Porn just ruined my relationship...

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Alexm99, Mar 14, 2019 at 4:41 PM.

  1. Alexm99

    Alexm99 New Member

    I was exposed to playboys around the time I was 6 years or so, and that was all it took.

    Ever since then, I’ve almost always watched porn, and now it’s become a problem in my life...

    *Im sort of genetically pre-disposed to addiction*

    I’m 19 now, and I’ve been in a serious relationship with a girl for 2+ years now.

    It’s the longest relationship for the both of us, and I love her to death, man.

    She’s met more of my family than any other girlfriend I’ve had, and same with her and I.

    She found my porn early in our relationship and told me she didn’t like it, but she just recently found out this week that I’ve watched porn on and off during our relationship, and she broke down and started crying.

    I crushed her heart...

    We’ve been having issues for a little while, but We’ve been trying very hard to get things to work because we love eachother. And I just threw it all away...

    She had to go out of town the next day, after finding out, and I had a really bad feeling in my gut...

    I got a phone call yesterday, and she told me that she loves me, but this straw broke the camels back and that she thinks we should go our separate ways, and hope that I can work on myself, she can do the same, and maybe in the future we can try it again.

    So she’s coming back on Saturday to get all of her stuff, our cat (which is more hers than mine) and move back home.

    It feels like a piece of me just died.

    I had all of my eggs in this basket, and I have no one else to even comfort me except for my parents, because I stopped talking to a lot of people after she came into the picture.

    I hurt my bestfriend and I don’t think I can fix it...

    I know the relationship wasn’t the best, but she is my bestfriend and I don’t think I can let her go...

    I don’t know if I can handle not being able to see all of her stuff, she’ll her, butt heads...

    I don’t know what to do,
    But I figured that going to a place to vent and maybe get some feedback is a start....
     
  2. Imfree

    Imfree Active Member

    Sorry to hear it. I'm in a similar situation, but the relationship was not as serious and the breakup not as directly related to porn. I have found that this might be the only way to really assimilate the idea of how damaging porn is. I'm trying to patch things up and it's a possibility after 6 months, so you never know.
     
  3. Alexm99

    Alexm99 New Member

    Sorry to hear you’re in a similar situation, brother.

    I’m glad to hear that there’s a potential to patch things up for you, I believe I can do the same aswell.

    Thank you for the reply, it’s good to know that I’m not alone in the boat.
     
  4. Perigee

    Perigee Member

    A few considerations:

    1. I find it highly unlikely that she didn't watch porn either.
    2. Almost every man in a relationship watches porn, so don't beat yourself up over it.
    3. You mentioned that you have no one else to talk to since you "put all your eggs in one basket" and didn't maintain your other relationships. Learn from this - this may have been one of the primary factors that led to the breakup. I had a friend who would do this every time he started seeing a new girl, he'd completely ignore us, and now I am no longer friends with him because I got so tired of it. When you start seeing a new girl you should NOT abandon your friends and other people in your life. Furthermore, you should use your friends for comfort and support, not your girlfriend (she wants YOU to be her anchor, not that other way around).
     
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  5. -Luke-

    -Luke- Active Member

    I couldn't agree more. I've made that mistake once in my life and I regretted it a lot.
     
    Alexm99 likes this.
  6. VJONW

    VJONW New Member

    I also agree with this.
    Really took a look at myself after doing that multiple times, and now I am fortunate enough to be getting married next Saturday! All while having homies still!
    This is toughh to hear man, but it’s an opportunity to learn lots about yourself and why you “cope” with POM.
    Good Luck Dawg
     
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  7. Alexm99

    Alexm99 New Member

    Thank you very much everyone for the help and words.

    This is my first time posting here, and I was expecting to get internet roasted and stuff.

    I think I like this community. :)
     
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  8. WilliamOneAndDone

    WilliamOneAndDone Active Member

    Was where you are at a long time ago. It came down to a choice. Choose to keep porn in my life and lose my girl (and any realistic hope of a normal healthy relationship) or ditch porn. Once you take the withdrawals out of the question the easy answer is choose reality. Take some time to read up and prepare. If you really are addicted, quitting is going to be painful, but at least you have a reason.

    Peace.
     
    VJONW likes this.

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