Overthinkers Anonymous

Discussion in 'Women' started by Reader, Sep 30, 2022.

  1. Reader

    Reader New Member

    I'm that girl who was ALWAYS reading growing up, and that's how I got into the trap of pornography. The stories I can create can stick in my head and overturn the things I want to actually think about the world and about myself. I found out about sites like these from a podcast about pornography, so I'm the kind of person who does too much research. It's hard to feel encouraged that change is possible.

    I'm hoping for an accountability partner I have similarities to so I can feel less lonely. One thing I need help navigating is technology. I feel threatened by the technology that surrounds me because it's always been the trigger for my bad choices, so I'm worried I'll end up being sucked into a wormhole, especially since it's something I struggle with on a daily basis.

    I have an awesome family. I'm religious to the best of my abilities but have been tied down from a lot of growth because of my shame of this issue. I'm a recent college graduate who just started a new job. I'm nervous about the continued effect this addiction has on me because I have so much riding on being able to work effectively.

    My goals:
    • Distance myself from PMO
    • Strengthen my relationship with my husband
    • Keep work unaffected by addiction
    • Engage in more, regular physical activity
    • Build faith

    My general interests:
    • Reading (especially graphic novels and YA)
    • Calligraphy
    • Vlogbrothers
    • Musical Theater (especially cast recordings)
    • Cooking Shows
     
    BuddhaPunkRobotMonk likes this.
  2. Reader

    Reader New Member

    Here's a question - has anyone found any research about how P compulsion varies throughout the menstrual cycle? In starting this journey, I recognize that it feels more feasible than normal because I'm not at a highly emotional point in my menstrual cycle. I'm sure that within the research on hormones, there has been a section on desire, but that isn't a normal thing for me at this point. I'm thinking there must be a connection because I heard about female soccer players optimizing their performance based on their cycles. https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/wellness/story/uswnt-period-tracking-win-world-cup-64709450
     
  3. Reader

    Reader New Member

    So far so good. I think what I need to nail down what my definition of P is. The thing that's been helping the most has been packing my days full of stuff. I've been doing a lot of moving around and walking and playing Pokemon Go.
     
  4. Reader

    Reader New Member

    I had a really intense time yesterday when I was home alone and usually would have been making a bad choice. It's interesting how little I want to reach out for help in the middle of the brain games. After (like now) I'm more logical and can put into words how the experience felt and hurts, but I didn't feel like I could either contact a family member or post here because it just feels like hurt. OR it would have felt like "oh, I did my token try to quit so now I'm not responsible for if I do go look at P because at least I tried". I've had those days though. I made it through but anticipate it being hard again today.
     
  5. Reader

    Reader New Member

    Restarting the count this morning because I woke up way early and couldn't go back to sleep. Didn't feel like doing anything other than staying warm and ended up breaking the chain. I'm still in this for the long run. I know it might take me a long, long time.
     
  6. Reader

    Reader New Member

    I've decided I'm going to try to lock down my phone more and get a safer browser, just for when I feel close to breaking.
     

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