PIED still 115 days in? More than PIED?

I'm about 115 days into nofap. I am 28 years old and watched porn since I was 11. I was watching hours of porn per day for the last 5 or so years. Edging, you name it. Eventually, my erections to even porn started getting weaker. My arousal with women became ZERO. I could have a hot girl in front of me begging to fuck her and I had zero arousal.

Now, there is no question I wired myself to porn as a teen. I had very few sexual partners at all, and I was masturbating daily for years. Then, about 5 years go I started edging to porn and not ejaculating. Only ejaculating maybe once every month. I completely lost my morning wood probably when I was 20 or so.

After about 60 days things started turning around. I had occasional morning wood. With the help of cialis, I was able to get hard while kissing a girl I went on a date with. However, not long after everything went downhill again. Total "dead dick syndrome". A guy with a noticeably above average penis, and my flaccid size is completely dead, limp and has no feeling. This was not this bad when I was watching porn.

Just days prior I could get an extremely stiff erection while watching porn. Yet my dick was completely dead with a woman I was very attracted to. WTF?

Quitting absolutely made my already issues much worse. However, I have not gone back to porn. I believe I wired my brain and f'd myself up beyond belief.

I am concerned that I have more going on than just this. What if it's a medical problem? My blood work has always been relatively normal. I do have some health issues, and I have follow up blood work in a month. Is it really possible that after 4 months I could still have a totally dead dick 99% of the time? I woke up truly horny just once or twice in the last 4 months.

I did get covid bad about a month ago, so I think that stalled my progress. Either way, is it possible for a severe porn addict spanning into my early teen years that I could need much longer than 4 months to reboot? Should I stop worrying about how long this takes? I just don't want to waste too much time if it's a medical problem.

 

"Waste too much time if it's a medical problem"?

Nothing is preventing you from abstaining from porn and looking more into your health, concurrently.

I think you answered your own question here: "Just days prior I could get an extremely stiff erection while watching porn"

That wouldn't make sense if it were a medical issue.

You're on a very good roll being off porn for this long, don't look back now. Go onto yourbrainonporn.com - you will find many guys need much longer than 4 months, infact I say 4 months is very near the lower bound for expected recovery time.

 

I would say that for someone who started with high-speed internet porn very young and developed severe PIED, it's not only possible, it's expectable. I'm not telling you this to scare you, just to be honest and realistic, but it would almost be too good to be true that someone recovered from this after "just" 4 months.

It often gets worse before it gets better. And progress isn't linear. So yes, I think "stop worrying" is the best option you have. It's easer said than done, I know. But you're still only 28, you have a lot of time. Think about it this way: If you f***ed up your brain for 17 years with hardcore porn and hours of edging, how could you expect to recover from this within a few months?

If you want to get checked out by a doctor, do it. There could always be more than one factor. However, like @seer said, I don't see a medical problem go away miraculously within seconds just by turning on porn.

 

Thank you guys very much for the replies. I just needed some reassurance that this could take a long time given my severe case. Prior to quitting porn I was regularly talking with a few women who I would frequently masturbate with, rarely had any issue getting rock hard with them. So I definitely did not have ED when I was viewing porn or video chatting with women masturbating. Yet at the same time I was feeling zero arousal to women in real life, not that I had many opportunities, but even seeing a hot woman at the beach in a bikini would do nothing for me whatsoever. So if it really is a PIED problem then I have no issue continuing. I got worried because I was reading a lot of rebooters going from PIED to normal in 90 days and I can tell my case is not going to be anything like that.

 

"but even seeing a hot woman at the beach in a bikini would do nothing for me whatsoever"

I know how you feel, it's beyond frustrating and often a defeated feeling.

Imagine your libido is a balance scale.. Any time you watch porn you remove a weight from the 'real women' side and stack it on the already weighty 'artificial' side.

 

That makes a lot of sense. I've tipped the scales so far in favor of extreme porn and wired my brain in my critical developmental years to porn and not real women. I've only had a few encounters with women in the last 10 years.

It's no wonder I had a woman begging me to put it in her and cum inside her(not that I would have) in early May and I couldn't feel anything at all.. that is why I finally quit cold turkey and took this shit seriously. I have ED meds now for emergency situations, and they seem to only work if I am actually able to get aroused, so I don't know if they would have even worked then. But now I see it as a blessing that put me on this path that will hopefully fix my issues.

It's a tough spot because I know I need to rewire at some point, I will need a lot of intimate encounters with women so I can get my brain away from the idea that porn = real women, but I also don't have the drive or feelings to pursue them currently. So I think I need to just take more time and be patient. I'm glad to know some others took much longer than 4 months to rewire.

 

The 90 days is a somewhat arbitrary number that still comes from a time when the first men were talking about PIED on the internet. That must have been sometime in 2008 or 2009. These guys grew up without high-speed internet porn. They used magazines and VHS and used high-speed internet porn only for a few years. They didn't need that long to recover, so 90 days were probably a good estimation (altough arbitrary, because everybody is different). The same experiences aren't true for younger guys who started watching internet porn from a young age, many years before real sexual experiences.

 

This makes perfect sense. Thank you Luke. I wired myself hardcore to this crap and it's going to take time to undo the damage.

I also suffer from internet addiction I think as well, and aside from my job I am trying to get off of it as much as possible.

 

A few things I do to help with that..

#1 No screens in my bedroom. I don't allow myself to use my phone during the first or last hour of the day, during which I do a morning/night routine. Nothing crazy, my morning routine is simply.. Wake up, make the bed, shower, drink a large glass of water, 10 minute walk outside, write down what I need to get done for the day and then breakfast. No phone until I've 'looked after myself'.

#2 Every time I open my computer I write down on scrap paper the exact reasons I'm using it.. Email, messenger, study.

#3 I've turned my phone screen to greyscale. Realize some of the smartest people in the world dedicate themselves full time to developing algorithms trying to get you to use their apps. Color and sounds are a major method for this, I've disabled all notifications for social media. The important people in my life know to call me if they need my immediate attention.

These people know how to tap into our psyche, it's wise for us to have our own procedures to deal with this.

 

Thank you. I am incorporating these ideas.

Starting Oct. 1 I am taking a month off of work and eliminating all screens completely. I will see how that goes.

Now that I understand porn addiction is internet addiction, not sex addiction, I think the overarching theme here may be that I am not only a porn addict but an internet/gaming addict as well.

 

I've been having a real issue with wet dreams lately. I still have basically zero libido intraday and dead dick syndrome, but I am having frequent wet dreams. Whats the deal here? Doesn't make much sense. It's also obviously sending me into even worse flatlines with every wet dream, yet they keep happening. Frustrating. They are also often related to porn and sometimes involve hardcore stuff that I'd like to never think about again but it keeps happening.

 

For me the only things that help me not get wet dreams during longer streaks are:
1. No sexual arousal during the day. Fantasizing about something or looking up some non-nude pics on instagram or whatever can trigger the wet dreams.
2. Prayer.

I'm sorry it's taking this long and you're not finding healing for your ED, but with the history of edging you describe, it's not weird. Curing ED for me was not fixed by looking with lust at women, but through real connection. Why would you want to be turned on by unknown women in bikini on the beach? It's not like you'll be able to bang every chick you think is hot. That's a porn-type way of thinking. "She's hot, I'll click on her and she's all mine for my sexual pleasures". Sex is designed to be so much more than using a woman's body parts as your masturbatory toy.

It's much more wholesome if you find a woman and there's this mutual attraction between you and her. When there's some flirting going on and you can feel the buzz between the two of you. Then this arousal can help you chase after her and connect with her. Holding a hand, cuddling, kissing, having real talks. The things a man must do to conquer! These are the things that truly rewire your brain and feel great! Porn doesn't show nor teach you these things so it might take some time to figure out what your place in this is. But that's the beauty of it. Finding out who you are and then finding that woman that matches you well. Connection and trust is extremely rewarding and a good foundation for a healthy (sexual) relationship. Especially trust and a safe environment are absolute gamechangers when it comes to healing ED. Since it started as a porn problem but also becomes a fear-of-failure problem. Fear kills arousal, so trust is vital. If you can talk to your woman what you're going through and what you're afraid of, and she's supportive and understanding, then all weight just lifts of your shoulder and you can relax and go on the journey together. If you don't HAVE to perform, only fun exploration remains

I understand your views and goals might be different than mine. I just wanted you to have this information because it helped me and it might be valuable to you too. Best of luck in your journey!

 

Well said. I really wired myself with this toxic way of thinking through chronic porn use. I have very little real female intimate exposure, and thus it is definitely foreign to me. I agree with you entirely. I wired my brain and arousal to porn, am struggling now that I withdrew it, and scared shitless about my performance ability. I'm still confused why I felt pretty damn good for a month around month 3 then totally nuked back into a severe flatline. I think it was contracting covid and being very sick for a few weeks, maybe my body just needs lots of rest to recover from that.

It's a tough spot because I'm in a brutal flatline but also know that rewiring is eventually going to be mandatory. So you can't just hop into it and expect to be a flawless specimen around women when you basically have no experience and are dealing with flatline induced low libido, dead dick syndrome and depression. But on the other hand if you never even try, you may not rewire.

I am hoping that quitting electronic devices for October helps.

Thanks for the insight.

 

Covid can definitely have an effect on the body and can take a while to recover from, speaking from experience.

also; recovery is not lineair. It can sometimes feel like a broken record, looping a certain part over and over. But if you pay attention and listen a little closer, every loop it gets a little further.

The good part about your low libido / ED is that you don’t need it now. To be honest, you don’t need it ever. You’re not there for your dick, your dick is there for you. It’s a want, not a need. What gives you value and dignity other than your sexuality?

In stead of worrying wether it might work, just focus on your recovery. Do things you love, invest in yourself, accept that this is where you are now so it won’t drain you of energy. That doesn’t mean you’ll stay here. Meet some new people. You can have a cup of coffee with a girl without needing your dick

 

The wet dreams are out of control lately. I think I've had a total of 5 this week. Full blown orgasms with large amounts of cum. Has to be something with my brain rewiring. This didn't happen for about a year when my porn addiction got to its worst. Now I am having occasional morning wood and frequent wet dreams. They wipe me out for a day or two, but never anything even 10% as bad as an actual orgasm when I used to get off watching porn. Those would wipe me out for days at a time.

 

4 months is long enough to fully recover if you take false steps, so maybe must be wrong... For how long have you been struggling with this kind of ED?

 

Update

I’ve been getting morning wood most days now. My dick looks bigger flaccid overall. Occasionally it’s still tiny and shriveled up but this is much less often than before. I feel some signs of arousal and sensitivity mostly only in the middle of the night. Intraday my dick is still quite lifeless but the overall progress is undeniable. I’ve had some extremely stiff morning wood lately. I haven’t had this in a decade.
I also am more stable and happy overall. One issue is that I have nobody to rewire with currently. My mood and libido have been poor until recently and I have very few friends in my area so it’s a difficult thing to meet women who I can rewire with. My brain is so wired to internet porn that I know I’m going to need real intimacy to overcome this.

 

Forget about what just looking at women does for you. Keep trying to get as much real contact, physical and emotional, as you can.
It doesn't sound like a medical issue but you can get checked if you want.

 

Update:

Things are slooooowly getting better. It is painfully slow, but the progress is undeniable and I do believe I am a severe case.

I am getting morning wood about half of days. Sometimes rock hard. I never had this prior to quitting PMO.

I am getting wet dreamed very often. Sometimes every day for a few days in a row. Full blown orgasms. The consistency of the ejaculation seems thinner than normal, however. I find it somewhat strange that I can have no libido and a dead dick feeling during the day, then wake up with stiff wood and soaking wet from a wet dream. It seems as if my brain is healing while I'm asleep a lot better than while I'm awake. I suppose I don't have to engage my arousal system during the day, but while I'm asleep the brain can do it for me. I am not sure. I'd like to avoid them because they sap my energy for a few days.

My overall energy, mood, ability to socialize effortlessly has gotten much better. I feel more content with who I am. I am no longer entirely viewing women as sexual objects. Rather, I am seeing them for who they are. The first thing that pops into my mind isn't about bending them over and fucking them. I'm able to appreciate feminine beauty a lot easier and it doesn't entirely revolve around what's between their legs. I.e. just nice, long hair or a pretty face is engaging. I can engage in a conversation with a woman in a friendly manner and sex is not the only thing on my mind.

I am yo-yoing still in terms of my penis. Some days it's back to being shriveled up and tiny, then the next day full and hanging. I had months of dead dick syndrome and now that is only maybe 30% of the time. So that is progress. I believe my severe porn addiction/edging behavior/lack of real sexual partners puts me into the severe category and I am expecting potentially years to fully recover.

I no longer believe it is possible my penis is physically broken. If it were, I would not have full morning wood. I would not occasionally have a full erection when thinking of a girl(rare, but it has happened a few times). I without a doubt wired my brain to pornography and voyeurism.

I could not get an erection, even 1%, by hand when I started. Now, occasionally if I put some moisturizer on my penis, I start to get hard. This is without a doubt progress, but I don't like doing it because the stimulation is not good. So I generally try and avoid moisturizing for now.

I feel as if the world is becoming a lot brighter. The endless doom cloud that followed me around for so long, seems to be fading. It's still there sometimes, but my overall outlook on my future is drastically better than it was prior to quitting PMO. I am able to wake up after 8 hours of sleep and function. Before it was a struggle to do anything with less than 9 hours, and even then, I woke up feeling like a lifeless zombie.

I plan on taking a low dose of cialis if I get another sexual opportunity. My drive to get women has been low during this flatline. It is very slowly coming back now. When I am ready I'll probably have the ED med on hand if I feel like it's going to be difficult to get an erection. I know it's not necessary, but I don't want to deal with the humiliation of trying too early and having PIED. Even just one good sexual interaction and I think I'll be over the mental hump of being able to perform.

I am making an effort to have casual conversation with people when I can, and that is going very well.

I did have a coaching session with Noah Church a few months ago. It was very, very helpful. He seemed convinced I am a classic porn addiction case. It was nice talking with him and I may do it again sometime in the future. For now, strict avoidance of porn and just reinforcing healthy habits seems to be inching me forward... even if it feels like I'm moving at a snails pace.

 

Question for you guys-

I have an opportunity in the near future to have sex and do whatever I want with a very average, older woman who is really into me. Do you all think it's too early to be considering this? I don't have much libido.. I'm still in the flatline and although its slooowly getting better, I won't be shocked if I have PIED. Is it a bad idea to take cialis and have sex at this stage or should I continue both retaining my semen and trying to get out of this flatline?

The good news is that I don't care much about my performance with this woman, so it might give me an opportunity to try rewiring without much shame. But on the other hand I don't want to destroy my progress. Thoughts?

I can feel a rush just from the sexual texts the girl was sending me asking me to basically fuck her. I stopped after a bit as I feel like it's not good to be doing anything online like my old habits. I'll save it for in person, if I decide to.