Practice What You Preach [GROUP]

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by TheUnderdog, Jun 11, 2013.

  1. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    I am opening this group to accomodate a total of 10 members, preferably in their 20s.

    Here's the list:

    1. TheUnderdog
    2. notfeelingit
    3. Bazooka Joe
    4. Al
    5. Aussie_85
    6. Big Lebowski
    7. Metal
    8. loro
    9. nomorefapalexander
    10. TheSecondLaw

    This group is now CLOSED for registrations.
     
  2. Bazooka Joe

    Bazooka Joe New Member

    Re: Practice What You Preach [GROUP] (8 spots left)

    27 years old. I'm in.
     
  3. al1234

    al1234 Guest

    Re: Practice What You Preach [GROUP] (8 spots left)

    I'm in, I'm 26. I really want to see this work.

    IMO this is the first port-of-call for questions and support. If you're struggling or need to vent, do it here and get 9 responses, not 5000 opinions. If you need advice, you're not sure how to handle a certain situation, you not sure if it will affect your reboot, ask your group. And even if things are going well, you still have to post weekly, keeping your mind on recovery.

    Also, the group can discuss things to do with recovery, not just abstinence. They could pick a book to read, or a workshop to get through, and they all do it together.

    Also, UD what do you make of this: if one group member relapses the whole group must suffer a penalty of some sort (i don't know, skipping breakfast, doing 100 push-ups or something). And/or they could get some reward if the group as a whole achieves, say 500 days sober, 1000 days sober etc. This might increase the responsibility each group member has towards their own recovery as well as the group's.
     
  4. Aussie_85

    Aussie_85 Guest

    Re: Practice What You Preach [GROUP] (8 spots left)

    Think i could really benefit from this,as i'm struggling a lot at the moment with the recovery side of things....iv'e improved since starting the journey- but i'm plateauing and could really use a 'team player' type opportunity.

    Up to you UD,although i doubt i'll fit the criteria/suitability since i'm pretty much ignored by the mods around here :-X

    Cheers.
     
  5. Big Lebowski

    Big Lebowski Member

    Re: Practice What You Preach [GROUP] (8 spots left)

    Im currently 19 but 20 next month. Something like this group journal I think will be extremely beneficial.
     
  6. Metal

    Metal Get busy living or get busy dying

    Re: Practice What You Preach [GROUP] (8 spots left)

    You can count me in.
     
  7. nomorefapalexander

    nomorefapalexander New Member

    Re: Practice What You Preach [GROUP] (8 spots left)

    Please, count me in. This can be really useful.

    Thanks,
     
  8. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Re: Practice What You Preach [GROUP] (8 spots left)

    Only 1 spot left!!!!!

    You're in!

    That would be up to each group.

    Shouldn't be a rule.
     
  9. Bazooka Joe

    Bazooka Joe New Member

    Re: Practice What You Preach [GROUP] (1 spot left)

    So guys, I'll make a start.

    What do you guys think of wet dreams? I'm 100 days O-free and I had one, and today I have massive headaches.
    But other than that I feel ok.

    I also had milder headaches when I was getting turned on/ getting an erection, there seems to be a correlation. I suspect that a good sign for a normal brain is when you don't have these headaches anymore.
     
  10. codz30

    codz30 Tendency toward complexity.

    Re: Practice What You Preach [GROUP] (1 spot left)

    I'm keen!
     
  11. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Re: Practice What You Preach [GROUP] (1 spot left)

    Have you been constantly thinking about sex or fantasizing?

    I read somewhere that wet dreams are more common if you do that. You fill your mind with thoughts of sex during the day and then your mind continues during the night.
     
  12. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Re: Practice What You Preach [GROUP] (1 spot left)

    Welcome!!

    Group is full now!
     
  13. codz30

    codz30 Tendency toward complexity.

    Re: Practice What You Preach [GROUP] (1 spot left)

    Are you staying hydrated?
    The wet dream experience could have reduced your water levels and this gives some nasty headaches!
     
  14. Metal

    Metal Get busy living or get busy dying

    Re: Practice What You Preach [GROUP] (1 spot left)

    Wet dreams from my experience come about if one is fantasising about sex a lot during the day or if you're edging.

    As for the headaches it's probably due to withdrawal, or from frustration lack of release while being turned on, as your brain is getting conflicting signals.

    Try to relax, and like the other poster said, stay hydrated.
     
  15. Bazooka Joe

    Bazooka Joe New Member

    Re: Practice What You Preach [GROUP] (1 spot left)

    I wouldn't say constantly. I work 8 hours and sleep 8 hours, just in my free time I think once or twice about it.
    About 2-3 minutes each. And mostly in the morning right after I wake up with morning wood.

    I don't know if anyone ever had a reboot where there weren't these phases, where you couldn't keep up your guard 100% and be in monk mode 100%.

    I drink normal amounts, should I drink considerably more? How much water does one lose?

    You may be right about conflicting signals.

    But I'm a bit caught in the middle.
    On the one hand I need to abstain for my ED, on the other hand I slowly should start arousing myself from time to time (according to YBOP) to get out of the flatline.
     
  16. Big Lebowski

    Big Lebowski Member

    Re: Practice What You Preach [GROUP] (1 spot left)

    Exactly this, I definately can relate about wet dreams experience. Stay hydrated and use deep breathing exercises for headaches. Green tea also helps reboot wise especially for headaches in my case.
     
  17. nomorefapalexander

    nomorefapalexander New Member

    It is not because of dehydration. I am getting headaches from a long time despite drinking 2-3 litres a day.

    One thing I noticed is that whenever I get around other women or people my headaches dissapear. Maybe our brains are just rewiring to the real world and the change to the brain is a bit too drastic.

    And when I get cravings for porn, my headaches get more intense.

    It is just a withdrawal symptom. It is a sign of progress.
     
  18. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    I encourage everyone to make a brief introductory post.

    We should all have an idea of everyone's rebooting situation.

    I'm going to start.

    Back before discovering Reuniting.info (YBOP's precursor) in 2010, I was having porn sessions every day of my life, sometimes 2-3 times per day. Shemale porn was my favorite genre. I had serious ED but didn't attribute it to porn until I found Reuniting. That's when this whole rebooting quest started. In 2010-2011 I went from fapping to porn daily to watching porn 10-15 times a month. However, during this time, I started visiting prostitutes on a weekly basis. Combining porn and prostitutes was a big mistake and I don't recommend it to anyone.

    I suffered from ED in most of those prostitutes encounters. In 2012 I decided to put an end to my porn addiction, so that's when I created this forum. After creating this forum, my porn usage went from 10-15 times a month to 4-5 times a month. At the end of 2012 I managed by best streak ever: 116 days without taking a single peek at porn. That's when I noticed a MASSIVE improvement in the ED department (I was still visiting prostitutes frequently).

    At the beginning of 2013 I had sex for the first time in my life without having to pay for it. Then I got my first ever girlfriend. We're still together. Her name is Rachel.

    During the first 2 months of our relationship, I was still visiting prostitutes. Why? Because I couldn't get it up with her! So I rationalized using prostitutes in many different ways. That doesn't matter right now though. At the 3 month mark I was finally able to have sex with her.

    5 months into our relationship, my current situation is this:

    I no longer have porn sessions. I no longer visit prostitutes. I still peek briefly at porn and masturbate once in a while though. However, I'm positive the peeking is no longer a problem, since 13 days ago I was finally able to edit the hosts file on my smartphone (it was a pain in the ass).

    Rachel and I are able to have sex successfully most of the time, but we decided to take a break from sex in June. We feel that I still need to recover a little bit more, because I'm still unable to do it on a regular basis. I always need to "recharge" 4-5 days between each sex session.

    My main issue right now has got to do with dealing with monogamy. I'm having trouble commiting to Rachel. I see many beautiful girls on the street every day. Sometimes I wish I could be free. But I know that this feeling is also caused by many years of porn and prostitutes, so I'm doing my best to stick with her, at least for the upcoming months. We both have a great time together.
     
  19. nomorefapalexander

    nomorefapalexander New Member

    Ok. A brief introduction from me.

    I started masturbating to porn since I was 9 or 10 years old. Back then you had to pay for porn sites, but I could find some porn clips and nude photos in a Bulgarian file sharing website. I couldn't even ejaculate back then and this resulted in long edging with death grip whenever I was alone at home. This was done maybe I think, about 5 times a week.

    From this moment I started to get more reserved and shy in school. Especially with girls.

    I never developed any fetish. My favorite category was milfs. Often times it was hard to get erection to porn and my dick would sometimes go really red from all this death grip stroking.

    As the years passed, I was becoming more and more anxious with everyone. Even my close friends and parents. I dreaded walking out and going to the store because of this social anxiety. Also, people commented that I was really passive. I also played a lot of video games since I was 9 and this was a nice escape.

    Since my abstaining from PMO, my social anxiety has diminished to almost zero. I am enjoying a lot interacting with real girls, but at the same time I try to escape from most situations and go home. Some people have noticed that I am diffeent and commented thay I am more talkative and that I have more confidence. I am experiencing a flatline and I hope this will pass soon.
     
  20. codz30

    codz30 Tendency toward complexity.

    Try getting a little more B12 in your diet (supps / mushrooms). B12 is important for healthy brain function and may keep the headaches at bay
     

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