times everyday...thanks Aussie_lad_23.. i do need short term and long time goals... i know my long term goal is to stop watching porn and connect with women and have sex...

    middle term goal don]t download any new stuff...

    let me think of short term goal.. i have got only max of 2 day strike let me try and get 3 days starting today.. that means Saturday,Sunday,Monday..

    go luck to myself

    3 days to go
     
  8. prakash

    prakash New Member

    one day over only 2 days to go.

    Sunday and Monday to go.

    I am looking at lecture by lance dodes by heart of addiction.

    Also planning on buying " how control of addiction " by lance dodes

    I am looking at porn as just a habit till now.I am also starting to look into addiction in general.let me come to a conclusion whether porn is addiction or not.Anyways my goal is to stop looking at it.

    Wishing myself all the best.
     
  9. prakash

    prakash New Member

    2 days over only one day to go

    Its a bit hard not to watch p*rn. It has become a habit and also its my go to when i get angry,sad,mad,anxious,etc.

    Let me complete at least 3 days first then try 5,6,week,month etc.

    Lance dodes MD says problem with twelve step program is when you complete 12 days,one month you get a sobriety medallion,but when you drink you start from zero.

    He says if you where drinking every day before now you have stopped for 3 month then have a drink then again don't drink for 3 weeks you are not miserable you are doing great!!!.I agree with him i used to watch p*rn 2 or 3 times daily,now got 2 days then one day then now 2 days. i am not doing great but good enough than before!!

    Keep up the good enough work!!!
     
    ItIsTime12345 likes this.
  10. prakash

    prakash New Member

    finally 3 days over.

    Thought i couldn't do but completed 3 days.

    But yesterday copied movies from external hard drive that i am going to watch today.Its a bit of slip up.future should avoid these kind of behavior.

    Excited to watch P*orn.. I think as i keep increasing the number of days this excitement will become less.Finally will quit porn for good.

    All the best for myself!!.
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2020
    ItIsTime12345 likes this.
  11. prakash

    prakash New Member

    today 1 day
     
  12. prakash

    prakash New Member

    so my last day of no porn was on 3rd sep..
    for the last 11 days have watched porn.i have not even tried to stop
    today i am back at it again.
    have downloaded new stuff watched stuff i told that wont watch.
    this is a setback...what is learned is to keep documenting..setbacks in order to avoid them.
     
  13. Apeman

    Apeman It means you're a baboon... And I'm not

    Kudos for continuing to document your progress even when you're having difficulty. Keep trying and you will overcome!
     
  14. prakash

    prakash New Member

    thanks man and all the best
     
  15. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member

    @prakash

    Keep on learning and please never give up hope. Treat your life as an experiment, and you will gain insight into yourself you never would have imagined was there.

    You deserve a better life. I think dealing with this issue is one key that will lead you to a greater state of well-being. But the journey can sometimes be a long and excruciating one. Please never give up hope.

    Wishing you the best, and I earnestly hope your struggle is not a protracted one like mine. But even if it is, there is a way through the demoralization of broken promises and repeated setbacks. Find the key within yourself that helps you unlock that door, but don't be discouraged if you encounter another one behind it.

    You may want to reach out to @catchingup about your porn collection. He too is apprehensive about purging his collection. Maybe you two could bounce some ideas of each other to flesh out a way to reduce and ultimately eliminate your collections.

    Take care.
     
    prakash likes this.
  16. prakash

    prakash New Member

    thanks man
     

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