PIED Recover Journal (100% Honesty)

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Aaron4, Sep 13, 2023.

  1. Aaron4

    Aaron4 New Member

    I will share my journey of PIED recovery with 100% honesty

    Physical health: born in 1996 (27yo). I exercise 3-4 times a week for the last 2 years (2 strength, 1-2 cardio). Diet, 16% body fat. I frequently (2/wk) experience hard MW, that I need to wait in the bathroom for half a minute before it can point downward. As a result, I highly suspect my ED to be psychological rather than physical.

    Porn consumption: I started watching porn at the age of 14 for 13 year total, I watch regular sex, threesomes, and Hentai, about 40min every 2 days. I dislike anything more hardcore.

    I first tried to have sex at the age of 25 with my long-term date, who has a very attractive body, I was very nervous, I could hear my own heartbeat, and I had no erection after taking off my pants. I tried again a week later, and the same thing happened. She never laughed at me, but because I was very ashamed and for some other reason, we broke up.

    I thought it was because of nervousness and my health. So I started consistent muscle training with 1 on 1 coach which is very expensive.

    6/2023 age 27, I dated the most beautiful woman that I could ever imagine. When we were making out (3 weeks in), she said she felt her body was very hot. But because I worry I couldn't perform. I gave up the opportunity for sex. 2 weeks later she broke up with me for another reason. It hurt me so much, more than even the death of a relative. I vowed to go all in on dating. I quit porn not because PIED, which I've yet to learn, but because I heard it would boost my attractiveness and testosterone.

    7/4/2023 completely quit P (porn), but not M (masturbation), JOURNEY STARTED.

    8/2023 3 weeks of no porn, I no longer crave porn. (easier than expected) But I still M by fantasizing, mostly about the previous girl.

    8/2023 I met a kind beautiful girl. We dated 3 times and I brought her to my bed. The first time we tried to have sex. I had Er(Erection) when we made out on the couch, however, I lost my Er on the way to the bedroom. She served me with her lip, I O (orgasm) before I even got to 20% Er. She was very nice to me and never laughed at it.

    I finally had the courage to recognize my problem and got prescribed some Cialis from some online MD.

    On a weekend trip, I consumed 20mg of Cialis. On the hotel bed, I had Er when we made out then had oral sex, I had only 80% Er, then she sat on me and we barely finished sex with only 80-->70% Er. That's the first time I discovered my problem: I experienced little pleasure, more like doing a gym exercise, I almost force myself to O because I'm afraid that I would lose Er before it. the morning 36 hrs later, she blew me again, however, I only have 60% Er and am unable to penetrate.

    I discussed a close friend, who told me that it could be PIED (he quit at age of 20 for this reason). And I called sick leave and studied it all day. I have no rule out physical problems. I booked a doctor's visit in late Oct, which is soonest by my insurance.

    9/2023 FLATLINE I quite M. However, I sometimes out of anxiety to test my Er, still M, and sometimes accidentally O. I started experiencing flatline. Not as severe as some described (complete no Er for months). I made a rule to not M between Wed to the weekend when I'm likely to meet her.

    9/2023 We had sex again, with only 10mg of Cialis, it was better than the first time where we started with oral sex, but still only 85 --> 80% Er while she sat on me. I only experience some pleasure, 70% of a good porn.

    I will keep updating my recovery progress. It usually takes 6-9 months to recover from most stories I've read, so I will be fully recovered next March! Keep up the Optimism!

    Take away:
    1. Don't rule out any causes. Treat PIED, go through physical exams, and exercise together.
    2. A small win is a win, and deserves celebration.
    3. It's totally fine to use ED pill. It builds confidence.
    4. Long-term porn consumption can be especially detrimental to a virgin, because he never trains with real sex or has confidence. Decades of learning having sex to hand and screen can make one have even more severe PIED (combined with performance anxiety). I recommend any virgin to quit porn regardless of any ED experience. Also, I always watch P while lying down, my Er drop when I try other position.
    5. There would be no true loss to quitting porn even if one doesn't succeed. I've never heard anyone regret not watching more porn. Let's be honest, you seen it all in the first year of watching.
  2. Aaron4

    Aaron4 New Member

    6. the typical recover period of 4-9month might seen very long at first glance, but put it in perspective of life time it isn't.
  3. Aaron4

    Aaron4 New Member

    7. be very gentle with M, use death grip while M will let your D got used to high pressure, and might no longer being able to hold the pressure without it once get used to.
  4. Aaron4

    Aaron4 New Member

    9/2023 The third lady, who is very kind and beautiful has distanced me, said she doesn't want a serious relationship right now, and doesn't want to commit or become exclusive. She is very calm while telling me this, so no trick. I'm back to be on my own now. I don't know if this has anything to do with my lame performance. I will just prepare for the worst and keep trying my hardest.
  5. Aaron4

    Aaron4 New Member

    * I also lose Er when I go from a lying down position to a kneeling position, PM might have a strong correlation with it as it is always done while sitting/lying down.

    Does anyone have any advice on this?
  6. Aaron4

    Aaron4 New Member

    8. Mentality:
    - I used to have an ideal future, which was to date about 2-3 women (9), then get married in my late 20s, have kids, and be happy ever since. I keep comparing reality to this and feel depressed because I'm nowhere near it. But now I realize life is about pragmatically pursuing the best life with many imperfections. Most of us don't have the ability or the luck to live a perfect life. My new mentality is to try my hardest and be grateful for what life gives me. If you are a middle-class American with good finances and some close friends, you are already doing better off than 80% of humans on the planet.
    - Go all in on dating and self-improvement. I would say this is as important if not more so than my job which I spent 40hr/wk on. It's not at all crazy to spend 16hr/wk on it.
    - If you are here like me in your late 20s, your starting point is low. Delete expectations, such as having a (9) virgin as your girlfriend and having an amazing intimate life. Those expectations are only completed for 3% of people without PIED problem. Instead, rejoice in every small improvements and small wins.
  7. Aaron4

    Aaron4 New Member

    9. An untested theory that I read from the forum:
    While having sex, focus on the girl instead of the % of your erection. It's normal to have Er fluctuation, but if you are too focused on it and when it drops a little, your anxiety might kill it very soon.
  8. Aaron4

    Aaron4 New Member

    i initially don't believe i will experience it, because most posts state that they enter this state few weeks in, and i have not experienced it until 2 months in.

    it is not just psychological, my body production changes too: I used too produce large amount of seman and can shoot it very far if i just not O for 2-3 days. but after entering the flatline, i only produce about 1/4 of that after a 6 days retention. (but it can also be because stress caused by the broke up?)

    im terrified and happy at the same time. terrified that i wont be able to have even OK sex for the next 3 months or so, but also happy that what they say is real, which means im likely to recover following their pass.
  9. Aaron4

    Aaron4 New Member

    9/22/2023 my 3 weeks flatline has start to fade.

    I'm glad and at same time ready for another flatline when it hit as many experience more than 1 wave
  10. Aaron4

    Aaron4 New Member

    To get over positional ED. I'm trying to M while Kneeling, and have been doing it for 2min/day for the past 3 days. I will update on it.
  11. Aaron4

    Aaron4 New Member

    I'm able to consistently M for at least 100 movement in kneeling position, sometime even up to 200 with touch alone, with just 4 days of practicing.

    Optimistic right now.
  12. Aaron4

    Aaron4 New Member

    I've been very busy with gym, work, and traveling last week. Haven't really done the practice.
    My desire is still lower than before, but can O good volume. So, I'm still in a light flatline. (flatlining for a month since early Sept.) I need to get back to dating.

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