PIED, THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN TO A MAN!

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Uncertain, Apr 26, 2020.

  1. Uncertain

    Uncertain Member

    Absolutely Man. I suffer from OCD/anxiety and this relapses fucked me up real bad. Although, I realize that I am in a lot better situation than I was a year ago, I feel like I have lost everything. I'm just so upset on the fact that in last 15 months I couldn't go longer than 51 days. And the pattern of relapse - streak - feeling in control - doing drugs - relapse - has been same. I feel like I can not move on from this vicious cycle.
    Most probably this is happening because I have no partner, I don't know man. I was thinking about deleting this account but than I thought let's just continue, I will post every few days to keep myself accountable and not losing focus. Let's see how I do this time. Thank you for your response man. I really needed that.
     
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  2. Uncertain

    Uncertain Member

    Day 2

    Getting back on the track again. One day at a time.
     
  3. Uncertain

    Uncertain Member

    Day 1
    Starts at 04:46PM 14.June.2020

    Relapse 6:- 2 MO, and 2 PMO in 12 hours!

    Total MO- 5
    Total PMO - 7
    In last 60 Days


    Here is a little story.
    Before 8th June, every thing was going great. And I was on 31st streak of No PMO and 99th streak of No smoking. On that day, in the evening I was really bored and decided to to do cannabis with my friends. When the thought came across my mind , I immediately called friend to come with me to buy cannabis from a dealer. ( Cannabis is illegal where I live) . When I was on my way to the dealer I thought to myself "what if I end up PMOing and smoking cigarettes after getting high?". I and two of my friends got high and had a decent time. After they were gone I was watching YouTube, a few minutes later I ended up searching something that I would never search while sober. That search lead me to porn and that was the end of my 30 days streak. After that nasty Relapse I went to sleep and woke up in the morning really depressed, I bought Cigarettes and started smoking. A day after that day I got drunk and smoked a hell lot of Cigarettes. I was just telling myself that I would make everything alright. But, man , as you can see, I was wrong. I ended up with multiple PMO and MO relapses and binge smoking cigarettes. This has been the very pattern of my relapses in last 15 fucking months.

    Today is 14th June, in this 7 days I MOed 3 times and PMOed 7 times, a total of 10 Orgasms and smoked Cigarettes like crazy and did Cannabis and alcohol .

    I'm done with all of these.
     
  4. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Well-Known Member

    Good luck getting back on track!

    Drugs should really be avoided during recovery especially the reboot. They lead to making impulsive decisions, cannabis makes a lot of people incredibly horny (me for example), and alcohol causes you to overestimate your abilites and lowers your estimation of risks.
     
    Uncertain likes this.
  5. Uncertain

    Uncertain Member

    Day 2

    One day at a time.
     
  6. Uncertain

    Uncertain Member

    Day 3

    Last night, I got high on marijuana with 3 of my friends. I smoked Cigarettes as well. To be honest I am smoking today as well. I'm planning to quit after I smoke the remaining Cigarettes. The good thing is that I didn't have any desire to look at porn or masturbate last night. Everything was absolutely in control. Now, that I look back and think of all my relapses while I was high, I feel like I let myself act out sexually based on my impulses rather than thinking and rationalizing my behavior. Cannabis or alcohol was not the problem, the problem was I made them an excuse to PMO . It's very possible to get high or drunk once in while to chill with friends and not relapse . Just because I'm quitting PMO, I don't really have to quit occasional recreational events with friends. If I let that belief that "if I use cannabis or alcohol, I will end up relapsing," stay in my head, it will be a huge mistake. I am still learning from my behavior and experience. My number one priority is to stay away from PMO, as long as I'm doing that successfully I should be ok. Life is amazing all the time. Even the struggle is fun if you take that as a challenge rather than as a burden.
     
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  7. Dee556pak

    Dee556pak New Member

    Yeah buddy! We are all together in this.
     
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  8. Uncertain

    Uncertain Member

    Day 5

    Finally, I am out of that rabbit hole. I'm getting back on the track and I'm feeling good about it. I have quitted smoking as well. I am feeling little bit of craving to smoke a cigarette but I can manage it. I'm planning to not do cannabis or alcohol for the rest of my life. I don't know how far I will go with that decision but I am having a thought like I have had enough of cannabis and alcohol and it's time to take a long break, at least for a year. I will see how I do with these things. My main focus is to stay away from PMO and Cigarettes.
     
  9. Uncertain

    Uncertain Member

    Day 6

    Just smoked 5 cigarettes. Feeling bad for smoking cigarettes after 2 days being smoke free. But there is no question of watching porn or to even masturbate.
    I will fix all these drug issues as well.
     
  10. Uncertain

    Uncertain Member

    Day 1
    Starts at 05:17PM 20.June.2020

    Relapse 7:- 2 PMO and 1 MO in 18 Hours!

    Total MO- 6
    Total PMO - 9
    In last 67 Days

    Today, I not only quit PMO but drugs as well.
    I will never get drunk, I
    will never get High on cannabis,
    and of course I will never smoke another Cigarette no matter what.

    I know this is a big commitment but this is what I really want. I will try my best to stay true to my words. I know this is not going to be easy, but this is not impossible. If I relapse I will try again. I will never give up.

    I'm addicted to PMO and Cigarettes.
    I am not addicted to cannabis or alcohol, but I don't really like to use them at all. Whenever I use them either I end up smoking cigarettes or Masturbate to porn.
    I am done with doing drugs. This attempt of mine is going to be the bestest one. I swear to mother Earth, I will not take any risk with my streak this time.

     
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2020
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  11. Battlesword1

    Battlesword1 Active Member

    Good on you mate to cut out so many things at once. I know they are interwoven issues, and you're gonna get hit with a whole slew of urges and biological responses. Stay the course. Build good habits! Trust and follow the process. We'll see you on the other side!
     
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  12. Uncertain

    Uncertain Member

    Day 2

    Thank you. Today was easy in spite of a few cravings to smoke a cigarette.
    Getting addicted to PMO as 12-13 year old is the worst thing that can happen to a human being. It's really bad. This porn thing is a huge public issue that very few people realize. I will get myself out of this. I have to.
     
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  13. Dee556pak

    Dee556pak New Member

    I come here everyday on this thread for some motivation and knowledge.. so we gotta do this for one another! Got to keep the grit to get out of this. We will one day!
     
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  14. Uncertain

    Uncertain Member

    Day 3

    We can do it. And we will win. One day we will be over this issue and enjoying our life free from all addictions.
     
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  15. Battlesword1

    Battlesword1 Active Member

    Same here! I always check in on these guys who post every day!
     
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  16. Joost

    Joost New Member

    How is that tree growing, you have planted? (refering to your profile pic.)
    Guess! You are a tree planted in the heart of God, He'll bring you to fruition through all your batshit. And porn is a real madmans maze.
     
    Uncertain likes this.
  17. Uncertain

    Uncertain Member

    The growth is slow but steady. I am being very careful this time around. And such support really helps. We will beat this.
     
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  18. Uncertain

    Uncertain Member

    Day 4

    Good News!
    I have completed 3 days without Drugs and PMO. They say first 3 days are the hardest! So basically I'm on a good start !

    Past couple of weeks, I have been out of my mind. It was as if I was a zombie who had no control over his mind. Quitting addictions like PMO and Cigarettes are not easy at all. But I have seen people getting back on life after being addicted to Meth and Cocaine. So, basically there is no limit to human potential. All we have to do is plan our days and realize that this suffering is temporary.

    I really want to thank you everyone one who is helping each other battling this horrible addiction. The worst part of this PMO addiction is that people get addicted to it when they are just kids. I sometimes feel like crying for loosing 13 years of my life not knowing what I was doing and what was wrong with me.

    People make it sound like porn is some Candy that can be enjoyed. Shit! One day everyone will know what this porn industry did to people.
     
  19. Dee556pak

    Dee556pak New Member

    I'm doing good so far on around 45th day of no PMO. But what I'm struggling with is my addiction of internet and smart phone again. It's like I can't control myself at all.. and this corona virus thing is making it worse, no gyms no other place to go.. so I feel compelled to use the phone as i don't know what to do and how to handle this.. my ability to focus is zero.. I can't concentrate for more than 15-20 minutes when I try to study. I know it's bad for me there is so much to achieve.. even after being aware I feel helpless. My brain is not my control when it comes to this
     
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  20. Uncertain

    Uncertain Member

    I can totally relate to you.
    This smartphone thing is a serious issue in today's world that many people don't realize what they are doing to their brains. The novelty machine is absolutely destroying our brain by over stimulating it. Constant entertainment and noise in our ears all the waking hours are rewiring our brain in a very negative way. Normal food seems boring, just reading a book is like a torture. I'm struggling with this issue as well. I understand your pain. Sometimes, I feel like trapped in it. My friends are like zombies, all they talk about is sex, drugs, girls , movies, tv serious and bullshit. So spending time with them is not making me feel good, on the other hand it's almost impossible to find people without all these issues. They think I'm becoming weird as I always try to stay away from all these shit. They are good but I just don't find any meaning in those activities. I'm going through a very difficult time. All I can tell you is that, everything will be fine one day. Just keep doing what you should be doing.
     
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