What I want to point out also about the tracking, the acceptance of my inadequacies and deficiencies, I can´t really tell what came first, being less judgemental while tracking the relapses or being able to accept were I am at, at the moment or it is somewhat similar and came around the same time, but after a few months I stopped fighting so much after the relapse against myself and started to accept what happened sooner and that seemed to have been the moment were I got more motivated and gave up my resistance against myself and did not go into a binge mode for many days. This changed also the view on a relapse, before it was like a all is lost state of mind after a relapse, like it does not matter any more and I will relapse again and again over the next few days to a view more like, ok, I relapsed again, no big deal, I have relapsed thousands of times over the last three decades, what can I do to gain a small edge before the next urges come. Even the time after the relapse became so somewhat constructive and not so depressive.
I've tasted the same feeling...you're in the "good" company of other repeated offenders that are working their way up. Okay, you don't want to know what "gardening" channel I used to frequent...LOL. Women, sex "sells" everything. I'm happy that's back in the past. Glancing at your counter, it's in yours, too. We've all been there, haven't we? How about reading erotic novels and getting a raging boner because my brain was desperate for a fix? What about squeezing one out to some childhood cartoon? Deprive a brain of its drug and things get weird quickly. But here you are, again, and as far as I can say you are in the proper place. That's what matters most at this time.
[QUOTE="CleanBootsBaby!, post: 723716, member: 39015"QUOTE] That's what matters most of the time. I disagree that's what matters ALL the time!
