PIED and Escorts

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by Smash, Apr 15, 2016.

  1. Smash

    Smash Member

    I’m 39 I’ve been using internet porn and visiting high class escorts as a way to deal with frustration and disappointments in dating and relationships. In my 20s it was mainly escorts more than porn. I was earning enough money to pay for what I needed. Some would say I have an enviable lifestyle although it is more isolated than most would care for.

    During my 30s the porn and escort use has increased and the real relationships have decreased. The internet porn use has increased a lot in recent years to the extend where it has become excessive.

    I’m not sure if its the increased use of porn that has affected my ability and desire to create and sustain relationships or if it is my inability to create and sustain relationships that has caused my increased addiction to porn. Maybe its both.

    At my age, and with my disappointing relationship history, I now consider escorts as my only reliable source of sex with a sufficiently attractive young woman. I have tried to control my use of escorts because I am mindful of how much I can afford to spend. Very good looking escorts are expensive.

    The sexual act has never been a problem before. It’s always been very natural with a girlfriend, one night stand or with an escort. My last girlfriend was two years ago and my performance was fine while I was interested. Many of my earlier experiences with escorts have been awesome.

    My internet porn use increased a lot in the last 6 - 8 years. The first thing I noticed was that it took me a long time to climax when I was with a girl/escort. I didn’t consider this a problem. Seven months ago I was with a very attractive escort but my erection went soft during penetration. I still managed to complete the act but the whole experience was not as enjoyable because I kept going soft. I experienced a loss of erection or inability to orgasm a few more times and I became concerned. When penetration and blow jobs didn't work, I often had to use my hand with a firm grip to climax, it was the only way.

    I thought it was something to do with the use of condoms or perhaps a loss of sensitivity caused by excessive masturbation, or maybe my age. I did not consider that viewing porn could be a contributing factor. I was with an exceptionally attractive escort two days ago and I was going soft! Again, I managed to complete the act but it was very annoying.

    I can get hard and orgasm several times using porn, but I have trouble staying hard with a real woman (escort) for one round of foreplay and sex. My erections are not as hard or satisfying as they used to be but I can sometimes masturbate and orgasm to porn several times even if my dick isn't fully hard which is another problem associated with porn addiction and porn induced erectile dysfunction.

    I considered porn as something to use when I didn't have the time or money to meet escorts. Now I cannot enjoy my sexual experiences with escorts like I used to. I have stopped using porn since I found out about PIED yesterday. I have an arrangement to another escort in a few days. I will see how this goes. I am considering trying Karezza Sex with her perhaps as a way to rewire. Really I just want to get hard and enjoy my experiences with escorts. And, I don't want to assume that any girl in real life won't be able to get me hard.

    If I quit porn will I get back to how I was in my 20s or are the escorts also part of the porn addiction? I'm happy to stop porn 100%. I can even arrange meetings with escorts without viewing the websites if I build trust with the high end agencies to understand my likes and dislikes and meet my requirements. But if I stopped porn and escorts then I would end up celibate, which is not my aim.
     
  2. DarkHorse23

    DarkHorse23 Guest

    Re: ED and Escorts

    (Increased)Porn is your problem, not escorts. Stop viewing porn and PMOing and you'll heal eventually.

    /thread
     
  3. Smash

    Smash Member

    Re: ED and Escorts

    Something that suggests an addiction to porn vs real sex is that I noticed an increase in time spent searching through escort websites and less time actually visiting them. Recently, before finding out about porn addictions, I asked myself "why am I always checking these websites but not arranging any appointments?" Now I realise that I was getting a dopamine hit from searching through pictures and statistics of girls without actually meeting them. So, if I am to continue to use escorts for "real sexual intercourse and foreplay" then I must be careful how I use the websites. I think I am going to have to trust the better agencies to make selections according to my tastes so that I can just make a call and not visit the websites at all! Visiting the websites, even if there is a genuine intention of booking a meeting, is inviting a relapse. I am also wondering if it is possible or helpful for me to try Karezza sex with an escort? I have a pre-booked appointment for Monday that I booked before I found out about porn addiction and PIED.

    Regarding my abstinence from porn, it's only been 3 days but I actually feel good about this already. I really do not want to resume use of pornography for stimulation after what I've learned. I already feel so much more positive about myself because I can see how porn addiction has affected my life and my outlook and my attitude to girls and relationships. I already notice that I've reached out to friends for social contact since, and usually I only responded to people contacting me. I actually think that if I can stop using porn and resume normal sexual functioning then I might be able to feel excited about relating to women again.
     
  4. DarkHorse23

    DarkHorse23 Guest

    Re: ED and Escorts

    Yeah I'd suggest if you're going go the escort route, only research/read up on them if you're going actually set up an appointment. I was doing the same thing and realized I needed to stop and only visit the sites if I was GENUINELY planning $100-300 to see a girl. I'm planning on rewiring with a working girl and I've done my hw, know her prices and have her email address and have no reason to research on other escort until after I'm completely healed. Rewiring with one girl( regardless of its your GF or an escort) seem to work the best.
     
  5. DarkHorse23

    DarkHorse23 Guest

    Re: ED and Escorts

    I respect your opinion but I don't agree. Porn and Escorts are not similar. One is a image, video on a computer screen. The other is a flesh and blood human being. Porn has no limits or boundaries. Escorts do, because they are human beings. I've only been with 1 escort in my lifetime and granted my experience wasn't what I hoped for, I never looked at her as less than. I never saw her as a sex object, I conversed with her before our session and after like she was an old friend. I know we will all have different opinions on escorts but I see them as a good short term alternative if dating is off the table for a while.
     
  6. KingJames

    KingJames Member

    Re: ED and Escorts

    Agreed. Porn is the problem. Weather it's with a gf or an escort, I don't see how sex with an actual real life female is in anyway a problem.
     
  7. Smash

    Smash Member

    Re: ED and Escorts

    Thanks for all your comments. Very helpful.

    So, it seems I used an escort addiction as a way to cope with my relationship frustrations. And due to concerns over the cost of escorts, I developed porn addiction to manage my escort addiction. The end result is PIED and other associated negative consequences of porn addiction.

    Obviously escorts and porn have similarities, just as heroin addictions and porn addictions have similarities. They are all addictions. I am using one addiction to deal with another, thereby not confronting the actual cause of my addictions. However, my complaint at this point is not addictions, it is ED and more specifically PIED.

    If using escorts whilst abstaining from porn resets my body and brain and resolves my ED, that's a huge positive achievement.

    Meanwhile, I will deal with my escort addiction. Ultimately it means that I have to fix my social life and have relationships with women... and this is really what I am using my addictions to avoid.

    One step at a time. Solving my ED and giving up porn is a necessary precursor to having healthy social relationships and enjoying normal interactions with females.
     
  8. Smash

    Smash Member

    Re: ED and Escorts

    I've never had any success with dating sites.
     
  9. Smash

    Smash Member

    Re: ED and Escorts

    I was affected by difficultly in my relationships during my teens and twenties. It's all been a bit weird since then. I've been distracted by escorts and porn I guess. I'm not very actively social anymore, I don't do much to maintain friendships. I don't show up on social media. I've focused more on work. I was the ideal victim for porn addiction which has compounded the issues I've mentioned, making me more isolated and making me less motivated to make an effort with women. I'm hoping this will naturally change when I've had enough time away from porn. From what I've read, porn has contributed heavily to this situation.

    But I'm no average guy. I live on the fringes of a major capital city, I have a large luxury flat all to myself which is quite an outstanding pad. I own my own business, I have above average income. I own some real estate. I do a lot of reading, personal development and self-inquiry. I eat well. I have worked out on-and-off since age 18 and I've always maintained a very good physique most of the time. I am obsessed with mens fashion and I buy good clothes, I live in a very stylish city. And I have to stay well groomed for daily business. However, I'm very short and bald and I guess I'm therefore not very good looking. I'm probably more attractive in person and in conversation but on an app I'm certainly not. Being below a certain height seems to be a barrier to getting seen online. Plus, due to my age, I didn't grow up learning the language and methods of online socialising so it doesn't feel natural.
     
  10. DarkHorse23

    DarkHorse23 Guest

    Re: ED and Escorts

    If there is pre established rules, then you're not 100% in control. The Escort is in control because she decides the price, and what she will and won't do. An Escort is still a woman, in charge of her body. Porn and an Escort is not synonymous in my opinion.

    And so what if I am? Men objectify women, and women objectify men. Both genders do it. Some of you guys on this forum need to stop playing the "woe is women" card. The biggest problem is majority of you guys don't truly understand a woman's TRUE sexual nature. When a woman selects a man she not looking at his personality, ambition or sense of humor(and she could care less about hs favorite movies or his horoscope). She's looking at his face, height, body built, clothes, and shoes and even his dick print. Women are actually more superficial than men. A man will deal with an unattractive woman if she's cooperative, the average woman would rather be single though than deal with an unattractive man. So based on the reality that a woman in her teens and 20's isn't judging me based on my personality or ambition but instead on my muscles and shoes, i see no problem with me or OP browsing escort ads looking for a companion that fits our physical criteria.

    I guess at the end of the day, we can just agree to disagree. Some of you guys will wake up one day. Hopefully.

    At the end of day GF> Escorts > PMO
     
  11. DarkHorse23

    DarkHorse23 Guest

    Re: ED and Escorts

    how tall are you?
     
  12. Smash

    Smash Member

    Re: ED and Escorts

    You are right Sticky. Although I'm not interested in imports!

    Because of the porn overdose, I know that most girls won't get me sufficiently aroused so I'll say "what's the point" and I don't even bother. I hope that refraining from PMO will eventually cause me to feel more attraction and motivation. Hopefully I'll relate to women more realistically.

    However, I do feel much better already. I've not looked at porn or touched my dick for 4 whole days and I performed ok with an escort. I was stiff without touch and then I came in her mouth then came again during sex with a condom, all within about 40 minutes. I couldn't go again though. It flopped. I used to have more energy to destroy pussy but it also depends on the attractiveness of the girl. I know that the longer I refrain from PMO, the more I'll get back to my natural sexual functioning. I'm not looking back now.

    So I guess I need to find some real girlfriends, I know you're right. But I need to digest my poor relationship history in order to move on. It's like learning to walk for the first time. I've never had a long term. I may need some coaching because I can't do this online thing, however most of the people advertising this are just pua jerks in disguise.. even some of the female ones. And I've unconsciously developed those MGTOW beliefs. When I read the definition of MGTOW, I realise that sadly I do share those opinions. I'm not sure if this way of life reflects real hard truths about modern life or if it's just a defence mechanism against feeling vulnerable.
     
  13. Smash

    Smash Member

    Re: ED and Escorts

    157-160
     
  14. Smash

    Smash Member

    Re: ED and Escorts

    Nearly 7 days PMO free. This is strange but I feel good. Not sure when to next try having sex. Not too worried about ED based upon my last experience a couple of days ago, as long as I can keep away from PMO. Concerned about flatline, that sounds scary, I hope that doesn't happen to me but how can I know unless I try to fuck? Concerned about escort dependency and the cost. I also haven't looked at any escort sites either. I might have to just stick to one hot girl that I saw recently and just call so I don't have to visit the website. Looking at those websites will be dangerous it would cause a relapse I'm sure. If I do have to look at the escort websites to make a booking then I'll do it standing in the middle of a public place on a phone or tablet just to get the info I need so there's no chance of relapse! Checking back to this forum is really helping because it replaces my porn browsing habit with this behaviour.
     
  15. Smash

    Smash Member

    Re: ED and Escorts

    Experiencing brain fog last 2 days. Not sure if it's to do with coffee or because of PMO withdrawal. I have no desire to PMO. But I do have a strong urge to be with a woman and I keep thinking about when I'll have next have a meeting with an escort, I want to stick with the same girl as this seems to be more advisable. However, I feel low energy and brain fog so I'm waiting for this to pass.
     
  16. lylemcd

    lylemcd Member

    Re: ED and Escorts

    quit porn
    real girls are better than screen,
     
  17. lylemcd

    lylemcd Member

    Re: ED and Escorts

    cm? so 5'3ish?
     
  18. Smash

    Smash Member

    Re: ED and Escorts

    Yeah, short. I'm a small man! I feel ok about it in real life but online it's a real limitation because I know girls filter or exclude guys below a certain height. In real life I can make up for it because I've got a bit of class charm and charisma, except the years of PMO turned me into a fuckin zombie recently.
     
  19. Smash

    Smash Member

    Re: ED and Escorts

    I'm now on day 9 of no porn, no masturbation. Not interested in looking at porn. I was feeling so horny today... Could not stop thinking about the escort I fucked last week. Contacted the agency and she's away for almost a week. I wanted to stick to one girl because its better for the rewire. More natural without the dopamine buzz, the uncertainty and the excitement of a different hottie every time.

    Had to look at the escort websites to find another girl, tempting a relapse, but checked the websites a few times in public so I could not touch my dick or fap. Made a booking, had an amazing time. My performance was good, not as solid rock as I remember I once was, but good enough, no problems. Bust my nuts a couple of times, no severely delayed ejaculation but had to work hard the second time.

    I still don't get morning wood. I don't think I've had regular MW for years.

    I experienced weak erections every time I tried to have sex and was confused and miserable. So... 9 days ago I had seen an escort and again experienced weak (up and down) erections but managed to perform to completion because she was such a babe and so nice.. Afterwards I googled and found YBOP.com and decided quit PMO immediately. Since then, on day 4, I saw another escort, and then another different girl today on day 9.

    I am clearly using these addictions interchangeably (porn/escorts) and I've replaced my porn addiction with an escort addiction. I'd rather be wired to real girls than pixels, and save myself from PIED, but I can see that use of escorts could become an expensive unmanageable habit, particularly if PMO is not an option!

    I don't do anything freaky with the escorts, nothing weird, because it's not my thing and also because I want to abstain from the dopamine inducing novelty of freaky shit. That's why I also want to try to stick to one girl if possible, not a different girl every time. The reason I say this is because I want to mimic a real relationship so that I don't develop a problem where I can't get hard with a normal girlfriend.

    I feel amazing though, no flatline at the moment, erections improving, no porn, no masturbation, I feel more confident. I've only orgasmed with a girl, and not with my hand. Will my morning wood come back?

    I might ask a girl out because I got her number a while back and didn't call but I bumped into her randomly when I was out last night and she seemed pleased to see me so... I'll drop a text tomorrow. Maybe there will be opportunities that I can be open to... because this escort addiction will deplete my bank balance.
     
  20. DarkHorse23

    DarkHorse23 Guest

    Re: ED and Escorts

    @Smash

    Meeting with with my escort this saturday for the first time. Going spend 2 hours with her. Any advice?
     

Share This Page