PIED still 115 days in? More than PIED?

BINGO. To a T. Same here.

She never told me she was BPD, actually I just discovered what BPD was when googling about the situation and she was a textbook BPD from start to finish. Given how scary accurate the descriptions were, I think it's fair to say she was absolutely a BPD.

The good news is we can avoid these types in the future. This one sucked the energy out of me to the point of a mental breakdown after only 3 weeks of crazy insane sex. That's how they hook you, their only redeeming quality is the crazy sex. Without it, we wouldn't put up with that insanity for more than a day or two.

 

Haha, yeah you dodged a bullet, but you will probably never forget the sex..

Remember one time where she started shouting at me for 30 minutes and later saying it was my fault for making her behave that way.
That completely blew my mind back then.
Last time she called me was to say I can pick up my stuff and it's over.
Then I just replied not necessary she can keep it and she started crying wanting us not to break up, but I was just done with it.
Later we just texted once and she said she was surprised that I didn't apologize and was upset that I'm not the one.

 

Update: I dated a few women recently and had successful sex and erections. I have learned something about sex and erections though. Too tight of a condom can kill your boner. I noticed I never had any issues with my custom fit perfect size condoms, but the few times I've forgot them and the woman uses hers, they are often too small and choke my dick and make me lose my hard on.

Other than that, things have been good. My only problem is I've been banging strippers for awhile now. I seem to have replaced a porn addiction with prostitutes. It stems back to my issues with depression and looking for a dopamine hit. I've concluded that these types of women only further the issues I always had with women by viewing them as porn (sex objects). It's not healthy. I need to stop it, but when I am depressed and lonely I occasionally end up banging multiple strippers in a single night.

I really want to try karezza with a woman I care about. And just getting her off. I am noticeably more stable mentally and healthy when abstaining from orgasm. When I lose my seed too many times I have a lot of the issues Marnia Robinson discusses in Cupid's Poisoned Arrow.

 

Yeah condoms are like shoes they don't fit everyone.
Regular condoms are also too tight for me.
I can recommend to use the messuring tool here to find out your width, basically just needs be printed out:
https://pro.mysize-condoms.com/find-your-mysize-condom-size/measuring-with-the-condom-guide

As many others have before I also went from porn addiction to sex addiction (escorts & casual dating) and that was even worse than porn addiction for me, because the consequences will be more serious. (money, living a double life, STDs etc.)
Main issue is that once you find a good woman, you will still have these urges to bang strippers, the intimate sex with her will make you feel good but is not a rush that can be compared to anomynous sex.

 

These are actually the condoms I am using. They are amazing. 60H is what I settled on.

Yeah I hear you. I am looking for those dopamine hits now that I healed my sexual dysfunction. I think that in my case, getting out in nature more and going on permanent semen retention may be the only way I can move forward without ending up back at the club. I have a mobile home and plan on doing some traveling soon. I would genuinely like to meet someone I have a connection with, but I now realize as soon as I am finished with almost any woman the only thing I want is... another woman to fuck. Maybe a combination of sex addiction and the coolidge effect. It's not healthy.

I also realize I am often using semen retention to just get a ridiculous amount of tension built up and then blow it on a woman. Like clockwork every month or two when I am on a long streak I end up meeting up with a woman, fucking her within the first few hours, and then losing interest until the next stint.

Yes, I hear you on the STD risk. When I am horny, especially if I smoke weed, I will do just about anything with zero regard for the dangers. Making out with strippers, no condom blowjobs, etc. It's beyond stupid.

I do believe that my decades long porn addiction led to me having a permanent thing for latin women. I am a tall white guy who exclusively dates/sleeps with short latinas. I live in south FL so it's not like I have to seek it out, I am just only attracted to these types of women. I don't know if it is the culture I live in or from watching latinas all those years on the screen. Either way, it's ingrained in my head and so serious that I genuinely do not find non latin women attractive. These types of women tend to be sexually open, very feminine and curvy. And you can find an endless supply of strippers down here that look just like this and will do anything for a small sum of money. It's a dangerous habit. Now I wonder if it's even possible to meet a woman who looks like that who I could connect with who is not a whore.

 

I've just gone through your whole story man. It makes me feel so much better. Even tho I'm only 12 days in your story proves that everyone can get out of this. In a couple of your blogs you said you're a beta man with a limp dick. That is not true. Your story tells me that you are way more of a man than those so called "alpha males". You went through shit that most of them couldn't. Yes you had moments when shit was fucked up but you never gave up. You inspire me man. I can only wish that some day everything down there will work like yours. Keep up the good stuff.

 

Thank you brother. Yes, my dick would get 0% hard after making out with a beautiful woman before I got on this journey. That is what sent me here. I now am often rock hard in anticipation, even on a date I sometimes get hard just thinking about what I'm going to do the woman later.

In fact, last date I was hard for HOURS. No ED drugs or anything like that either. Just anticipating fucking that thick brazilian I had taken on a date, and was kissing in my truck. I still have my share of issues but PIED is not one of them. The only time that's been an issue was due to condom restricting blood flow in my dick. With proper sized condoms, I am 100% now. I sometimes still use the ED meds if I plan on going multiple rounds but I absolutely do not need them and it's more of a cheat code than any sort of needed fix now. Rewiring is critical. Complete avoidance of PMO combined with gentle touching. kissing, etc, I think is what brought me back to life.

 

Hey guys, I've concluded I definitely suffer from premature ejaculation. Especially after a long nofap/retention streak. It's embarrassing, like a few seconds after penetration. About 10-15 minutes later I can go again and last basically as long as I want. But I am wondering if you all cum really quickly with a woman after a long streak? I don't have much sex, once every few months typically. Basically if I am only going one round it's going to be embarrassing. But if the girl sticks around I can turn into a sex god for the round 2 and 3. I wish I could extend round 1 out a lot longer, cuz legitimately 30 seconds of head or a few strokes I'm often done, especially if there's a lot of foreplay. Any way around this? I noticed I got a lot better when I started having regular sex a few months ago, so maybe it's just a lack of conditioning especially after long nofap streaks?

 

Hi gooby, I read your entire sortof-journal here. I have PIED real bad and identified with most of your story, and it's great to hear you can have real sex! Did you ever try quitting internet addiction by staying away from the internet for days or months? Have you really been free of P the entire time? It took me forever to quit P, but I have and I think I still have PIED. I forget what I was going to say here. Do you know what things you did to cure PIED and wire to real women?

Edit: I notice you wondered if you were a sex addict because you'd have sex with prostitutes. I don't know if that qualifies as sex addiction or not, but I don't recommend paid sex while recovering from P (or at all, really). I also don't know if you have PE, maybe, I'm not a sexpert and I don't know, but it sounds normal.