Porn-Free June 2020

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by YourBrainRebalanced, May 31, 2020.

  1. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Well-Known Member

    On my part a little dip in motivation today and some back round urges. I hope everyone is doing all right ! One third of the month already gone by.
     
    -Luke-, axebattler and Gil79 like this.
  2. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Some days with urges behind me. All quite anxiety-related I think. Feeling more calm now.
     
  3. axebattler

    axebattler Member Staff Member


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    Stubborn and Thelongwayhome27 like this.
  4. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Well-Known Member




    Motive vs. Motivation in recovery

    I suspect, we all registered to this porn recovery forum for a very good reason. Most likely, we all agree that there are merrier places to spend our time, so we didn't end up writing & reading here by chance. Whether we want to get our erections back, or we want to stop using porn because of other sexual malfunctions, or our use of porn has become troublesome for us - our motives may differ but they are probably all very strong and good ones. Moreover, our motives are cast in stone. Yeah sure, sometimes we add or substract little things but the main reason we embarked on the quest to recovery will not change over time.

    Our motivation, on the other hand, is ever-changing. It depends on our form on the day, on what experiences we made during the day, on what we have been exposed to or what we expose ourselves to. Setbacks can affect our motivation negatively pushing us into the direction of relapses while breakthroughs and achievements can help our motivation to reach incredibly highs possibly leading to positive compound effects.

    Being aware of these two phenomens can be very helpful. Remembering why you started active recovery is extremely important when motivation is low and relapsing seems like a very appealing thing to do. And when the addiction starts negotiating and is trying convince you with seemingly good reasons for using porn, because starting all over tomorrow is not a problem at all, all your alarm bells should go off! In this case (most of us have been there or repeatedly end up in this moment), you need to find a way to snap out of this train of thought and remind yourself of your motive(s). Why is it a good idea to use porn now when you avoided doing it at all costs for X amount of days/weeks/months/years? Our past self has decided with a clear mind that abstaining from porn and getting the addiction under control is of top priority. So why wouldn't that count anymore in this very moment?

    Often times, depressed people in recovery are being told to create themselves some kind of emergency box. In this box, many things can be put in that help the depressed person to snap out of a depressive mood or when the depression hits the hardest. It can be photos of loved ones or cherished memories, art that pleases you, an even objects that emit fragrances like lavender or even coffee. Anything that positively stimulate your senses, emotions, feelings and help you to bring yourself back to a more rational thinking.

    Why am I writing this? Because we, as porn users in recovery, also benefit from such an entitity that helps us not to relapse and reminds us of our motive. Noah Church once suggested to record a video for yourself which you can watch in that moment. Maybe you want to write a letter to yourself to remind you of your reasons. Sometimes, we are unable to see the big picture, unable to zoom out and perhaps see that the saving bank isn't too far away or even unreachable as we might think in that moment. But these moments will pass as they are only snapshots. Both the good ones and the negative ones. That is why we also need to stay level-headed or humble in victory. And that is why you will benefit from having a method in place you can use to stay the course when your ship encounters raging sea.

    You can't direct the wind, but you can adjust your sails.

    Take care!
     
    Mekkeren, Gil79, -Luke- and 1 other person like this.
  5. Stubborn

    Stubborn Member

    Staying the course!
    No cheating, no peaking, no excessive time spent in the shower and no sex in the foreseeable future... Nothing... This is the most strict I've ever been with myself and it's new territory for me! My subconscious mind is just fucked! It's rebelling, hardcore. It's basically telling me "Fine! If you're not going to give me what I want then I'll take matters into my own hands!"

    All day long, I'm being shown things I don't want to see. Mostly memories of ex-lovers. Not much porn but I guess it's all "porn" in a way. Should I be reassured that I'm at least being tortured with images from my real life? I'm not about to slip up. I'm resolved dammit! This doesn't feel like temptation exactly. It's just misery. And confusion. Foggy-minded confusion. Anyone have any experience with these kinds of feelings? Tips for dealing? I have I nasty sense that I'm just going to have to white-knuckle my way through this rough patch. I'm being so good! I have my job back during the days to help distract me. And still... things are rough.

    Hope you guys are having an easier time than I am!!
    Cheers
     
    Pete McVries, Mekkeren and -Luke- like this.
  6. Mekkeren

    Mekkeren Member

    Haha great video @Pete McVries , I thought about having a token all times that has a special meaning to me. It has to be small enough for me to carry around everywhere . When my motivation is lower and addiction starts talking to me I can look at this special token and be reminded of my motives and snap out off it.

    For me, all those memories of ex-lovers that we get tortured by, feels like it is part of our healing. Like my brain is processing everything that has happened to me which I might in the past have squished with porn-use. Now it comes boiling up again. How to deal with it? I might not be the right guy to comment on that maybe more experienced rebooters have advice. But I just let it those thoughts pass. If you put to much effort into pushing it away it will only push harder back. Everything you give attention to grows.
     
    Pete McVries likes this.
  7. Stubborn

    Stubborn Member

    There's a lot of truth in this! I've been putting off some seriously heavy emotional labour for years now, distracting myself with porn and alcohol. The feelings are all still there, waiting to be dealt with. Really making their presence known the last few days. Thanks for the input!
     
  8. Stubborn

    Stubborn Member

    Two weeks!! This is officially the longest I've gone without P, M or O in sixteen years!
     
  9. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Well-Known Member

    Congratulations! By the end of the month you will have doubled your record ;)
     
    Gil79, Thelongwayhome27 and Stubborn like this.
  10. Stubborn

    Stubborn Member

    It's the 15th day of Porn-Free June! You know what that means!
     
  11. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Well-Known Member

    If the spirit of Bon Jovi is with us we truly cannot fail :cool:
     
    Gil79 likes this.
  12. BlackAngel90

    BlackAngel90 New Member

    For the most part this month has been succesful. No masturbation to porn. But i did have a peak on three occasions while scrolling through reddit and I came upon NSFW content. decided just to delete reddit after the third time and download a porn blocker on my phone. Out of site out of mind. I made note of it and hope to go through July with out any peaking or slip ups. But I am proud to say I have not had any full fledged relapses as i would have had in the past. So I can say I am getting somewhere.
     
  13. Stubborn

    Stubborn Member

    I was so damn close! With just four days left in June, I was badly triggered and messed up. But after a day of feeling very low and depressed, I'm back on the wagon! This is a life-long pursuit after all! Those first 26 successful days were the start of something much bigger and I feel I'm already learning a lot about myself thanks largely to the support of this community!
     
  14. Gil79

    Gil79 Seize the day

    Just 10 hours to go, so I think I will make it :D

    Masturbated to fantasy in the beginning of June and last night I dreamed I relapsed to porn :confused:. I was happy to wake up clean :). Otherwise no fantasy, masturbation, porn, porn-subs or ogling. So pretty happy with all this. Looking forward to porn-free July.
     
    Thelongwayhome27 likes this.

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