Absolutely Man. I suffer from OCD/anxiety and this relapses fucked me up real bad. Although, I realize that I am in a lot better situation than I was a year ago, I feel like I have lost everything. I'm just so upset on the fact that in last 15 months I couldn't go longer than 51 days. And the pattern of relapse - streak - feeling in control - doing drugs - relapse - has been same. I feel like I can not move on from this vicious cycle. Most probably this is happening because I have no partner, I don't know man. I was thinking about deleting this account but than I thought let's just continue, I will post every few days to keep myself accountable and not losing focus. Let's see how I do this time. Thank you for your response man. I really needed that.