People who take but leave nothing in return on this forum

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Doper, Oct 5, 2021.

  1. Doper

    Doper Well-Known Member

    I've seen a trend where users will choose to leave the forum, and just delete all their threads. If I post something in your thread, I didn't post it just to help you, I put in that time and effort to help anyone who might be helped by reading it, not just YOU. So if you just choose on a whim to delete all your threads, well that kind of destroys the entire point of having this community, not to mention the search bar. I can't imagine others that put more effort in than saying "good luck" or the like, don't feel the same way.

    It's akin to being in a jungle tribe where the whole group pitches in to build each others' houses, and then one of the families chooses to leave the tribe and they figure they'll just light their house on fire, so no one else in the tribe can use it.

    If you want to delete (or better yet just modify) certain parts of your journal or threads that YOU wrote, fine, I absolutely can understand. But when it's not just your content that gets deleted, I have an issue with that. I don't know how others feel about this, but it certainly makes me not want to post in other peoples' journals or threads, and that's kind of the point of a forum, isn't it?
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2021
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  2. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    I also find this a little weird. Older journals are often full of wisdom and great inspirations. People have long since left this forum, but their old posts are still helpful.

    It's all anonymous anyway. Even if in 10 years some guy finds this forum and thinks "Man, that dude with the Lucky Luke profile picture wrote a whole lot of bs", why should I care?
  3. Youngfella2

    Youngfella2 New Member

    Thank you for this thread guys.

    I was actually one of those guys that was intending to delete my old posts (I posted as Youngfella before, made a new account since it seems I deleted the email for that account at some point in the past and couldn't sign in anymore. But well, I get a fresh start this way). Was just thinking that if I'm not using it anymore, might as well delete my account and my posts along side with it. But this what you wrote, Luke (jeez, what a coincidence regarding my avatar :D): "Older journals are often full of wisdom and great inspirations. People have long since left this forum, but their old posts are still helpful." That was beautifully said, and I sure hope so that my previous journals, threads and posts have helped people here in this forum after I've been gone, even if I don't know about it for sure. So I'm gonna leave them here because well, you never know and if they help even one guy/girl, then it's worth it.

    I haven't been here since 2020 but well, I want to make a new attempt at this again. I didn't mind porn for the couple of last years, but lately I have found new direction in my life and now it seems like a good time to try this again too. Guess you could say I found hope again.
  4. Bilbo

    Bilbo New Member

    Hey guys,

    Bilbo here. Curiosity and idleness made me come back on the forum to have a look a few days ago, and I saw this thread. I took a few days to think about it, and I decided to log back in to explain the reasons why I deleted my journal and my other threads. I don’t know if it will make sense to you, Doper, you seem really angry about it. I’ll still try to explain my point of view, because I think it’s sad that my interactions with the members of this forum end like this.

    There’s a very important point to consider: rebooting didn’t work for me. I didn’t manage to cure my ED, and the progress I made was very minor. Of course, one can argue I should go hard mode for longer periods, and I understand that. Still, I’ve been away from porn and masturbation for 18 months, and that includes two hard mode streaks, and I still have ED. Over time, people started telling me that my problem was in my head, or that PIED was not curable, or that only complete abstinence would work for me, and other contradictory things as well. I’m not bitter about it, I’m grateful about all the advice I received here! But my thread became somewhat of a mess. I’m sad about it, I really had hopes about rebooting and curing my ED. It didn’t work. In that sense, it’s clear to me that my thread couldn’t be helpful to anyone. On the contrary, my thread would make newcomers doubt the process. I don’t want to serve as a negative example on this forum, and I don’t want to discourage guys who might think, reading my journal, that PIED is not curable. That’s why I deleted my threads. I don’t think YBR needs stories like mine, which don’t end happily. I didn’t burn my house: I didn’t manage to build one in the first place. I might be wrong, but that's why I acted the way I did. I didn't do it on a whim: I did it for that reason.

    That being said, I understand your point. I’m sorry that I deleted your posts, and the posts of all the guys who contributed to my journal. I can’t think of anything else to say about this… I’m sorry, and I hope it won’t change the way you see the forum, and your participation on it. I’m sure you already have helped many guys, and will continue to inspire many others in the future.
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  5. SmithSmithy

    SmithSmithy Member


    I do not know you, but I don't think saying you had nothing to contribute is fair. This is all opinion, and I mean no harm.

    I was not active much during your hayday, but I think the goal of this forum is to help people build the life they want given their current self and their current circumstances. A path ahead of you at the time was leaving porn and masturbation in hopes of curing ED (Or at least one of the reasons - I do not know your story and apologies for any assumptions). It has not worked, but you had no way of knowing that at the time you started here. You still went for it, and (you have or you will) find another path forward/find your peace. You built/are building a house for how to live regardless of ED.

    Please let me know if you want me to delete this part Bilbo, but I found a copy of your journal from around February 2021. I could not message you privately, so leaving it here. It is still your choice to make if you want it this accessible or not, I just didnt have a way to contact you.
    Only pages 1,5, and 6 are here for some reason
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2021
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  6. GokuSSB_XMAXX

    GokuSSB_XMAXX Member

    Hey Bilbo,

    I don't know if you remember me. I just wanted to say that staying away from P for 18 months is a huge success. The reason it didn't cure your ED is because staying away from PMO is only half of the process. Staying away from porn means you are not adding more damage to your mind and soul and your ED won't get worse. The other half of the "rebooting" or the recovery process is almost never discussed because it is probably unknown and that is actively fixing what you have already damaged. What are the exact steps to do it? No one knows. I just know that there is a better way that we haven't discovered, yet.

    What you did was selfish, to be honest. I had been checking your journal regularly before you deleted it and I saw that Doper and DoneAtlast and may others were putting a lot of effort in their replies.

    Staying away from PMO helps to some extent. As I said, it doesn't cure you completely, but if you go back to porn you'll be a 1000 times worse. "Rebooting" is all what we have for now till we find a better way.
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2021
  7. GokuSSB_XMAXX

    GokuSSB_XMAXX Member

    Doper, I know you probably left the forum. I have sent you a PM. Please, check it out, if you see this comment.
  8. Doper

    Doper Well-Known Member

    Bilbo, this wasn't specifically about you. You were just kind of the final straw for me seeing this a number of times. It makes no sense to me, if everyone deleted their threads when they leave, then there would be nothing to search, the forum wouldn't exist, and no one would know about PIED. A truly dark and dead universe. This forum is small already, we don't need prominent posters deleting their shit. My original post in this thread reads a bit nuts like I think I'm some kind of beacon of information, that's not how I meant it. Anyway, you are wrong. You didn't fail. You've stayed away from porn. That is the prime goal of the forum-goers. I mean fuck man, I'm on day 7. Who's an inspiration? Who's the failure? .... I believe you are underestimating to an extreme degree how you are regarded here, and the inspiration you offer - to me - day 7 guy. Burying the story of the dude that prevailed in spite of adversity? ... No, we got half-way through the book and Bilbo and the dwarves are stuck in that Godforsaken forest, the path is long-gone, but we have resolved to find it. That is what dealing with complex health issues is like. But the rest of the book ain't written yet. If you are still not happy with your situation, you have to go to the ends of the earth to find the answer. You can't give up, man. It's soul crushing work but the answers are out there. I've surely been there. If you ever choose to come back we're all here to help, my friend.

    We are here to gather data points, not silence the tales we don't want to hear or burn the books they're written in. I actually wondered why you didn't write a success story before you left. When you came here you were seemingly very depressed, things weren't going well, and in the end your shit worked better, you were enjoying your intimacy with your woman, your job sounded like it was taking off etc.... how is that not movement in the right direction?
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  9. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member


    Bilbo, you were one of the most helpful and inspirational users on YBR since I joined this forum. And I'm not just saying that, I really mean it. Don't sell yourself short. I hope everything is fine with you.
    Doper and Bilbo like this.
  10. Bilbo

    Bilbo New Member

    Thanks for the kind words, guys. I'm glad we could explain our point of views to each other. What you said makes sense to me, even if I see things a bit differently. It was a good idea to log back in and have this discussion with you.
  11. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Well-Known Member

    Hello guys I'm an old one here. And will never delete my posts. I am doing semen retention now and on day 11 and will forever be thankful to this website
    GokuSSB_XMAXX likes this.
  12. GokuSSB_XMAXX

    GokuSSB_XMAXX Member

    Wow, nice to see you're still on the forum, mikey. You were like on day 700. What happened?

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