First of all, I really appreciate this forum and the website connected to it. I have been searching a bit for sources which treated internet porn addiction compassionately and directly without moralizing one way or another. So thank you. So about myself. I am a male, 43 years of age. I have probably been using the internet for porn a little over 20 years. I would certainly say that it has affected my relationships I've had with women I've been sexually and lovingly involved with. That has included a few short term relationships of about 1-3 years but also a ten year marriage. I couldn't really say whether porn was a cause or a symptom of some of the problems I've had but I've definitely had issues regarding emotionally connecting to partners and certainly using porn served to reinforce this issues. What's interesting is that I do really have some very positive female relationships. In fact, I tend to have an easier time forming friendships with women than men. Given all that, I feel much of my use of internet porn is not terribly sexual in nature. It's more easy pleasure stimulus in nature. It's very accessible, its conforms to expectations so I know what I'm getting out of it, and it gives me some, however fleeting, bit of pleasure. Although it is also all too clear to me that I am getting less and less satisfaction and enjoyment whenever I engage in internet porn and often there is just a sense of relief that I'm done with the whole thing. So that fact that a few days later, maybe up to 5-6 days later I do it again even though I know I'll just feel disgusted, is mentally draining. It leaves me with the sense that I have no control and that this is perhaps how it is going to be for me and that feeling causes me to oscillate between despair and frustration. It all seems very crazy and meaningless to me. So my goals for a rebooting period of 60 days is at least three-fold: 1 - to be able to stop feeling like I lack control, that I lack freedom, and to stop feeling this sense of meaninglessness and to start feeling confident, joyful, and healthy. 2 - to be able to simply look upon women around me, whether they are close to me or strangers, without this lens of exaggerated sexuality which isn't loving and is often unkind. 3 - to be able to not support an industry which is based upon engaging such intense addictions to the extent that the health, safety, and well-being of the men and women involved in porn (including ourselves) is, I imagine, is not a very high priority, if its a priority at all. Well, I hope that is enough for now. I look forward to engaging life with a more balanced, healthy mind and I very much appreciate the support in helping that be realized. I hope that in return I may be able to provide some support back to you all as well.