Days don't count, people do. Hello folks. Overthinking leads to the wrong conclusions. Relaxation is what we addicts lack the most. We have a habit of obsession, which shows in many of us counting days, making graphics, statistics or what not. I remember doing that when I first got on the forums. I was excited to put my energy to use in a constructive way. Work towards the 90 day barrier and then you're finally free. Right. I'm not sure whether to laugh. That's like snakes-oil evangelism. And frankly it shows that it doesn't work, aside from a few success stories which don't prove much. We overthink too much! My thread is called Out of the Question for a reason. Thruth is, you are free right now. Whether you are on a 3 week streak or just have lost yourself in a 12 hour porn binge. Ok, in the latter case, you're head might be drowsy and you're probably hungry, but you're free. What? Jesus paid the price. You're free... That means YOU can decide what to do next, like in the most amazing sandbox game. This might need some time to sink in. Also being on a super-streak doesn't make you more of a man than anyone else. You're not more real, though you might have more confidence. But if your confidence only comes from the ability to resist porn for a given amount of time, it's a farce anyway. You're just as free as your fellow men. God sent his Son to deliver all. What do you believe? There's a way that seems right in the heart of a man And many angels of light in disguise destroying man So most chose to refuse the absolute truth Replace it with lies, use ignorance as excuse It's hard to conceive what the mind can't comprehend And harder to believe what the eyes can't understand We look to theory, philosophies and thought For a sure foundation in a belief we once sought While the shadow of truth, cast an image so clear The closer it gets, we reject it out of fear If we really wanted truth, we would give our lives for it Walk in its direction of light, for God's glory. (From Grits - What do you believe?)
Just writing here to get some things of my chest. I've realize that much of my worries come from people who love me the most. People worry for me, not even giving me the chance to make up my own mind. It annoys me big time. I haven't been assertive enough, but things are changing. I'm more chill with being me, regardless of what others think. And that's the best state to be in. Exactly how God wants it as well. To NOT present yourself better OR worse than you are, that is essential! That's what it means to be real. Alas, today I did some home-improvement. More work is left for tomorrow. That's all I did for today. And I think that's all I really could do. I feel rather edgy today. Peace.
Hola, It's very simple to stay off porn without internet! The minute I'm having access to the web, evil schemes enter my mind again. Far more productive without the www also.
Agreed. Great job. I've learned that random internet surfing, even if safe, can lead to bad outcomes.
Checking in for once in a long while. I don't have that much to mention, which is good. The forum has slowly lost its use for me and I don"t imagine coming back to it a lot in the future. I"m going to dare myself into using a smart device with internet again, which is risky, but I'm of good faith that i'll be able to overcome the temptations. I hope you are allright, fellows.
Checking in on my birthday. I turned 33 today. Currently i'm back in the psychiatric department. It ain't easy, but it could be worse. I'm slowly coming to some conclusions, taking me further away from temptation. I've kept myself busy with photography and writing. Here's a little something, I thought and share with you guys.
The sole reason people relapse is because they try to escape reality, which is a futile thing to do. Basically they are running from God's love. I'm clean for weeks now, but the habit of running is still present. I receive lots of love, but I suffer with giving it, Sounds much like porn huh? Giving love takes timenand, care and attention, while porn is a short-circuit type of thing. Its the opposite from being present.
(me balancing) Sexuality I wonder what it's all about. I have no experience but staring at a screen watching actors do it. It's no reason to be ashamed. Even if I was the only one watching all the others having sex. Most of it is mindless anyways. And if it isn't mindless, it is manipulative. The people involved are no good role-models. Still sometimes it feels like i'm missing out.. that's when fantasy and its deceptive motivations kick in again. Let's not forget, sex is a good and God-given thing. How do we find back to how God intended it to be? Innocence plays a part, I believe.
