Try to be careful with your expectations. It's good to dream but many times when we confront reality things aren't as we hoped. We got to stay humble and keep trying. Having too strong expectations and then getting crushed by them (totally normal response) is a sign we need to learn more. We're not doing something right yet. Over the top expectations (too attached to them) is a sign we are probably burning some steps. Maybe have some more humble expectations. I think you're doing good man. Keep going. Love your life my friend. With all your heart.