Pedigree 10 Years On

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Pedigree, Jun 17, 2022.

  1. Pedigree

    Pedigree Active Member

    I do not wish to call what I am about to write a success story but just a bunch of points I want to talk about some 10 years since I first joined YBR.

    This was me 10 years go: unemployed, single, just graduated from university with no clue what I'm about to do, reaching a low, not so-good relationships with my parents, and joining YBR after a record 11 PMO in a single day.

    This is me now: work that allows me to work from home, married for 7 years with a 6 year old kid starting primary school next school year, have a good relationship with my Dad and have just decided to kept my distance from my Narcisstic Personality Disorder Mom, and completed a master's degree.

    How did I go from 10 years ago to now:
    -I figured out pretty early on that going on streaks of not watching porn and/or masturbating, flatlining, getting erections that were harder when compared to before rebooting was just a starting point. For me I was really PMOing because I couldn't handle the fact that I need to sort out my life (I'm still far from sorting it out) and that PMOing was an outlet at a time when my parents were going through a divorce.

    -Going on no PMO streaks doesn't solve my life problems, it actually reveals them. It reveals them because rather than "running away" and PMOing, now you have to acknowledge that these problems exist. The first streak I ran was 74 days without PMO. I relapsed because all I did was not PMO but I was still doing zilch about my life.

    -So I started not PMOing while addressing the various issues that I have. After a while I started to feel like I'm starting to chip away at these various issues.

    -At the same time, I'm still relapsing. On average every 2-3 months I'm still relapsing. Does it mean I've failed? Only if I then go on to binge and spend the rest of the day jacking off to porn. I needed some time but I taught myself to be more forgiving towards myself. I told myself the aim of not PMOing, at least for me, is not to never PMO until the end of time. The aim of not PMOing is putting something that's distracting me to one side so that I can go about my life.

    -Eventually I got to a point where if I relapse or if I PMO or MO, it's not the end of the world because I know I'm making progress in my real life and these no PMO/MO streaks aren't the only things happening in my life.

    -My contemporaries at the time when I regularly posted in these forums, the ones who relapsed and then proceeded to binge rinse and repeat, are those with not a whole lot happening in their lives. The ones that are trying to build their lives handle relapses better and just move on. Just continue chipping away at your life and you will start generating your own momentum.

    -In my case, I became busy. If we are talking strictly about not PMOing or relapsing, I was getting to a point where I just didn't have the time to relapse. And if I did have the occasional time or opportunity to relapse, I don't have the time to binge and continue to relapse because there were other things happening. Because I work from home, I double as a stay at home Dad.

    Have I "relapsed"? Yes. Maybe 20% of the time. The rest of the time, when I have spare time, I try to do my work if I've fallen behind schedule or get some rest.

    -There are also practical considerations as well. PMOing drains energy and though it took some time, I eventually hit a point where I regularly say to myself "I'm better off trying to work through my problems than PMOing."

    -I can't say it enough that if no PMO, no MO, "my erections are harder than before", "girls are noticing me", "I got laid" are the only things you've got, things will not be sustainable. Eventually you'll be overwhelmed by the stuff that you still have to do, issues you have to address, problems you have to solve and then PMOing will become the attractive choice.

    -Doesn't mean that you shouldn't go out to get laid. What I mean is, go get that job you've always wanted, get another degree, pursue a new hobby, fix relationships, and address issues as well while you're at it.

    -I posted regularly in this thread maybe for 12-15 months. After 15 months my presence began to decrease until I reached my current stage where I only drop it once every year. The reason is that once I start to make visible progress in my life, it becomes redundant to continue counting how many days since your last PMO and it becomes redundant to come in and post about progress and setbacks.

    -It's a bittersweet moment, at least for me, when I realized that I've begun to cut back my presence in the forum. On the one hand, it means I'm progressing. On the other hand, I have made many friends on the forum among them tsmith1302, ModusVivendi, JP, CidGuerrero, Chammorrow, Dragus, Cleanhands and of course Underdog.

    -I hope this will be of some help for whoever's reading this.
     
    UK Don, Libertad and Thelongwayhome27 like this.

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