[Possible indirect triggers] Is my experience common?

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Purpl3Wind, May 19, 2015.

  1. Purpl3Wind

    Purpl3Wind New Member

    As I specified in the thread title, if you feel you may get triggered by reading references to pornography, however minor, don't read any further.


    Hey guys, I'm back after a looong time, and while this is something that I've often thought about before, I've never really talked to anyone about this particular thing. It may be significant or not(granted, I mainly ascribe it to my temperament and general experience with women, so while it could well be an unimportant point I definitely do see reasons for it) but really, I'm mainly asking out of curiosity and at any rate I think the more one understands of himself, even through these little things, the better.

    So, in these last 2 years since I've started confronting my addiction I've collected information, data and opinions from lots of different sources, but what always stroke me as odd was that many people, while describing the reasons they see porn as unnatural in itself, regardless of any other kind of physiological, psychological, moral etc. considerations, often stress the unhealthy and ultimately false relationship between men and women as depicted in porn : pornography is mainly about the man exerting his physical domination over the woman by literally using her for pleasure in a dehumanizing and harsh way which rules out any kind of real intimacy.

    An other thing which is often brought up is the escalation in porn tastes that one experiences as he goes deeper and deeper down the path of PMO addiction, leading to all kinds of weird and kinky, if not disturbing, fetishes.

    Now let's be clear, it goes without saying that we're all in the same boat, regardless of specific differences, and even if it were any different, I would never judge anyone negatively for being trapped in a cycle as vicious as the one I know to be in myself; that is even more prominent when talking about the problem of escalation. Know that I am only asking to gain perspective over my own understanding of my addiction, because I firmly believe that, since PMO in the end is just a symptom of an( only one, if you're lucky) underlying issue, any clue is very welcome; I don't mean in any way to pass off as disregarding of those who have to deal personally with these harsher forms of the addiction.

    Having said that, what often bothers me is this, and I guess I'm asking also to know how common my situation is : I have been regularly engaging in PMO for some 5-6 years before starting nofap, and of course on and off for the last 2. I could also say that I myself, even when I was happily masturbating without a second thought, noticed over the years some kind of escalation to more varied, unusual and, often, abusive kinds of porn, just by looking at the thumbnails in the sites we all well know; but really, it was very subtle and only now, looking back, I can say to have vaguely noticed it.
    From what I gathered around however, the issue of "escalated" porn, be it violent of fetish-oriented or whatever, seems to be much more prominent than I thought.

    Now, if it were just a matter of hearing opinions from a few people, I could pass it off as something which gets highlighted just because it has an higher shock value, and so people tend to focus more on that, especially when they are personally involved with it. But really, looking at the numbers we're talking about, it's obvious that there's a huge demand to this vast array of pornographic genres, and it growing.

    The thing is, I myself can't really relate to this, and I can't help but ask myself, and you guys, because of course I can't answer myself( eh ::) ) : is this really so common?

    I ask because it seems weird to me that there would be such a vast gulf between the statistics and my own experience. Case in point, I've never really experienced any particular kind of escalation. The weirdest thing I could think of is furry hentai and even then, it was limited to very "classy" and polished artwork from a single author who happened to focus a lot on maintaining the design near "normal" hentai; also, it was a relatively minor thing in the midst of the sea of my porn consumption, and I always had mixed feelings about it. Many times I ended up being really squicked out because of some mild variation in it.
    As for the rest, I have always only watched "solo" videos, or at best lesbian in some cases, but I've always been heavily grossed out by any other kind of porn, even if it were just a man-on-woman "normal"( as normal as porn can be) looking intercourse, as the moment I even saw a penis on the screen, my little dude would go limp pretty fast, up to the point I could even stop the "session" mid-point and come back at it later.

    Is this common or am I just weird in being so easily grossed out?
     

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