On being yourself and success stories and "girls are like us"

Discussion in 'Social Advice' started by wojtekoxx, Jun 14, 2014.

  1. wojtekoxx

    wojtekoxx One-armed bandit

    I still think most normal people approach girls through extended social circles and on parties (not in clubs!). That is so easy compared to cold approach. The problem is, most people here don't have any social circles. For example I, due to fapping, didn't have the time for my friends or some friendly dates when I was younger. Now almost nobody remembers me :D But it is fair punishment for my behaviour back then
  2. kevin22

    kevin22 New Member

    Excatly and that is the reason why I have to cold approuch because I rarly have any women in my social circle.
  3. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    I have no single girls in my social circles (have 3 main ones). Have prettt much given up on getting any girls that way.
  4. wojtekoxx

    wojtekoxx One-armed bandit

    Thank you for your input. Well, maybe I mispresented my point, which is that if a woman wants you, she will make things easy for you. Like it's easy to talk with her, easy to hug her, kiss her etc. I think it's hypocritical if she jumped to bed with someone on the first date half a year ago and then expects you to wait 3 months. If she did this in the past, she could probably do this again, because it "spoiled" her mind. When I stole an ice cream from a shop back in the days it made it much easier mentally to be tempted again. Of course I didn't, but it seemed much more natural in my mind.

    There are some women who don't date anyone for months, or years. Then I agree that rushing to have sex may not be the best. Maybe it will even give you more chance to actually fall in love? But one should behave basing on her past, as it is the best predictor of her personality and future behaviour.

    Still, thank you for kicking me out of black and white mentality of extremes. There are all kinds of women, naturally.

    As of the counter, it is primitive, but it serves as a reminder to some guys here: you may be taking advice from a virgin guy, and that advice will be of according quality
  5. niskanen91

    niskanen91 Active Member

    Thanks for the warning, forum. I read this topic, it's quite interesting and I decided to contribute on my experience (by any means I'm not a veteran):

    1) Asking for relationship instead of going for sex - I have done it, once and will pretty much never do it again. I agree with wojtek's point that as a man you are simply not allowed to do this. If a girl is attractive etc. it's a huge turn-off, if a girl is below your league, I think that it could work well (she would be happy) but why would you offer relationship to a girl below your league?

    2) As for the "no-erection-so-can't-go-for-sex-before-relationship" paradox, I agree that we are in quite bad spot but in this case, I would keep rebooting. Staying away from porn has helped me regain erectile health (to some degree, still a lot of work to do) without any rewiring and I'm one of the worst cases of PIED.

    3) In my experience, I found cold approach to be insanely low efficient compared to social circle game. If a woman is a total stranger, your odds are significantly lower (unless she's way below your league or something), I had almost zero success using cold approach, was much better at getting women interested/kissing in social circle. And ironically (another paradox working against us), to have a shot at cold approach you need to have quite good social skills which is unlikely if you have no social circle.

    So to sum it up, in my opinion the best strategy for not-so-sexually-experienced rebooter is:
    - to give up porn forever (obligatory),
    - to give up masturbation (not obligatory, however as there are no benefits to fapping, I'm giving up fapping as well),
    - get more social, build social circles, they should involve drinking alcohol (more sex-positive environment),
    - get more attractive (gym, style),
    - don't get close sexually to women if you aren't ready (aka limp dick when interacting with her),
    - strike when ready (when dick works again).

    That's what I'm going to do.
  6. wojtekoxx

    wojtekoxx One-armed bandit

    Well yes and no ;> Whatever you do, please don't look at websites about looks being all. Avoid those clowns. While there is no game to make her attracted to you, there is a lot of anti-game to make her lose attraction. Neediness when you are on facebook = ugly thing, repulsive thing. Neediness IRL = Horny = Positive quality (but not always). Sadly I believe NoFap harms men more than help them if done improperly. You need to make cycles of fapping and nofap to get BENEFITS again (they wane with time), and to attract both girls who are drawn to indifference and those who are drawn to men drawn to them. BTW smarter girls seem to hate compliments and being nice.
  7. niskanen91

    niskanen91 Active Member

    I do agree, those forums are awfully toxic and most posters there are living in their moms' basements, they are clueless about life and have like 10k posts on those forums. Also, my real life experiences shown me that looks aren't all, however they are huge part of the equation.

    Fapping (to porn) has given me a limp dick so I think I have no other choice than to give up masturbation. If I don't do it, even if I get girl to the bed, it's gonna be a huge disappointment due to my inability to get erect.
  8. wojtekoxx

    wojtekoxx One-armed bandit

    Yea but it's much easier to accept that "fapping made your dick limp". Hell, you are even speaking about it in semi-public. What if fapping had 10% to do with it, and you actually avoid real treatment due to believing that porn is 100% cause
  9. niskanen91

    niskanen91 Active Member

    Okay but what could be the reason, if it's not a porn?

    I'm 25 years old, quite healthy and my dick slowly starts to react to women after some time of a reboot. Before that, it didn't react AT ALL.
  10. wojtekoxx

    wojtekoxx One-armed bandit

    Yup that's possible. But still it would be nice to go to lab and check your prolactine. Do it twice, after week of nofap and after week of usual wanking. Compare if ybop claims are true or bogus
  11. niskanen91

    niskanen91 Active Member

    Just curious, what prolactine has to do with it? I thought it's about when I get erection and quality of this erection.
  12. wojtekoxx

    wojtekoxx One-armed bandit

    Prolactine is released after ejaculation. It makes men sleepy, and helps us to not have sex everynight for the whole night. It makes us tired and also makes us less interested in sex.
    So logical conclusion is that after starting nofap, one will probably sleep less and have slightly more energy. When I was visiting my cousin for a week and had no place to fap w/ internet porn I made it into 7 days. What is funny is that after 4 days I got from 9 hours of sleep per day to 6 hours per day.

    Last but not least, when I visited sex-doctor years ago he made me test my testosterone and prolactine. Testo was over the range :D but prolactine was very close to higher bracket too. He prescribed me some meds to lower prolactine (so it's confirmed by science in a way), but I lost that paper and never took it. So it's possible that people with higher prolactine levels are less inclined to have sex and good erection. In my country prolactine blood test costs like 8 dollars, so it's good idea to check it for that cheap
  13. niskanen91

    niskanen91 Active Member

    I remember reading somewhere that guys who have PIED, have no problems with testosterone but with dopamine. I assume that my testosterone is alright, for example today I woke up with raging hard-on. Also when it comes to prolactine, in my experience, I was usually tired/sleepy after masturbating so it makes sense (and that's why after you fap you become much less productive unless you go sleep).

    Anyway, I'm not an expert when it comes to hormones and I'm not sure what's your point now.

    My experience (and experience of thousands of rebooters) shown pretty clearly that fapping to porn has made sex with real women impossible. Therefore, in my mind there's absolutely no doubt that:

    1) Porn is a poison that should be always avoided
    2) Before I'm finally cured, I couldn't really "win" when it comes to girls. Because the ultimate goal is to have sex and... I couldn't do it. 3 times I was in the bed with girl ended with 2 major embarassments/disappointments, one was quite cool experience but I had erection problems as well, the only reason it didn't end up embarassment was that girl was a prostitute.
    3) So (at least in my case) there's no way I can use porn and get any success with real girls.

    Now, the question is if masturbation without porn is healthy and it's longer topic but I'd say that in case of people who have totally limp dick that doesn't react to girls, abstaining from masturbation is a better idea. For most of us, there's a long road before our dick makes us "needy" and desperate for sex.
  14. wojtekoxx

    wojtekoxx One-armed bandit

    If you are attractive enough you will attract girls no matter if you fap or not. If you are not (in women's eyes), then probably fapping is better solution, because you need to get any help you can, and neediness is arguably off-putting
  15. niskanen91

    niskanen91 Active Member

    Um, attractiveness isn't that "black and white". I managed to attract (in my fapping to porn era) very attractive women but so what? Yeah, it's cool when attractive chick french-kisses you but when you feel NOTHING in your penis during this, there is a problem. Picking up chicks with my limp dick was like trying to win a soccer game except there's no opponent's net. Impossible.
  16. wojtekoxx

    wojtekoxx One-armed bandit

    It isn't black and white. But even slight changes in how your face looks can change you from guy that puts his hand into her bra after 15 minutes of conversation to a guy who puts his hand in her bra after 10 dates. There is some cutoff point on the attractiveness scale when you suddenly transfer from having 1 bitchy "girlfriend" to having 3 nice girls on the side.
    Paradoxicaly, avoiding the topic of sex due to your ED can help you attract some girls that otherwise would be put-off by your behaviour. Then you can start nofap and seal the deal. But it's only side remark :D
  17. pieterarons15

    pieterarons15 Member

    From my experience girls you Get to know by meeting them at youre social circle are verry slow at relationships.. in this case you have to wait for the woman who will ask you out or ask for seks.. Because if you ask them out they suddenly lose interest. Its because they fall in love at you because they don't know if you like them its a drama will he like me or not a game.

    While girls you meat at the club, street bar or other events you can ask them out (ask their number) and go out. You approuched her and showed you want more then just friends and she can either reject you or go on a date with you.

    I thinx thats the problem with girls you know in social circle you probably don't ask their out the moment you meat them wich results in them thinxing hmm does he like me or not? And if she likes you she starts making moves to seduce you and see if you like her.. But if you suddenly ask her out she is like he liked me but didn't ask me out the moment he met me its probably because he was scared of it.. Wich results in them losing interest.

    Thats what i thinx don't make a move at girls you know at social circle flirt a little bit and play hard to get eventually she will make a move if she isn't shy..

    However this is something i don't like because somethimes you can wait forever and you don't know either she is shy or doesn't have interest. My best way is to : start seducing and asking her out the moment you meat her..

    I experienced this olso. A girl who i met at my football club was really interested she kept looking at me and playing with her hair when we talked. And she even touched me. But as soon as i asked her out she didn't want to see me she ignored me.. If i just waited a few times longer she would have made a move..

    If you want sex or a relationship with a girl you meat because of youre friends you have to be patience however this are usally the relationships that last FOREVER OR VERRY LONG.

    So my advise: either go for it immeditally or be patient. There isn't a middle way around it.

    Hopes this helps guys..
  18. Rengaw

    Rengaw Will log on every other week from 13/10/2016

    Interesting topic. My nofap streaks gave me a ton of insights on my position towards women. I found out I knew jack shit about getting girls, except for them to get in a relationship.
    I also had no fucking idea about my own personality, what I stand for and what I like to do. That's what matters- show a girl what you like, make her laugh and make her feel comfortable. That's a fast track to intimacy.

    I liked the quotes "women decide about sex" and "men about relationships". Both are spot on.
  19. wojtekoxx

    wojtekoxx One-armed bandit

    TBH I found some redpill reddits golden when it comes to actual advice. But I advise against using it, until you can somehow hide 80% of misoginistic crap here.
  20. niskanen91

    niskanen91 Active Member

    Sure but there are also a lot of opinions and most of them are misogynistic. TRP gives a vibe that women are evil creatures that want to exploit women, this is actually a bad mindset to have.

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