onesea's journey

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by onesea, May 14, 2015.

  1. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    This was my strategy early on and still serves me well.
     
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  2. onesea

    onesea Active Member

    Newman,

    It didn't come easy that I was able to stay out of trouble. At first it was a time for me act out but I've gotten better about the structure of my days and what I do to keep busy. So yes it was hard you might think at the beginning. I'm someone who can find a ton of things to do and wonders how I ever had time for a job. Ha ha but true. I should have been a mad scientist in the garage because I could probably keep busy doing that sort of stuff. Yes I speak of boredom and what it does to me but these days I have gotten better with that.

    Hope your weekend went well.

    Saville - I think we all need some structure in our lives at the beginning of this work we are doing on ourselves. After we get some understanding of our addictions and some healing, we can have a little less structure.
     
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  3. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    I still need structure in my life, but hopefully down the road I can ease up a bit. Like you I keep myself busy, which if you knew before was definitely not me. I had busy periods with long gaping holes of me doing nothing. I like your image of the mad-scientist. :D I love working when I'm doing it, but before giving up P and M I needed a stick of TNT up my ass to make myself get out of my recliner or bed. I still struggle to stay productive, hence the continued need for the intervention that structure creates.

    Hope you're having a great day!
     
  4. Newman8888

    Newman8888 The wound is the place where the Light enters you

    Onesea, I agree. Even though I have a busy job and long commute, I make a point to have a structure when by myself in the early morning hours. As I posted before, working out and meditation as a daily regiment have been helpful. They also help to combat heavy mood and anxiety.

    As I have written before, I am so impressed to see how you have adapted to your post-job life. This is not an easy transition.

    It's always good to have you around on YBR. Take good care, my friend.
     
  5. onesea

    onesea Active Member

    Saville - Maybe your going through all of this has actually made you more structured and that is something you can use going forward even if you do have to let up a little. I'm finding that I can use structure even in the smallest things if it needs it. As for the mad scientist part I just like tinkering and if I just go with that feeling I can fill my time and not get bored. If I deny it I get in trouble. I guess I have to go with my curiosity about things or pay the price with bad behaviors.

    Newman - Staying structured when we are alone and liable to fall back into our ways is a must. I find that when I fill that time with the things you mention like meditation and exercise, I not only get past those dangerous times, I feel incredible. These days I am doing more exercise than I thought I could do at my age. I'm doing it carefully and it is paying off.

    take care both of you
    onesea
     
    Billy B. likes this.
  6. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    You are definitely right! The new habits are creating a better life all round.

    Careful exercise is the bomb!
     
  7. Newman8888

    Newman8888 The wound is the place where the Light enters you

    Onesea, I would also add that besides structuring our time, I have found it equally important to avoid procrastination. For me, this means overriding my resistance, fear, etc. I have to credit Wabi for this discovery, which I have pulled from his "play book" of recovery.
     
  8. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Good to see you doing well, Onesea. :)
     
  9. onesea

    onesea Active Member

    Still doing okay but the stress is there and I need to manage it. Getting closer to moving and have a pet that is dying. All will work it self out in time and I just need to be patient. At least my personal life is doing well. Not a lot of deep insight today. I did run a half marathon and that seems to have deadened me a bit with exhaustion.
     
    Newman8888 likes this.
  10. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    Congrats sir on your half marathon! That is awesome... great accomplishment.
     
  11. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Yes! And, as you say, the other things will work out... very sad to hear about your pet though. That's hard. :(

    Posi-vibes to ya, Bro.
     
  12. Newman8888

    Newman8888 The wound is the place where the Light enters you

    Onesea, as I was reading your latest journal entry, I had the thought of how far that you have come, my friend. I remember when you first started here how you struggled with being long-term unemployed all the emotions that evoked.

    I am always glad to see you here regardless whether you have much or little to say. You have adapted well. Take Care.
     
  13. onesea

    onesea Active Member

    Hey Newman. Thanks for you words. I have come a long way but the struggle is still there in my life. What has changed the most is getting away from the awful living conditions I was living in. that lessened my anxiety which in term freed me up to concentrate on all these other issues we all deal with on here. As for the job situation I am at least taking a few classes and will start anew after I move next month.

    I think you have grown a lot too, especially in the area of awareness, self-honesty and more. Your stress comes and goes but you are able to handle it better each time.

    take care
    os
     
  14. onesea

    onesea Active Member

    Billy, yeah pets are sort of like family. It is hard to deal with the older they are. Good days and bad days are the norm right now but once there are more bad days I will let her go.

    take care
    os
     
    Billy B. likes this.
  15. onesea

    onesea Active Member

    fcjl8, thanks man. I continue to run half marathons as if I was 25 again, or even 40. I'm still finishing well enough but my legs are getting a bit more worn down every year. I like to say that if I died in the middle of a run I would die happy. I hope that doesn't happen though.

    os
     
  16. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear about your pet, onesea. :(

    It's wonderful though to see how different you are now, though. You have real clarity of thought and purpose.
     
  17. Newman8888

    Newman8888 The wound is the place where the Light enters you

    Onesea,

    I know what you mean about losing a pet, or the prospect of soon losing one. I still miss our dog that graced our lives for almost 17 years. He died almost two years ago. I chuckled when I read your comment about dying happy if you were to go out while running a marathon. Although I'm no longer a runner after a knee surgery a few years ago, I get what you're saying. It's always good to have you here. Wishing you a good weekend, my friend.
     
  18. onesea

    onesea Active Member

    I've run my entire life and I don't know what I would do without it. It centers me, keeps me from getting too depressed, distracts me and relieves a lot of stress. And keeps me in shape.

    As for pets it will be okay. She is doing a little better. She is an old cat at 19 and has been with me so long. If you had a dog who was 17 that is amazing. They usually don't live that long so you were lucky.

    Otherwise I'm feeling better these days now that we have a house to move into soon. That will be a good point to mark a new chapter in my life.
     
  19. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    Happy for you about to start that new chapter of your life. Cherish the wonderful companionship your cat has given you these years, I am sure I didn't have to state the obvious, sorry.

    Running is a great activity for all that ails us. I am scared of my left knee so I manage brisk walking but occasionally break into run.
     
  20. Newman8888

    Newman8888 The wound is the place where the Light enters you

    Hi Onesea . I just wanted to drop in and say hello. I hope that you enjoyed the 4th of July weekend.

    It's great that you can keep running. It's a great way to keep your mind and body healthy. It also helps stave off depression, I think.

    Have you moved into your new place? I was under the impression that you already had moved. Reading any good books these days?

    Not much to say. Just wanted to connect and wish you many good days ahead.

    Newman
     

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