OTB, first of all 85 days is a damn good streak. takes a lot to string that many days clean together, congratulations. I struggle with intimacy. maybe due to my addictions. the feeling of low self esteem, worthlessness, shame and my "secret". all due to my indulgence in porn. i believe my wife can be my best friend. but that takes vulnerability on my part. with my hiding my addiction, it affects everything else in my life, including my marriage and intimacy. porn addiction is a very lonely activity. it is the ultimate act of selfishness. i believe where there is such selfishness, especially due to a filthy demeaning activity like porn-there is self-hatred. there is no love. i can not give what i don't have. my 2 cents worth.