One Life One Path (22 Years Old)

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by onelifeonepath, Feb 24, 2012.

  1. TheDude

    TheDude New Member

    Good for you man, nice to hear about someone making so much progress. Just don't come on to hard now. Heh. heh. Yeah that works both ways.
  2. Gucci

    Gucci Guest

    God damn it! You make me feel all weird inside - I'm both super jealous and happy for you :)
  3. onelifeonepath

    onelifeonepath New Member

    Day 54

    I just came so close to relapsing it's not even funny.

    When I was searching for something on the internet this morning I stumbled across a pornographic image. I've come across some nude images from time to time and they've had no effect; however, this was my first time seeing an actual sex shot since the start of my reboot. I backed out the moment I saw it but I've felt unbelievably horny ever since. All day my mind has been trying to justify MO and even P, and it's interesting to observe how persuasive the subconscious mind can be.

    Anyway, about half an hour ago I built up the momentum to call the girl I'm crushing on and ask her for a date on Saturday. We talked for a few minutes and—success!—I set up a coffee date. Right after I got off the phone I "decided" to give myself a few strokes to see how erect I'm getting. As you can guess, a few strokes turn into a few minutes and suddenly my mind wanted me to go all the way. "Come on, you need the release! You haven't busted a nut in over 50 days!" "It'll make you more relaxed on Saturday..." "54 days is really good, and it's not like you'd be starting back at square one. It's not like you're watching porn!" And so on and so far, ad nauseam.

    And you know what? I wanted to. Badly. I STILL want to. But I can't. The moment I thought about busting a nut new thoughts began pouring into my head: I told myself at the beginning I'd go 60 days and now that I'm so close I'd hate myself if I pussed out now. I'd hate myself if I didn't stick with this, just like so many other things in the past. And I'd hate myself if I gave up on the incredible progress I've made in the last 54 days and the way I've harnessed my intense sexual energy to make the changes I want to see in my life. I had to let the urge go.

    I feel powerful now. It's not because I consciously overpowered by sexual drive because, frankly, I didn't. The power stems from the fact that I introduced new software into my brain that overrode my sexual urges, perhaps the most potent human compulsion of all—and it works. My god, it fucking works. And if new software works for something as crazy as this then it also works for everything else. The secret is repetition. You repeat something enough times and your brain makes it reality.
  4. spinergy

    spinergy New Member

  5. Psychosis

    Psychosis Guest

    I'm really glad to read that you succeeded in fighting off the urges. One thing to keep in mind is that if you do actually succumb to the urge to PMO, it will be totally unsatisfying. I think that is what causes the "chaser effect", the initial lack of satisfaction with the original relapse. Thanks for the inspiring update.
  6. Gucci

    Gucci Guest

    I had a huge grin on my face through the second half of your post.

    We don't know how strong we are until we're faced with a challenge and, well, now you know :) we are more than our urges. And as you're discussing, will-power or determination if you may, is extremely useful in any area of life. The thing about it is it has to be built up over time, and guess what we're doing every day going through this. Yeah, that's right - probably the most mind-blowing process of hardening our determination there is in a non-extreme situation (although, I had to admit, I do sometimes "overpower" my sexual desire).

    WAY TO FUCKING GO MAN! :D I think this is one of those moments where we should have a blue-balls-of-steel-statuette to hand out.

    How did the date go, and what are your plans passing the 60-days mark - which I guess you're at right about now?
  7. Paulier

    Paulier New Member

    yeah - you'd get my vote for the statuette. Way to go man! Really inspiring - thanks for posting.
  8. onelifeonepath

    onelifeonepath New Member

    Day 3 (Round 2)

    Well guys, bad news first - I blew it (literally and figuratively speaking). On day 57 of round 1 I felt like my balls were about to explode and I masturbated to sensation. Ah, the relief! I was bummed I didn't stick it out til 60, though I was happy with the progress I had made.

    A week later I binged on PMO for two days straight. Since then I've watched porn a few other times, and the last time was 4 days ago.

    I feel pretty lame admitting all this, but I'm here because I need to hold myself accountable and get back on the horse. I'm going to resume my posts because frankly it played a huge role in my success last time. This time I'm going 60 days no PMO, then letting myself relieve my blue balls through sensation only (assuming I don't have sex between now and then). I'm also starting a new workout routine that should get me ripped. Anyway, I'm pretty tired so I'm going to leave it at this, keep up the great work guys!
  9. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Sorry to hear about your relapse, but the good news is that you're back on track.

    Binging for a couple of days after going almost 60 days of no PMO will not set you back that much. Only very little.

    The important thing is that you do not binge for a whole week or something like that. I always do it and I always regret it tremendously. It's like starting all over again from zero.

    It's funny how the brain always justify watching porn after each relapse. It's almost impossible to cum only once and then get back on track.
  10. Gucci

    Gucci Guest

    :( Oh well, that's how life goes though (and really, could've been worse like underdog's saying)!

    I'll admit something as well: I've been having nightmares (litterally) where I thought I had fallen off the wagon and then not being able to admit it here on the forums. I'm very glad you did - hiding failure in this type of situation is pretty much a guaranteed blowback. And really, there's strenght in admitting what we at instinct want to conceal the most.

    What did you learn from the setback? How are you putting yourself in a situation so you won't fall for the same mistake twice?

    Keep it up and yer hands of yer dick Mr!
  11. Gucci

    Gucci Guest

    How're you holding up?

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