Online dating: good or bad?

Discussion in 'Social Advice' started by Eternity, Apr 9, 2012.

  1. nofaplife

    nofaplife New Member

    Online dating was a huge, depressing waste of time for me.

    The women viewed me as a 3rd world peon (even though they are from the same country) and didn't deign to respond to me. Sad, but that's how the world works.

    There are a lot of fake profile pics and scammers as well, especially if you are talking to a woman from Asia.

    Always do a google image search of the person's profile pic. Sometimes they post pics of celebrities/models to get more attention.
     
  2. Primetime

    Primetime New Member

    I posted on here earlier, not really active on the forums anymore.. but I check in every now and then. For someone who is very busy, online dating is definitely really good. I'm currently talking to about 6/7 girls who want to fuck/meet up. I fucked two girls on the first date in the past two weeks.

    A few tips:
    -Send out messages that stand out from the crowd. Just give it some thought.. Think of a random message that fits your personality. Send it out to 10 girls ( doesn't matter if you want to fuck them or not ) and see what the responses are. Adjust accordingly.
    -Try to talk about meeting up and having tea or whatever you want to do as quickly as possible. So you can steer the conversation towards actually meeting up without talking for 4 months before finding out her pictures are MySpace angled or some other stupid shit.
    -When you're on the date, try to go for the kiss quickly DURING the date. Propose to go back to your place to chill about an hour after that. (That's what I've been doing. Of course if she is all over your dick in the bar, you can ignore that hour or whatever)

    I'm not saying online dating beats cold approaches, because I believe it doesn't. (Cold approaches are much more of a challenge and thus better for you IMO) But it's definitely easy, once you get the hang of it, for people who work and study more than 60 hours a week like me. I only have time to date on friday, and this way I can just send a couple of messages on my way to work and arrange something for every week.

    Give it a go, guys.
     
  3. TheBorb

    TheBorb Bullshit detector

    It's interesting but beware. It's too Facebook, too easy, too instant, tried it last year and I found it a bit unnatural, it fast-tracks everything, didn't really like it but got three dates within a week. Two gave it up straight away but the PIED kinda sunk everything...which was good with the first (totally psychoalphadiscobeta) but bad with the second (superb chemistry but polar opposite libidoes, I felt pathetic, could not generate interest and she was lush!). Both were humiliating, not being able to get it up.

    Soul-destroying, set me back months in terms of confidence, to me it felt like a reminder to oneself to learn to walk - crawl, even - before even attempting to run. ;)
     
  4. steffy78

    steffy78 New Member

    When dating I suggest following the saying birds of a feather flock together. Don't just base your feelings on physical attributes that porn thrives on. Do bear in mind that your mind is slightly but warped enough to be fooled by your addiction. Use your soul and let love take control of you and you'll find someone.
     
  5. Brit_91_kd

    Brit_91_kd Member

    "I've never been successful with it. There are like 1000 men for every woman"

    That practically sums up online dating.

    Some also post photos claiming to be them when clearly is isn't. ( watch Catfish for more)

    I don't really bother with all that.
     
  6. Panonymos

    Panonymos Humility is a virtue

    The internet is a wonderful tool for meeting people, and also for dating. Why not?
    As long as you are using a good dating site (paid), then you can be sure that the profiles are real. Or almost sure.
    Dating online is just as easy or as hard as in real life. There will always be competition. So you need to make sure you are using nice pictures and take the time to make a nice profile.
    The good thing about online dating is that both sides know why they are there. They both want the same thing. When you see a girl in a bar, you still have to find out if she has a relationship or not, if she wants to date or not, whatever.
    There is a real person on the other side of that screen, so I don't see much difference between real life dating and online dating. It 's all good. Why not give it a try?
     
  7. kopp

    kopp Member

    Every attractive guy I know agree on this :
    Online dating is good if you're already good at dating.
    If you aren't, you wont be better at online dating.
    This is just an extension...

    So : if you're good at dating in real life, online dating will be a bonus. If you're not, learn real life dating first. :)
    If you want to compensate your social anxiety by going online, you'll have a bad time and end more depressed than when you started...
     
  8. steffy78

    steffy78 New Member

    Couldn't agree more, I've done it before and I was crap at dating, I've never been able to chat up chicks without screwing everything up and literally pissing in my pants. As weird as it may seem when I fancy a girl well I get a boner and it makes me feel rubbish and I lose the plot.
    Fortunately that's water under the bridge as I'm happily married now. As I said my wife made the first move thanks to a text message.
    The bottom line is that you've got to make sure you know how to date a lassie before doing it online, ultimately you'll have to chat her up and that's where it can get messy when you're aloof and shy. However texting can be a great ice-breaker. Girls can take the plunge when they're interested.
    Good luck mate.
     
  9. kevin22

    kevin22 New Member

    Online dating sucks IMO. I rather grow some balls and approach the girl I like in real life.
     
  10. Maskulinium

    Maskulinium New Member

    I really dislike online dating because women on those sites, in my experience, tend to be a bit flakey or they are crazy. What pisses me off with those sites is that women get praised so much by desperate guys that even the most unattractive girls think they deserve a 10. I've tried it a few times and got a few messages but I quickly found that girls don't generally put any effort into writing messages anyway. The energy input to get a date is not worth it imo. It destroys self worth as well since you come from a begging position.

    Meeting people in real life is way easier if you dare to approach a few girls. The benefits is less competition and having your self worth intact.
     
  11. WaveRace

    WaveRace New Member

    When I first tried online dating it was on Lavalife in my early twenties. A 2 year relationship came off of it within 3 months. This was back in 2006. Not that long ago, but it sure seems like it.

    Within the last 4-5 years I personally feel that online dating sites have been frustrating for most men and to some degree women.

    Do they work? Sure. However it is really hit and miss, and can vary based on site, members and your pics.

    Overall, improving my face to face - out in public skills has been the more worthwhile investment.

    If possible, try somehow to, based on your own situation talk and approach women. Yeah easier said than done, it has taken me time. But I finally had enough of the cyber circus.
     
  12. leannfit

    leannfit New Member

    I wonder what's up with that,guys have porn addiction and women wind up fat with kids.. are they susceptible to some other kind of addiction to food and the biologic urge to procreate?
     
  13. JerseyJay911

    JerseyJay911 New Member

    I couldn't have said it better. Guys want to try online dating based on the misguided notion that it's easier because they don't have to face rejection from women. But guess what, that's the same mindset with the other 90 million guys who have flocked to online dating. Men are just a commodity on these sites, and the women that do go on there are just looking for an ego boost. All the ugly chicks who never get asked out in real life are suddenly getting attention on these sites, and it gives them a nice rush. In the end, this old saying holds true: if something looks too good to be true, it probably is.

    Just a disclaimer: my post was a bit rant-y, so don't take things literally. But there are many guys who have tried online dating, and had the same view.
     
  14. Maskulinium

    Maskulinium New Member

    Thanks man. Most guys I've met who has tried it got the same attitude. Internet dating is just low risk with low reward. Men should risk more and get a chance at better rewards. On dating sites I get maybe 5-6s (assuming 5.5 is standard looking). In RL I can get better looking girls and I'm certain it applies to most guys. One reason I came to this site is that I met this 105 lbs girl, for me she was close to a ten. Kissing her was like being in heaven, time literally stood still, nothing existed but her. Perfect body, intelligent eyes, I'd never would have got her at a dating site. Allthough when we got home, nothing happened downstairs and she was literally naked on top of me.

    So for all the guys. I think the two important thing to know about RL dating. Show who you are with pride including strengths and flaws and never think a woman is worth more than you just because she's a woman. All the years of reading PUA shit boils down to that. Never apologize for who you are and don't take any shit.
     
  15. soshdog

    soshdog New Member

    Online dating works if you're good looking and know what you're doing. Over the years I have gotten much better at being successful at it, but I used to have the same exact frustrations I am seeing echoed in this thread. The only thing for me is that I am having such a hard time beating PMO MO PIED etc that I feel I may need to get extreme and not look at pictures of women online whatsoever! It's too stimulating, especially when trying to abstain from porn. I have MO to pictures of women on the dating sites before, including ones that I have messaged, met or fucked.
     
  16. WaveRace

    WaveRace New Member

    I find lately, the most frustrating is getting through the reasons why she can't meet this week or whatever else.

    --I am really busy. Sorry.
    Guy: Okay, when is a good day next week?

    --I'm not sure, I'll have to check, maybe like Friday. I dunno though, my friend is suppose to get back to me about dancing. If we don't maybe we could get a beer.
    Guy: Cool, well Friday should be okay.

    --Hey, yeah sorry next week wont work. I am working more than usual.
    Guy: Okay, well, when are you not working?

    --Well it depends, like I'm not going to say for sure yet.
    Guy: Thinks to himself, this is the 4th woman this week with the same reasoning.

    Whether she is telling the truth or not. It is worse than ever with the non committal run around.
     
  17. Primetime

    Primetime New Member

    She's just bullshitting you, and even if it's true.. If she is really into you she will rearrange her plans. I've had girls cancel other dates because they would rather see me. And that doesn't mean I'm special, it just means that there is no appointment that they wouldn't give up for some good fucking. Would you postpone a date with someone you really liked because you had some half-assed maybeyes/maybeno appointment with one of your friends? I know I wouldn't.

    I've been taken in by this shit before, it's very normal to keep giving her second chances and stuff. But quite frankly it's probably killing all the attraction she had for you in the first place. (If there even was any!)

    I usually try to give them one, or maybe two, passes on bullshit like this. After that just stop messaging them and move on.


    Also. I found that the girls I had the most success with were the ones I was just chatting up with and only dropping small hints of meeting up. Just stupid lines like "If you do that to me in real life, I'm going to smack your ass bitch!" or "Yeah we should totally go see that movie once!". Just some small things that get them thinking.. about meeting up. Before you jump in with "So friday night 4 o' clock?!"

    And saying you're busy yourself is usually good too. When she asks for another day to meet up don't be like "Yeah I've got next week and the next 20 weeks after totally free so, it's up to you!"
     
  18. leannfit

    leannfit New Member

    1st off she sounds like she's 20-25
    2ndly, you arent ALWAYS AVAILABLE, you have to say, ok Im busy, so email when you are free and we can see if our free dates line up, I gotta go and stop talking to her

    People spend their time and money on what is important to them, if you arent important, even for a first date, FIND SOMEONE ELSE
    just dont watch porn,.
    good luck
     
  19. JerseyJay911

    JerseyJay911 New Member

    The reason this is happening is because women have the upper hand especially in the online dating world. Even the ugly ones get laid consistently. I believe that (and this might just be a theory) the online dating world has a bad male:female ratio, and that the odds are stacked against men. If you're an 8 in the real world, you probably get demoted to a 5 or 6 when you entire the online dating world. The situation gets exacerbated by the fact that the men who do online dating are the needy ones (not all). If you read the back and forth in WaveRace's interaction, you will know what I mean. Women can sniff neediness a mile away. Also if the girl keeps blowing you off, she might just be rejecting you nicely, and wants you to stop asking. In any case, if you're still pursuing a date out of a girl who's "postponed" the date 10+ times, you are being a needy chode, and you probably deserve to be rejected. Sorry but there are more fish in the sea.
     
  20. WaveRace

    WaveRace New Member

    I made up that conversation just to make a point. Many of us, myself included have had those experiences. I have become better at not approaching women in that style. Yes it does come across as catering to her schedule and disregarding my/out own.
     

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