Ugh. I'm at the brink of relapsing into porn. Before I had some painful realisations and its makin' me head off into fantasyland again. Seriously struggling right now. I know its not worth it, but still it feels more favorable now than dealing with reality. The girl I thought belonged to me, might not belong to me after all.. Update: Gave in to the urge and watched some vids. Yeah its exciting, but never satisfying. Its never good enough. There is always a next and before you know it, you're a few hours into the night. I don't want that. I'd rather face the reality of the day. Yes, yes.