Porn Induced ED. With a new grilfriend.

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Nassob, May 1, 2014.

  1. Nassob

    Nassob New Member

    Hi! Im a guy and I'm 26 years old right now. I'm in college, and recently started a relationship with a beautiful girl. But I noticed some problems recenty. Let me explain my history first.

    I've beem PMO'ing ever since I was 14... Started with lesbian porn. And only a few days a week. But as time went by, I started watching more and more, and needed new kinds of porn... The typical story we see here everyday...
    My problem was always that I'm really shy, So it was hard for me to have intimacy with any girl, and I guess that made me search for it in porn.
    Like 2 years ago I noticed that I was watching porn almost 24/7, and it started to affect other parts of my life, my studies especially...
    So I found this site, and tried a few times to stop PMO'ing with different success rates. I think the most I got was 1 month.
    I also noticed that my erections were getting weaker... But since I never had sex till a few months ago, I thought it was no big problem, I just had to watch different kinds of porn, and change videos all the time. Cause the regular videos wouldnt do it for me anymore. Had to search for different kinds of fetishes or stuff like that.

    Recently I got a girl who is great. I lost my virginity to her... But I was really disappointed with my performance... I had no problem getting hard, even though not as rock hard as my teenagers days. I could keep it up with her masturbating me or sucking me... But a few mins of penetration I would go limp. Like 1 or 2 mins maybe.. and I simply couldnt cum. The second time I get to cum, but I had to do it with my own hands while she helped me.
    I only had sex with her 2 times, and a lot of fun stuff in different days, like HJ and BJ... But I'm really nervous about having sex again... And I can see that she gets frustrated with me avoiding it. I'm scared she might get tired of me... I know she likes me a lot, thats why shes hanging on... But I dont know if she will be that understanding forever.

    I've been avoiding masturbating for like 3 to 4 weeks... And almost no porn... Just some cam girls, but not a lot. maybe 3 days or 4 watching them, and not for a long time...
    The girl that I'm dating though sends lots of pictures, NSFW, but I cant tell her to stop, she would get offended, and I like the pictures of course ;D

    I'll considere that I'm 2 weeks with no PMO, and Ill avoid everykind of porn from now on. even cam girls... But I dont know if thats enough, cause In the past with 2 weeks of no PMO I would get morning woods from time to time, now it has beem almost a month, and all I got was a wet dream...

    Anyone faced something like that?? I really really really need some help with this...
     
  2. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    Hey Nassob,

    I'll tell you what happened to me and you can take it however you want.

    When I found out about this site I immediately stopped watching porn to get better, sadly in that same week I found this beautiful girl who became my girlfriend within a month or 2. I say sadly because I didn’t truly believe a girl would be able to comprehend "our" situation and accept us as limp dicks which is what we are lets keep it real.

    I told her my problems within the first month and tried to break up with her because i didn’t think she would be good for my healing process and the pressure to perform when I know I couldn’t was killing me. She was EXTREMELY SUPPORTIVE wow she was amazing and still is. When we have sex and it does not work she says “don’t worry about it I understand” and she will just finish me off with a blowjob.

    The problem for me was it became very embarrassing, I started to feel like a little boy and when she wasn’t around I would get so angry about it. This made me seek help from pills (Viagra) and my performance was off the chain, and she was loving it! but in time that also made me feel pretty worthless because it was not me.

    So I decided to end it with her this week to concentrate on getting better, I believe that when I become happy with myself and I’m better, it will be easier to hold a relationship without fear and pressure which is what I want. This girl was amazing and I’ve had to get her go because of this god damn illness, it kills me inside I swear I will get better no matter what now.

    Last Ever Pmo - 30/4/2014
     
  3. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Reboot and stay off porn.

    Start eating her pussy good.
     
  4. Nassob

    Nassob New Member

    Hmm thanks for your story Damien09... Im living something pretty similar. But I dont think I'm ready to let her go.. Even because I already broke up with her once, and now we started dating again, I would be evil to break up with her twice in such a short amount of time. Plus I like her, shes being amazing for me. And after all, did u break up with her? How is it going?

    And so far no Porn whatsoever, almost no urges at all to look at porn.... But that may be cause she sends me nude photos of herself.... But still, its at least less graphic than porn for sure.

    And I met her last thursday... Had no problem getting hard, and stayed hard, but it was a blowjob so its not that impossible. The problem for me is that I'm pretty sure I'm not getting as hard as I used to get, and thats messing with my head(the bigger one).
    Another thing, do you guys feel really really really depressed after cumming? Like you just wanna leave the girl and never call her again.... After a while that feeling goes away, but thats the feeling at the moment, maybe because of my "condition"

    So I guess I'm on day 17 with no porn. and 28 with no masturbation... I wanna see what the improvement will be in 2 months with no porn, and no masturbatoin, but having sex.... I hope that doing that can rewire my brain, even if it takes longer, cause right now I dont think I can break up with her just to reboot....

    Any more tips guys?
     
  5. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    There are no more tips.

    Your getting hard for sex and blow jobs its just going to take time away from porn with consistent rewiring to fix yourself.
     
  6. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    Definitely stay with your girlfriend - doing this alone is harder than I thought but I've made my descision and i'll stick it out but i have fallen back into my old ways a bit and when I was with her I never thought about porn or fel vicitim to my urges.
     
  7. rodzilla26

    rodzilla26 New Member

    I think having a partner actually helps.

    In my case i have to O twice a week, without sex from my partner i would be masturbating.

    Especially if someone is understanding and knows what you go through then its perfect - you get both body and heart.

    treasure a GF like that.

    Think of this like replacing masturbation with sex, porn with people. You dont have to hate sex just the manner in which you perform it.
     
  8. Nassob

    Nassob New Member

    Day 23 with no porn:

    Some good news, I recently explained to my girlfriend my problem... Every aspect of it... And she was cool as hell, wants to help me and stuff. This definitely takes some pressure out of it.
    Also no urges for porn, none whatsoever. This feel weird, I actually have no desire to search for my old porn habits. Nasty and extreme stuff. No urges to watch camgirls... And easily avoiding anything like celebrities oops and "innocent" stuff like that.

    A few days ago, she went on skype and one thing led to another and she got naked. I got hard as hell. Like I haven't been in a while. And stayed like that for a while, without much hand stimulation.
    I got really hopeful after that... I didn't cum, cause I forced myself not to masturbate or cum if I'm not with her.

    And the bad news: Today I went to meet her... We got horny in the car, and we did some stuff, like hand stuff and she sucked me. But I didn't get as hard as I did on skype, and also, I couldn't cum, I can only cum if I masturbate beside her, blowjobs or her hand jobs don't work for me. I can clearly see she gets really frustrated with that.

    Another thing I noticed is that the longer I take to cum, the harder it is to get erections. Sometimes we play like that for like 1,5 hours, and after that it gets really hard to get even small erections even thought I didn't cum.. Maybe I should focus on cum like in the first 10 or 15 minutes, to see if I can maintain an erection for this amount of time.

    I'm thinking about visiting an urologist and see what he thinks of this situation... And maybe get a prescription for Viagra.. Cause I have anxiety disorders, and I think this also may be sabotaging my performance, and maybe a few enhanced erections would get my confidence up a bit and I could get less anxious about the whole situation.

    Godzilla26 I agree with you, ever since I have been with this girl my desire for porn reduced greatly. The problem for me is that sex with her includes masturbation, cause I have to finish myself by masturbating, and that may be a problem because I would actually like to cum without masturbating using the death grip, and I may be conditioning myself to only orgasm like that. Another problem is that we exchange a lot of naked photos. And that may count as porn in my brain... Even though its different cause it doesn't escalate and it is actually a girl that I "have".

    I hope things get easier for you Damien09, I dont know if I would have the courage to do what you did, even thought I think about it from time to time. Keep me posted about your situation.
     
  9. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Don't skype with her and dont jack off with her unless its her doing it.

    Skype is a computer screen. If you have ED stop doing that and stop jacking off even with her your completely conditioned to self pleasure
     
  10. Nassob

    Nassob New Member

    It's really hard cause if I don't cum, she feels bad, like if I didn't enjoy anything. I guess we need to discuss the issue a bit more.
    But thanks for the advice. I'll try to commit myself to this: Next time I cum, I wont be using my hands. Even if it takes a few encounters.
     
  11. iHaveSeenEvil

    iHaveSeenEvil Do it for her, the mother of my children.

    It's very common for a male to feel that way after sex.
    It's usually for a brief period of time, less than half an hour, but after orgasm one can briefly lose all interest in the girl.
    Try to realize that it's a temporary feeling and not do anything irrational during it.
    This girl sounds pretty fucking cool.

    Skyping with her is essentially the same thing as viewing porn.
    Don't do it.
    Also, if you're experiencing ED, DE or other issues with her right now, it's only temporary.
    At one point I was dating a girl and could only get off with her when I masturbated next to her.
    A month or so later I was able to have full, beautiful and satisfying penetrative sex with no issues at all.

    It does take a little bit of time man, but if you stay away from the porn and rewire with her it will get better.

    Anxiety can no doubt cause issues, especially with erections, but what you are describing sounds exactly like PIED.
    What I'm trying to say is you will be able to recover from this and anxiety will no longer be an issue with regards to sex.
     
  12. Nassob

    Nassob New Member

    Thanks for the support iHaveSeenEvil. I just had sex with her a few hours ago, and this time I didnt feel depressed or anxious at all after orgasm, and that's great, its nice to be able to feel really close to her after sex.

    Day 29:
    So far no porn whatsoever. Not many urges, almost zero... The problem is that I still skype with her... I'm having a really hard time stopping this, specially cause since we cant see each other everyday, skype keeps us close. But I'll have to think about this.

    Hmm as I mentioned earlier, had sex today... Still have ED, but I actually got to a point where I had sex even with ED, it was only a partial erection for most of the time, but I kept going even with it... I never could do that before, usually it was over as soon as my dick started to get softer, but today I managed to change positions and penetrate for quite a few minutes... I hope that means improvement and that I can repeat that every time until I'm fully healed. Maybe I'm rewiring and that's why my dick is not getting soft all the way, or at least taking longer.

    The bad news is that I still had to use my hands to cum, but at a certain point I got close to cum while she masturbated me.

    I'm really thankful for this girl, even though she is a bit insecure about somethings and sometimes I feel like we are close to breaking up, but with this issue she's being a really greaaaat help.

    You guys think that having to much sex holds the progress at this stage? Cause I'm pretty sure there will be opportunities for more sex this weekend.

    So my next goal still is being able to cum without using my hands. Wish me luck ;)
     
  13. Nassob

    Nassob New Member

    Day 30:
    Well, broke up for about 12 hours, but we are back together...

    But weird thing happened, I'm starting to have a few urges again, at least tonight. Don't know if it has anything to do with the "breaking up for 12 hours" thing. Or maybe I'm getting my libido back.. No idea... I just hope hope everything keeps evolving. Well, no porn so far and thats always good :D

    Ohhhh and she said we should avoid skype and photos, dont know why, if shes trying to help me with this or if since we broke up for a few hours shes a bit self conscious right now, but in anycase.... its helping me and im grateful for that.
     
  14. Nassob

    Nassob New Member

    Day 32:

    Still no porn, had a few urges, but had sex instead... That's kinda of great to say :D

    Hmmm still not getting full erections, but I'm able to have sex for a while, not like 15 minutes straight, but I dont know, a few minutes, maybe 10, maybe.. But I can recover and start again after a while, so maybe things are getting better...
    Still not able to cum without using my hands, but got close to do it again with her doing it for me... I'm sensing I will be able to do it soon..
     

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