On being yourself and success stories and "girls are like us"

Discussion in 'Social Advice' started by wojtekoxx, Jun 14, 2014.

  1. wojtekoxx

    wojtekoxx One-armed bandit

    I first started no-fap on February 2013. I read the success stories, about how now rebooters attract women, how they see glances and smiles way more often than before. And I did (on some days). On some days when I was extremely energetic I would make some girls smile, etc. But I had isolated lifestyle because of my age (dude, get into this no-fap groove in high school or early uni, that can probably make a difference!). Anyway, ditched my gf, because so many girls become attractive, so why bother with crazy girl. Quickly fucked all the girls who were chatting me for months and I was ignoring them before no-fap. Effect? 12 girls last year in bed. I was very optimistic!
    And then, when I finally was over with my gf, midsummer 2013 it started. I lost all my sexual appeal to girls. What happened, I don't know. I was kinda the same how I was in the Spring and Winter. But no girl wanted to be with me, let alone meet with me. I transfered from stable love and sex life, to having one date per month or so. Sometimes more rare. But what was wrong? Aren't the girls the same as us, guys? Don't they just want a guy who is not treating them like sexual objects? I was beating my head against the wall why new me can't attract girls for shit. I offered them relationship soon. In the past all of these girls would be asking me to be with them. To cut the story short, I lost about 9 months of my life. Terrible depression, emotional eating, video game addiction took over. Being alone always kills me.
    Then this may I decided that fuk it, I won't find a girl anyway, I WILL FAP. And I fapped numerous times. I got relaxed, I started to perceive girls as boring manipulative creatures, as I perceived them for years before. Ta Da! Dates returned. Now I have more girls than I know what to do with.
    By any means I don't advocate fapping to get girls. If you live normal, not isolated lifestyle (my uni CS year has 2 girls, taken and I live in flat, instead of dorm), you will probably attract girls living in your social circle. Well, then it pays off. But if you mainly lead the conversations over phone and IM and try to set up dates from that, you will probably be disappointed. Being horny and needy in the real life can probably pass the tests, but being like that on the phone will kill any attraction that was there. Now when I recall things I typed to girls on my no-fap "Drunkeness of love" I want to hide deep, deep to not see that. I don't know if there is a game of pickup, but there surely is a game of losing girls. I wish anyone not to repeat my path. Cheers and remember - girls are not like us]

    Anyone wants to chase. No one wants to be chased
     
  2. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    I am struggling with this myself. I have had sex with one girl before and find myself constantly thinking why cant I get any girls.

    Interesting you said no fap actually made it worse. For me it doesn't seem to make all that much difference with regular masturbation or abstinence.
     
  3. wojtekoxx

    wojtekoxx One-armed bandit

    What I was trying to say, reading success stories will make you think that all you have to do, is to go out and be yourself. I was yourself on fap - and my personality sucks. Probably personalities of most people here suck when dealing with women. Either we are too romantic or too boring.
    Unfortunately, trying to get a relationship doesn't work. You must work to get sex ASAP so that you can get the relationship! It is forbidden to even ask for relationship as a man. The natural order is like that: Women decide about sex, men decide about relationship. When men work (bad expression, I know) to get sex, women will want to secure that guy in a relationship. Too many guys just want a girl to be his friend, with occasional sex, but lots of cuddling and being equal. This doesn't work! But voila - get steamy sex and she will be dying to cuddle you and call you pet names afterwards! You can't really get to know someone you didn't have sex with. The most interesting conversations I had lying on my bed, tired, after sex with her. She opens!
     
  4. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    I think your correct about that.

    It is extremely difficult to get sex though which would lead to a relationship.
     
  5. Ruhtra

    Ruhtra Member

    Yep. Girls don't give a shit about you unless you have fucked them (properly). Sad but true.

    That's why it's so hard to find someone to rewire with.
     
  6. Primetime

    Primetime New Member

    I think a lot of women, especially young ones, think that they only have to show up in bed to be a good lay. After having sex with a few ladies who know how to suck a dick properly, I'm never going back to some half assed blowjobs.

    Ofcourse guys should also put the effort in, but goddamnit some girls are bad at sex.


    Also, totally agree with what the OP said on getting sex first. I went into online dating and only went out with girls with whom I could at least have a normal conversation. But I would always try to get them in the sack on that same night. My last three dates I think I spent about 10 euros (my drinks included) and just asked them to go back to my place. The last girl turned into my girlfriend, because I thought she was great (still do!). The others were just fuckbuddies or one night stands.

    Fuck them first, people. Talk later.
     
  7. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Only issue is trying to fix PIED by having sex first before a relationship puts you in a fairly powerless position when you have to take it slow in order to even get to having successful sex.
     
  8. Fappers_united

    Fappers_united Not today.

    That is the problem. There has to be a way out. There has to.
     
  9. Primetime

    Primetime New Member

    I feel bad trying to say anything about this, because I can only imagine how frustrating it must feel. But isn't still better to quickly get the girls to your home, kiss them, fondle them, eat them out and then cuddle? Even if you don't get hard right away, that is the only thing you can do.

    Get really good at eating girls out. Take them to your place right away and give them the night of their life. I don't think any girl would mind not getting the dick if their pussy got eaten in a good way.

    Isn't that a possibility?
     
  10. wojtekoxx

    wojtekoxx One-armed bandit

    during years 2007 - 2011 I quickly found out I can't get hard. I did get hard, but with the first precum (usually after first kiss), my erection faded quickly. Or with trying to put on a condom. Nonetheless, I licked and fingered the shit out of them. And I must admit, they did come for more. Some were using force to put my dick out of my pants! And I said no, to not embarass myself. But I think it can work...
    Also, if you are the one of guys like me, try this: when encountering girl (a date) try to kiss her on her whole body, but not her lips (ok, kiss the lips without opening your and her mouth), and don't hug her at all. That way I could be quite hard and having pleasure for quite a much longer. I will post another thing here about something interesting soon
     
  11. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Yes I do like eating pussy and would be happy to do that. The 2 girls I went home with though in the last 18 months would happily accept oral and cum from it, loved being fingered and kissed all over but would not give head for me so it was hard to get aroused. They said they really enjoyed it and came a few times but I dont pick up more than 1-2 times a year and when I do I seem to pick ones that dont like sucking dick or even giving me a good hand job to get going.
     
  12. Primetime

    Primetime New Member

    Well, that's a good start. Why don't you try to work on getting that number up then? Next year try 12 pick ups.
     
  13. wojtekoxx

    wojtekoxx One-armed bandit

    Well, i fucked exactly 12 girls last year. And it's my record compared to up to 5 girls in bed per year. But it came with great cost, I got impulsive, I got quite "sexoholish", I can do anything to fuck a girl, that's how needines has shown and destroyed much of my prospects...
     
  14. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    I think 12 is a little ambitious. I have had sex with 1 girl 3 times in my whole life and she was really fat and I didn't find her attractive at all. Rest were hookers.

    I would be stoked if I slept sith 12 girls my whole life let alone a year.
     
  15. Primetime

    Primetime New Member

    Make it 6 or 3 then. I managed to pick up 3 girls and fuck them in about 3 months too. So 12 is doable. But it takes some practice. It's not that hard once you get the hang of it. Plus you get to go out more, meet new people. It's really been good for my confidence, even the dates I didn't get laid on.
     
  16. wojtekoxx

    wojtekoxx One-armed bandit

    I am lazy, but I did one thing towards my lay count. I am online at every viable dating site and instant messenger. Being online makes you top of the search more often than not, some girls will write first, or at least visit your profile "too many times". And I don't care who think about me people who already friend-zoned me. To them I may sit online 24/7. They won't give me head anymore anyway, so why bother with opinion :)

    I was always ignoring girls due to fapping, I think it was attractive trait to them. Then early 2013 I stopped fapping and... fucked them all! With fapping it was too much a hassle to go out and meet them finally.
     
  17. kevin22

    kevin22 New Member

    At least you had sex with a girl before. I have no sex life or any women in my life. I only talk to one girl on a daily basis just one and me and her just friends nothing else. My problem is I don't approach girl a lot which is why my sex life sucks.
     
  18. wojtekoxx

    wojtekoxx One-armed bandit

    don't be so sad though
    what no-fap has made to me was fixating me on orgasms... like I want to invite a girl just to fuck her. When fucking could be impossible (like going for a walk) I turn off the offer. And I don't care about tits, kissing etc. Just the vagina. Now this is far worse compared what I was two years ago..

    Having high libido is cool, treating girls as a masturbation is worse. Women kinda feel it and those who would spread their legs in relationship with you, don't trust you enough. What I am trying to say that undressing girls and fingering them was a lot easier when I didn't want to fuck badly...
     
  19. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    I think his point was that he is upset about not getting laid. Telling him its hard having high libido and wanting to fuck girls doesnt really mean much.

    Its really tough not getting girls or sex. it can drive your confidence and self esteem very low
     
  20. kevin22

    kevin22 New Member

    Most days I wouldn't even care but when people ask me don't I have a girlfriend yet, I start thinking about it and it gets me mad. My problem is I don't go out a lot and at the moment I suck at approaching girls so I'm pretty much stuck in a cycle.
     

Share This Page