Please Gary can you help? Why am I back to flatline?

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by WillWolfrick, Jun 9, 2013.

  1. WillWolfrick

    WillWolfrick New Member

    Hi everyone,

    if you can help I really appreciate it and I also hope Gary is reading this and can help

    I'm rebooting for more than 8 months now and had 0 relapses. No porn nor orgasm for 8 months.

    When I started this journey even porn could no longer give me erections.

    In the 7th month my libido finally came back and it was present for the entire month, so I got really excited and decided it was time to go for sex. And I did it. And if was f*** amazing!

    Had a huge boner as I never did in the past and got really hard, everything was perfect! It was the happiest moment of my life! I thought I was recovered! I remember walking on the street with tears in my eyes thinking "This is it! I did it!!!!! I'm finally cured!!! After so long...I did it!".

    So I decided to not orgasm for one more week just to be sure that I wouldn't overwhelm my brain. In that week my libido got really really high and I had to struggle a lot to not orgasm in that period. I was fantasying a lot but thinking about the recent experience I had. It was virtually impossible to not fantasize as all my brain wanted was to have sex at that time.

    One week later I woke up feeling different. As I had arranged a date I went for sex again and...

    Nothing. Still could have orgasm, but a forced one. I had a mild erection, enough for penetration and no libido...

    And since libido is gone. Not only I'm back to flatline but also I feel like I'm back to day penis has shrank just as it did when I started this journey. When I felt I was back to normal my penis felt loose and bigger, but now it's shirking again....

    I look at women and feel a repulsive feeling! It's like when one eats a lot and feels sick just by smelling food.

    It has been almost 3 weeks since my last orgasm! I'm feeling depressed, sleeping all the time, no energy, nothing. Just a piece of meat that wants to sleep all day long...

    I thought that my libido would come back again after a few weeks, but it didn't. On top of that I don't feel like I'm getting better. My penis still is shirking, like it wants to hide itself.

    I'll go to a doctor but just as I did when I started this journey I believe the exams will come back fine again.

    ok...What I did wrong :-\??

    Was it wrong to have orgasm? Should I have waited more?

    Could it be that being in a high libido state for one week have destroyed all the progress I did? Was it wrong to fantasize? Should I have had an orgasm to lower my libido?

    I had libido for an entire month! I had sex as I never did in my entire life!!! I waited one week to not overwhelm my brain!!!!!!

    AND I'M BACK TO DAY 1!!!!!!!!!!




    As far as I know I did everything right!!! I don't watch porn anymore!!!! I was very healthy, exercising, socializing, learning music, taking cold showers, limited use of internet....EVERYTHING!!!!!!

    I know I did something wrong but I can't see what. Something happened in that week that I was craving sex, it feels like I have overwhelmed my brain by trying to not overwhelm it but this seems to be an absurd. Could it be that having high libido is actually bad for someone who's recovering from porn issues?! Now I'm stuck...for 3 weeks I look at women and feel sick!!

    It's like there's no escape from this porn trap!!

    Well....if there's some piece of information I'm lacking to know I ask you please to let me know. What I did wrong? Why my penis is now shrinking, my libido is gone, I'm depressed and for almost 3 weeks this haven't gone away?

    If you can help I really appreciate

    Tnx for reading
  2. WillWolfrick

    WillWolfrick New Member

    Yeah I was into this process, but when I would come back to flatline I was still feeling good. My libido would get lower but I was still good.

    Now something happened. I'm into a much stronger flatline just as I was when I started this journey and it's not getting better....

    This is freaking me out! :(
  3. GABE

    GABE Porn gave me a limp noodle

    Whats up Willwolfrick,

    -My libido started to come back around month 6 ish of my reboot, but only very slightly. I then O'd from oral sex. After the Orgasm I went back into a deep flatline for a few more weeks. Then slowly came out of it, went for vaginal sex, still couldn't get it up, but forced an erection through oral again. Back to a flatline. After about another month (now at month 9) the chance for sex presented itself and I instantly got 100% hard from the anticipation alone. I had a few O's through sex over the next few months very spread out. Mixed in with a lot of Karezza because I, like you, did not want to overstimulate my brain with the O. After a few more months passed probably around month 16 my refractory period was almost how it was when I was a teenager. I no longer went into a flatline after O's but I took it really slow and continued to see improvement in libido over the first year and a half of my reboot.

    Many guys report continued improvement in sex drive, refractory periods, erection strength, and the ability to become aroused for many months after they first feel "recovered". I could get 100% hard for sex before I could get hard to my hands touch alone.

    -Same thing happend to me, and happens to most guys who go in and out of flatlines. As time went by the flatlines became shorter in length for the most part. You are NOT back to day 1. Not at all. As long as you stay away from porn/porn fantasy you will continue to weaken those pathways. Moreover, since you had sex with a real person you have now pointed your brain in a new direction. As far as neural pathways are concerned you did not take a step back. The reason behind O's sending guys back into flatline is something we have yet to learn. You did not reinforce porn pathways and that is what is important.

    -Your libido came back once, after 7 months, I believe it will come back again. As long as there is tomorrow hope is alive man. When I went back into a flatline after 6 months it was a solid month before I felt anything again, and from the fact that you could not even get erect with porn anymore, your reboot "might" take a little longer. Just a guess though. No one can give you a solid reason for this, but know that this has happend to me and many others and eventually we came out of a flatline. However, it is important to note that I had steady interaction with a real girl during my reboot. Lots of kissing and cuddling, and hanging around girls. This all helped rewire me over the course of my 9 month reboot. So my suggestion is to wait a few more weeks/months, and if nothing happens, then actively pursue a loving partner.

    -No it was not "wrong", you felt you were cured and tried it out, nothing wrong with that reboot wise. This is a learning experience for everyone. Should you have waited more? I do not know, maybe, but there would have been no way for you to know that or anyone to know that.


    Probably, many guys have reported fantasizing sending them back into flatlines. We are not sure how fantasizing about real girls effects recovery. For younger guys it is probably to dangerous because the majority of what we have in our heads to think about is porn related.

    -No, a healthy man should not "have" to have an orgasm to lower libido. Orgasms usually tend to cause a chaser effect. My advice would be to hit the gym and use that energy on other healthy productive things, while your single ofcourse.

    -No you are not. You did not reinforce porn pathways. You are doing great my man. Keep trucking and stay as calm as possible. A lot of the negative thoughts you are having now are psychological, and being depressed about your dick not working, I understand that is a legit reason as Ive been there, but you have to keep hope alive man. I could not get an erection to touch alone until 15 months of no PM. I have continued to see improvement over the 2+ years no PM now. I think you will too.

    You saw great improvement at month 7, lets keep trucking along. Your story might help many young guys in the future who find themselves in the same spot.

    Hope this helps, much love
  4. I had an orgasm from sex just yesterday at my 55th day of no pmo and stimulation. I'm not sure if the same would happen to me, but I did feel excited about it.
  5. Roaring Tide

    Roaring Tide New Member

    I think GABE has given you a great answer and there's not much to add to it really - he's said it all already.

    The one thing I would add is to just acknowledge to yourself that this is your journey and it's going to be unique to you. We read other people's stories for inspiration and to get an idea of what to expect, but ultimately you are unique, which means your reboot will also be unique.

    I'm almost 40 and have had these challenges since I was 4 years old. A pretty long time.

    So I was surprised, to say the least, when I got hard just 25 days into my reboot and had amazing sex with my partner.

    Then I went back into flatline.

    Then, on day 39 I got the hardest boner I can remember ever having in my life and, again, we had amazing sex. Totally natural, totally in the moment and totally without any fantasy.

    Since then?

    I've been in a super flatline!. More so than I was prior to the other two times.

    Am I bothered? Not in the slightest, because I know my brain and my body are healing.

    It might take six months to get to a good place and it might even take 18 months . . . who knows, it could take 3 years?!

    It doesn't matter because my body and brain are healing and they will do so at the rate and pace that is appropriate to do so.

    When I cut myself I don't keep looking at the scab, willing it to hurry up. I just let my body do what it needs to do because it knows far better than me how to heal itself.

    You've done a great job so far and I'm sure you'll come out of this flatline even better than the previous ones.

    Keep it up - no pun intended ;) - and you'll enjoy great things :)
  6. Sizzler_89

    Sizzler_89 New Member

    I can relate. Been having vaginal sex with my gf for the past month and a half. Always had to manually finish though. Nonetheless, it was progress.

    Last night however, I couldn't stay all that hard. I mean, I could if I forced it I guess, but my libido was dead. Been this way for about a week. Recovery is not linear!

    Like myself and others you've come a long way. I couldn't get it up to porn either in the darkest days of this addiction and a year ago I couldn't imagine having vaginal sex any time in the near future. Guys like you and me will need longer. Stay positive and be thankful for of your progress!
  7. being normal again

    being normal again New Member

    Wow! Great progress and great answers.. I had the same questions in my mind and you guys blew my mind.
  8. alldonewiththat

    alldonewiththat New Member

    For Gabe and others who recovered: how do you decide when it's good to start orgasming?

    I started rebooting May 2012. This is my longest no O streak, it will be 90 days soon. Only one porn relapse in that time. Some orgasms from sex previously.
  9. Gary Wilson

    Gary Wilson Active Member

    Gabe really covered it well. Far better than I could. The flatline is quite mysterious.

    One observation: You said you arranged a date for sex. Do you have a regular girlfriend? I ask, because there is a misconception that rewiring to the real deal needs to involve sex. In other words, creating new pathways for any learned behavior involves repetition. That's why we see guys with girlfriends/boyfriends do better.

    In other words, sex has no magical powers to rewire. Occasional sex cannot compare to daily reinforcement.
  10. WillWolfrick

    WillWolfrick New Member

    Hey guys,

    Thanks a lot for the help and all the comments.

    Gabe, thank you a lot for your reply. You are my hero dude, not kidding. I've listened to your interview with Gary dozen of times and followed all of your suggestions to recover.

    I thought that after 9 months you could have sex regularly so when I found myself feeling really well at the 8 months mark I concluded I was back to normal. Clearly I wasn't....

    Maybe that's what I did wrong. I was overly confident, I should have taken slower steps. Much slower. I'll pay the price now...

    Well, reading your answer gave me hope again and I'm feeling much much better. I'll start doing again what I was doing and next time I'll take it super slow and acknowledging that flatline can come back at any time.

    Alldonewiththat, I certainly don't know the answer, but for what I've experienced I can tell you man, it's impossible to answer this question. You will have to try it out and see what happens.

    When I went for sex I had high libido for more than one month! An entire month that I talked with girls with boners and wanting to have sex with them. When I finally had sex my penis was hard from the moment I said "Hi" up to orgasm. At one point she said "It's really hard! I like that!". I was in heaven that day. And after orgasm it took just a few minutes for me to want to have sex again. After that my libido increased even higher for the next week.

    So I had all signals that I was back to normal. One week later....flatline...the strongest flatline I felt in this journey so far...

    Dear Master Gary,

    About the girl, she was not my girlfriend and even though I liked a lot meeting her I'm not in contact anymore. These past 3 weeks when I think about women I feel sick as my brain is saying "no more please! no mooooore!!!"

    To rewire I was socializing a lot, throwing some barbecues at home, attending courses and so on. I also had the opportunity to take some dancing classes which I think were wonderful. I went to a party where a very attractive girl taught me some moves. That was in my 7th month and I had a huge boner in front of almost 50 people watching us.

    I don't know if doing this is enough, I hope it is as I certainly wouldn't be able to date a girl knowing I can't have sex with her. I know there are girls that would be totally fine with that, the problem is actually me. I'd feel humiliated being in that situation, maybe because of everything I've lived so far...

    I really appreciate all the help guys,

    I wish you all the best,

  11. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Who knows maybe you need to stay in the high libido state for more then a few weeks before having sex.
  12. being normal again

    being normal again New Member

    Dude, I've experienced the same at the end of second month (I've met highspeed internet ata later age maybe that's why).. And stayed in that "the strongest flatline" up to this week.. Keep going, my libido is back, I started to have boners just by talking to girls.. But this time I will not spoil my reboot by having sex, I'll keep going for at least 5 more months.. Keep us updated with your own experience. Good luck
  13. abyss

    abyss Member

    hi all, just want give a pump to this thread, great advise for long flatliner

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