Porn addiction turning straight guys gay?

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by AnAverageGuy23, May 17, 2014.

  1. AnAverageGuy23

    AnAverageGuy23 New Member

    I actually kind of agree with mustang to a certain extent, he says he never once thought about going to gay porn which many straight guys wouldn't but i think for people like myself i think it would actually be easyish. I'll explain, I suffer from OCD and when I was younger I feared being gay, and would check etc I'm sure you've heard it all about HOCD etc. when I first checked to gay porn I was indeed disgusted but as I checked again and again I got use to it desensitised myself to it let's say, until eventually I was actually able to jerk to it. However throughout my life I've found the idea of being with a guy well not appealing and when I beat my HOCD I had my attraction to women back and my feelings of nothing or weirdness when thinking anything gay, I knew I was/am straight. But I'm a porn and masturbation addict and I think I could change my preference quite easily through MO/PMO, because I've already changed myself into liking some things I found sick in the past. But i don't find gay porn disgusting nor attractive, I feel nothing, if I started jerking to it because it's sexual I think I could possibly get off to it. I don't think many guys would get into the gay stuff because they see it as disgusting but if they had a similar experience to myself I think it would be easier. Hopefully it won't happen to me, but who knows what my mind will hook onto if I don't stop this, I crave porn and masturbation so much of the time it's ridiculous, I feel like I could to anything even remotely sexual!
     
  2. carlos24

    carlos24 New Member

    Hi guys sorry for rebumping this but I want to share my story.
    I was/am an heterosexual man,since I can remember I love women,since 3 or 4 years old. I didnt even know what gay men did until I was 18 believe it or not. I started masturbating to fantasies with woman and the ocasional magazine around 11 and when the internet came I went on to porn.
    I remember thinking of girls who perform oral sex as something nasty I didnt undertand how they could do it as gross as a penis seemed to me.
    Ive never found men atractive in ANY way,I gotta admit growing up I looked at other men penis in the gym or anywhere like everyone else but just the natural curiosity of a nude body,specially because Im circumcised,I had a lot of selfsteem issues growing up circumsized cause where I live nobody is,so I did not shower in public or get intimate with girls. so my teen years were all masturbating. Im very shy too. I used to think girls did not like penis as much,maybe I was raised very christian traditional,sex was always a taboo home and from 11 years old I did not have my father at home. But one thing for sure was I adored women adn sex in everyway,their body their beauty their voice smell just everything.both real and media.it remains the same today and I have no atraction for men at all.
    I moved to a bigger city,and I started talking in chats,I met with a couple guys who performed oral on me,while I was looking to another place or thinking of girls.
    Also ocasionally if I was going out and didnt get a girl when I was drunk going back home I would recieve oral in cruising areas and leave.i would think its just a mouth,better than get home and masturbate myself.Im not gay o rbi.I still could not understand how women would put a penis in their mouth,let alone men doin it.it seemed gross to me.
    I started having sex with girls and increased porn use,never gay porn,still today its gross for me to see,Ive watched male solo mastb porn couple times but it really doesnt turn me on. I consume most of all POV oral with a girl.
    After many encounters with ED I got tired of that embarrasment and I went deep into porn consumption. At some poin 4 years ago I was 30.I was not recieving oral from men anymore,I never really enjoyed it cause the look of it was disgusting and I also didnt want the risk of somebody finding out and labeling me as gay.
    So I was so into porn specially oral.amateur HD gag.. u name it. not meeting girls because of my ED.And one day I begin to wonder what do those girls feel,what did my ex felt while doin it.I also was curious about the uncut penis and wanted to explore one to know what Ive missed.
    I tried to fight that curiosity for 2 years but eventually I met a guy in his car and gave oral to him.
    I really could not beleive I was doing it,and that was a big rush of excitement,even on my way to meet him,and doing it.I felt ashamed but also teh pleasure of doing something nobody in their wild mind would think of me doin.I always been the perfect son the perfect brother ablablabla and in some way it was a way of ecaping Mr Right too and do something freaky. Afterwards I could not say I liked it,or disliked it. I just said well I dont need this its not as pleaseurable as I thought and if somebody finds out they will automaticly think Im gay. but 3 weeks later the urge to do it came back.
    Since then I do it about 4 or 5 times a year.
    I didnt thought I was gay after doing it. I cant label me as gay cause I dont like men and I love women,I cant label me as bi cause i really dont like men I just like their penis. Needless to say the more I did it the more it became an adiction.ive treid to figh it Ive managed for months but I always fall back to do it.the rush of doin it secretly the taboo and all that is a high difficult to escape.And I cant please a woman so I cant meet them.
    Recently ive gone into the femdom humilliation porn,some of it tailored to straight guys in denial that they are gay. also ive skyped with girls and ask them to do that to me,accidentally a girl begin making fun of my ED and I got rock hard.since then thats what I look for..Sad I know but thats the freaky side of selfhate that porn makes you become.
    I know for sure iM not gay as crazy as it may sound for a guy that gives oral to other guys. You may think Im in denial.
    so my opinion is Porn cant turn you gay because if you love women,porn wont make you forget about it and like only men.But it surely can turn you into a bisexual or open minded straight guy.
    If you consider gay any man who has a sexual relation with another any number of times then maybe I am in your opinion. but to be honest i dont think Im gay cause I lived 30 years of heterosexual life and to this day Im not atracted to men other than the fetiche of oral sex.I love the taboo of it,I prefer it to a complete sexual relationship,even with women.
    My opinion is in the past men were not exposed to male genitalia as much as we are today. And if you think about it,nobody wants to see porn of a guy with a small penis,even the most super macho man posting in this post that claim to be so heterosexual.
    So I guess circumstances come into play,if you live ina little village you probably never get to explore or have discreet encounters witht he opositte sex. But if you spend 20 years watching something everyday,it does get familiar,and it doesnt look that gross to you anymore.and who knows maybe you end up liking it like the stockolm syndrome.
    I still love women,I still get turned off by gay porn shemale etc but I like penis and give oral.
    Maybe it was that dopamine rush of doing the taboo thing.I truly feel like an adiction,I just needed every certain time like a hunger. My brain needs that adrenaline rush of meeting a stranger lights off and do what Im not suposed to do behind everybody.
    My advice to everybody is...please be free,dont try just out of curiosity. This will make you a slave for..Something you dont need and cna perfectly be fine without.
    Now I have the stress of hiding my encounters,find the time the place.And also my selfsteem is a bit down cause i cant just come out and say..im gay,because im not.When you say you are bisexual women dont look at you as a macho anymore either and my family would think Im gay not bi.and I cant come out as bi because i cant date a man,kiss a man or have sex with a man.
    Any thoughts are wellcome.I know for sure that if I didnt have Ed I would be banging girls right and left and I probably would have never played the submisive role with men.Its as if I need to feel that sense of virility through them,the virility Im lacking.
    I wish i had never tried,but I dont blame myself for it,I accept myself as an heterosexual man who likes to give head every once ina while.I honestly dont think I can fight it but i know that if I could have a girlfriend and satisfy her I would not be meeting guys around.
    Ive tried several times quit porn but I never got to a month,I saw an erection quality improvement so I know porn adiction is the problem.Even a week off gives me possitive results. But I dont hae the courage to go thrrogh.
    there are also other factors,I live with family my mother does not alow girls. to be honest,I blame my parents for a lot of this.First by circumsizing me before I would even talk,thats something Ill never forgive.Then by teaching me sex as something bad or taboo to hide.third by not alowing me to bring girls home that led to my porn adiction.
    well this ahs been long but I hope it helps somebody.Im a 33 eyar old now,impotent and closeted bi. Im also stressed about women finding out I do men,amybe in my walk or feminine ways.I walys took care of my looks,but never had a doubt about it but now I wonder if they may find out I do men cause I look too metrosexual.I know its all in my head cause I always looked like this even when I thought penises were gross,but now its different.I had women asking me before if I was gay and I didnt care about it and said no.but now if they ask me I surely would get nervous even though I dont identify as gay I know I participate in gay activities,I dont know if it shows,women are very intuitive.Many factors came into play but porn was definately the biggest in my opinion
     
  3. Rengaw

    Rengaw Will log on every other week from 13/10/2016

    Hey carlos,


    I think it's great you're so honest about your situation. You're case isn't unique, there's a lot of guys that have experimented. However, sometimes one can't shake of the experiences and one is likely to get hooked - even though you don't want a sexual preference to happen, it does. If you're feeling bad about such a thing it's HOCD. Look it up.

    HOCD isn't normal and it isn't permanent; it's part of the addiction. Me, I've been suffering from HOCD too and I sometimes have fantasies that don't match my sexual taste - it's just lust to a new experience. You have that too. You're hooked on sex and apparently do it with men, yet you by reading your post, you don't seem to like to do it with men. That's HOCD.

    By abstention you're brains get to normalize - you will have to fight some urges, feel horny now and then- but it won't come easy.

    On a side note; there's nothing wrong with being gay or bi. Having sex is fine. As long as you feel okay about it. I sense you're not okay with male to male sex and I suggest you should cut it out off your life.

    Good luck..

    Rw
     
  4. Mal Dreamer

    Mal Dreamer Member

    When I was a little boy, I begged God to turn me into a heterosexual. I hated myself for being gay, and wondered why God would do this to a little boy who already had enough pain and misery to deal with. Up until the age of 25, I fought my nature tooth and nail. But no matter how much I prayed, and how many girls I dated, I couldn't change the way God had made me.

    The only response I ever got from God was his followers' "righteous" discrimination, "Godly" hate, "Bible-justified" violence, and "Pro-Christian" oppression.

    I never asked to be gay, I never wanted to be gay, I certainly never CHOSE to be gay, ...and up until the age of 25 I would've done ANYTHING to be heterosexual.

    Striveforpurity: Please stop saying that people choose to be gay. You have no idea what you're talking about.
     
  5. DrsBest

    DrsBest New Member

    mal, out of curiosity, are you still religious or somebody that has faith in god?
     
  6. Greg1994

    Greg1994 New Member

    Just a question, were you ever able to have sex with girls or get rock hard erections to girls? What was growing up like? We're you ever attracted to girls and fantasize about them? Have crushes on girls? Or were all your fantasies and erections to men?
     
  7. Mal Dreamer

    Mal Dreamer Member

    No. Thanks to the actions of Christians, and the inaction of God, I think it's all a lie.

    Greg1994: In my responses to your questions, I'm going to assume that you are completely straight. I'm sorry if I'm wrong.
    Ask yourself the same question, but change "girls" to "guys". It really is just that simple. At no point in my entire life have I ever had a desire for women. Even if I managed to fix my ED issue, I could never get hard for a girl, just like you couldn't get hard for a guy.

    Back when I was in my early twenties, I was at a Pennsylvania gay bar called Yuppies. A very pretty girl came up to me and started chatting. All of a sudden, she started saying things like "Have you ever been curious about having sex with a girl?". It became clear to me that, for whatever reason, she wanted to have sex with a gay man. As she got pushier and pushier about it, I got more and more uncomfortable. I wasn't the least bit curious to do anything with her, and all I wanted was for her to go away! That should answer your question.

    Never-ending, soul-sucking, loneliness and despair. The constant guarding of a terrible secret that, if revealed, would've cost me the love of my entire family and almost every one of the tiny number of friends I'd made. That's about as much as I care to say about it. Was there something more specific you wanted to know?

    I was never attracted to a woman, I never fantasized about women, and I never had a crush on a girl (although I tried to convince myself otherwise, when I was trying to force myself to be heterosexual). All of my fantasies are (and always have been) about men. That is the way I was made.
     
  8. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    mal dreamer the world is becoming more accepting as they gain more knowledge on homosexuals. Don't let internalized oppression and societal pressure destroy your confidence. And most, importantly, stop jacking off to porn.
     
  9. carlos24

    carlos24 New Member

    I have to admit before engaging in homosexual sex I was pretty homofobic. I thought of gay man as something less than a real man,something I could not understand and dirty. Even though Im still not confortable seeing gay porn ive realized they are not less of a man they just have a different sexual desire.And if you are sure you are heteroseual you should not feel unconfortable around them.ive had friendship with gay men later in life with no seual interest at all in any part.
    About choosing...I think there are some people borned like that but unfortunately a lot of gay men have been introduced to sex by a family member at very young age.
    Just by seeing how hooked I am on oral sex having started at 30 after all my whole life liking women,I can only imagine the effect it can have on a little child. theres no way you cant be gay or bi after that. And its jsut not fair,everybody should have the right to choose his/her own sexual orientation with their own growth.
    Im christian and yes in some way I have the thought of sin and satan and so on. But I see that I cant help it.I believe in God and im not goign to promise him do something that iM not able to do.If I ever pray to God to give me strengh to overcome this addiction I will quit for good. I just know I never liked men,I just learned to like penises thru porn exposure.Now Im thinking of making a decision.Either try to solve my ed porn adiction and homosexual cravings so I ahve the confidence to meet girls again ,or just accept that i was a straight guy that made the mistake,or tried out of curiosity to give head got hokked on it and accept im goign to be a closeted penis sucker for the rest of my life.I have to make one of those decisions cause IM torturing myself,doing something I dont want to do blaming myself later and so on. I gotta have the courage to quit or accept it. The stress I have for somone finding out my secret is not letting me fully enjoy my life.Same for the inability to have sex with women is destroyng my selfsteem.
     
  10. I don't think so. The people that are going to feel the most "fear" or "shock" from gay porn are bisexuals with a lot of internalized homophobia. Internalized homophobia is completely involuntary, so no matter how cool he thinks he is about gay people, subconsciously he stigmatizes them.
    This is mostly due to cultural upbringing.

    For example:

    A completely straight guy is brought up in a culture that is very accepting of LGBTs. A lot of his family members and friends are openly gay. One day he decides to watch gay porn out of curiosity. It is unlikely that he will feel FEAR or SHOCK. More like complete indifference. Because - you know - he's completely straight, and why should he be afraid or shocked at anything? It is something that his family and friends do all the time, and he knows this. It just isn't his cup of tea. Gay porn simply doesn't register for him. It probably actually looks kinda funny to him, in a weird way. He doesn't feel any guilt or shame from watching it. He is totally secure about his sexuality.

    Compare this to a bisexual guy that is brought up in a socially conservative culture that completely stigmatizes LGBTs. One day he decides to watch gay porn out of curiosity. To his absolute SHOCK and HORROR he is turned on by this. WHY?! He has ALWAYS been attracted to girls his entire life. He CAN'T be gay, HE JUST CAN'T BE!!!! He feels ENORMOUS guilt and shame. He is totally INSECURE about his sexuality. HOCD in a nutshell.
     
  11. carlos24

    carlos24 New Member

    I dont think your explanation is true,theres no bklack or white.for example.I never liked porn gay,Im still disgusted by it.But I perform oral sex on men and enjoy women doing it.Gay porn just doesnt turn me on and its gross,and its not due to any condicionting about it not being cool or education. I just dont like seeing men on men action at all.Not fear or anything just disgust.
    I dont think that just becuase you are disgusted to see gay porn then you are bi.thats an absurd asumption. By the way most straight guys that get into casual homo sex is mostly oral sex and they do consume heterosexual porn and they are not so into anal sex.I know cause I have a lot of encounters with guys in my same page,straight guys with girlffriend who consume heterosexual porn but enjoy a casual oral sex with men,giving or recieving.due to the taboo thing or whatever.of course that can escalate to becoming bi,have se with men nd maybe dont like women anymore...But I dont think that completely straight guys dont ahve any problem watching gay porn. I think it disgust any straight man its just something not pleasureable
     
  12. Borges08

    Borges08 Member

    [qeuote author=chapterx link=topic=21028.msg357890#msg357890 date=1400392139]
    'Coolidge Effect', that is, where your brain gets tired of getting off on the same old stuff and looks for something that is shocking or fear inducing, like gay porn for straight men.


    [/quote]

    That's escalation. The coolidge effect is when your brain is sexually interested in a new receptive female after already copulating with one already.
     
  13. A Streetcar

    A Streetcar New Member

    As a straight guy, I will be honest and say I don't understand the minds of gay people. But ... I also don't understand the minds of heterosexual women, and why they are attracted to men.

    So, I simply take people at their word when they say they did not choose to be how they are.

    Be well Mal Dreamer.
     
  14. themadfapper

    themadfapper New Member

    This whole Kinsey rating and "Bi, Gay, Hetro" is a relatively new concept. It is possible that it isn't entirely accurate, or that it's complete bullshit like almost all the social conditioning and supposed enlightenment of modern society. Considering that sexuality may not be set in stone does not make you a hatemongerer and it doesn't mean your gonna kill people who have gay sex. How about a little tolerance for the guy who shared his Christian beliefs, or is this so called tolerance just a crock of shit for you, and it's really only tolerance of your beliefs and way of doing things but not for anyone else's? And a lot more Christians have been killed throughout history for their beliefs than homosexuals ever have for having gay sex.

    In these attacks on this fellow, you ironically accuse him of being gay like it is the worst kind of insult and in doing so are being far more slanderous of homosexuals than anything the fellow sharing his beliefs did.


    Whenever I hear someone talk about how they are totally hetero and can't do gay things from experience with this sort of thing I know it's almost always bullshit. The only real question is to what degree the speaker is trying to convince himself or to convince others. You close your eyes and make believe and you can get hard, and you can do it given enough HONEST GOES at it. Guys who talk too much about how hetro they are tend to be the down low guys who have gay sex in secret in my experience. Take prison for example and the phenomenon of guys engaging in gay sex there. These supposedly straight guys go gay? Or you will say they were bi all along, huh? Supposedly you can't choose to do something, or "make do with the situation you have" no you are born to do things and nothing can change that, unless you get a doctor to give you a sex change. This whole born to do things and can't change it is very similar to far right hate speech ironically enough. I belive it doesn't matter what you were born as this doesn't determine who you are, but rather what you DO!

    Sex is for reproduction. That is what those drives are for, and anything else is a deviation of this. It's not there to relax you it's not there for spiritual connection. If you're doing it for sport, fun, etc what is the huge difference between a man and a woman? For example, if you're into anal penetration. If you shave a guy's ass and do him up his anus it will be the same as a woman's. There is no physical difference, it's just in your mind and that can be changed. It's quite possible that sexual promiscuity and birth control are not natural and that this obsession with sex in the west has opened up a pandoras box.

    Anyone who has spent much time on internet porn sees how quickly one's tastes can change. I have never watched much regular straight porn, but if you spend your day jacking off to a close up of a penis and balls, not to mention another man fucking a woman you find attractive [ cuckolding] it's going to have a pernicious effect on your mind.

    Your finding yourself turned on by cock doesn't mean "your gay" or that you should indulge in gay sex any more than it means you're a shit eater, woman torturer for getting turned on by scat and BDSM or that you should do it. Gay sex isn't healthy! No offence to the "gay" posters here, but according to the CDC 20% of gay men in the USA have HIV. Anyone who encourages you into that lifestyle is either a stupid or immoral person. Your "sexuality" probably isn't worth shortening your life and possibly losing your health.

    For some porn takes on a masochist form. For example, in the humiliation femdom scene, and this sort of thing leads to ever greater depravity in order to get stimulated. This genre actually progresses to forced bi, then gay sissies porn. It is literally about fucking with someone's mind and bending them in a perverse direction.
     
  15. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    I can understand why women are attracted to me but I can't see how they are attracted to other guys. So, I just ignore it and focus on the girls around me only.
     
  16. themadfapper

    themadfapper New Member

    @ Carlos.

    Everybody makes mistakes and has done things they are not proud of, and even if you don't consider it a mistake you don't have to share it with anyone. I don't know where you live or the people you deal with, but telling people about that may be a huge mistake! If a girl that you knew told you that she goes out and meets strange men that she has never met before and blows them you would probably think different of her [ and probably avoid kissing her, lol] and it's not something she is required to share with you.

    You mentioned "femdom" and that is something I can relate to, and as you mentioned it does have the whole forced-bi, sissies, turn gay fetish which seems to me to just be a progression of the humiliation fetish [ sickness]. I saw that whole thing for me as a sick masochist fetish for the taboo to do things that were harmful to myself. There are certainly feelings garnered from it, but I don't think any of them are really good, although the mind gets so fucked up it's hard to tell. What is a certainty is that the end result of that fetish [ sickness] is harmful, it's a destructive harmful vice.

    Regardless of what you believe about orientation [ I said some of my ideas about it in a previous post], I think we all agree no one has a natural "bitch" or "sissie" or submissive [ being used and abused by others] orientation! Any claim to this is bullshit! No animal would survive in the wild with a bitch orientation, and neither would you or I. No one was born to be a slave or submissive to another [ not talking about sex role]


    Going out and blowing strangers is not healthy physically[not sure what STD from blow jobs?] or emotionally. It's wrong and I think your body is telling you this through feelings of shame. This applies to gay or straight. It's not responsible to have sex with strangers in this day and age. If you ever get into bottoming [ which you think can't happen, but who is to say] that is the most dangerous kind of sex there is and is the #1 cause of HIV infection.


    I would implore you to stay away from fetishes, submissive type stuff, blowing guys and porn. I think we put too much emphasis on sex in this society, and I would recommend to stop thinking about it so much and stop focusing on it. Sex of any kind is addictive and gay or straight chasing ass all day can rob you of the joy of life as much as porn can. Get off the porn and sex so you can enjoy other things, find something you love and get into it, like Music, sports, science, study, etc.

    A quote from another poster here
    Things that are worthwhile and truly rewarding take effort and time. They are not quick effortless fixes like wanking or anonymous sex with strangers.



    @Mal Dreamer.

    Dude, I'm sorry for how "Christians" treated you. I grew up Christian[ I'm not one though] and found Christians were anything but Christ-like. Not trying to preach to you in any way, but just for the sake of being factual Christ and Christianity [ the New testament] most certainly does condemn homosexuality. What it doesn't condone is cruelty, being an asshole, mistreating people, hatred, and all these other things I'm sure you experienced from these "Christians".

    I didn't have the "misfortune" [ what I'm calling it] of growing up with a desire for men so I can't relate to you on that. I did however live and grow up around a huge gay community, and I've seen people "discover" they were gay through manipulation of others cause they wanted to fuck them.

    I also saw a ton of HIV infection and some of the worst hardcore sex addiction [ worse than porn wank addicts] I've ever seen. Extreme sexual addiction was a huge part of the gay scene along with extreme sexual depravity, I've seen things that people did out on the street in public!

    I believe it's in the mind, and after what I've seen I would never encourage anyone into that lifestyle. The way so many gays talk about "I'm gay" "it's who I am" it's like they think haveing sex is everything and it's who they are! You are far more than who you are attracted to, and I think this society and homosexuals, in particular, are too obsessed with sex. Chalk that up to too much free time, loose morals, television, television again, the media, the education system, etc.

    Not gonna hate on you, and sure as hell not attack you. You don't bother me [ not saying I don't want to be friends]and I won't bother you! Just mean that it's wrong to hurt someone who isn't hurting you or others. I honestly don't think I'm helping someone by encouraging them in their homosexuality, but I don't want you to feel bad or to be unhappy, and I also realise that like everyone you got your own mind and make your own decisions.

    Sorry for the lengthy reply, and double post [ don't know if that is allowed here?] I just wanted to make it clear I don't bear you guys any ill will, and just wanted to give you my advice however misguided it is as someone else who has suffered from what I consider depraved lusts.
     
  17. Iamahumanbeing

    Iamahumanbeing New Member

    It doesn't turn you gay, it just numbs your senses. At first I was a normal guy turned on by a women simply walking by me. Then porn destroyed that. I needed hotter women. Then multiple women. Then weirder sex acts. Soon no women would satisfy me. Then I started getting into some domination play, which hit another dopamine trigger. Then I got into female on female strap on sex, then female on male strapon sex, which hits an even wilder dopamine trigger. Then I got into shemale on female porn, then shemale on male porn. Soon I had fantasies about going down on a tranny, about letting one fuck me in the ass and cumming in my ass, and then multiple trannies fucking me in the ass and forcing me to give head, then dominating tranny porn......

    It wasn't a gay thing, it was just kinky and devious sexual thoughts. For a lot of us I think we fall toward the transexual and gay porn because those are extremely dominating genres, and most of our lives have been dominated: either by being abused, bullied, oztricizied or having shitty parents; all those things result in our lives being dominated by others and having no say in what we want or our feelings.

    I don't like men sexually and I'm not gay. I want to date a women and love to have sex with a girl and be with one, but I've been warped through porn to help cope with all the mental damage.
     

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