Old habits creeping back, time for a refresh

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by iceclimb29, Aug 29, 2021.

  1. iceclimb29

    iceclimb29 New Member

    Hi all, I was on here a few years ago trying to sort out my PIED and I 99.9% got rid of my bad PMO habits, but I've noticed them creeping back into my life and I need a bit of stability which I found before through keeping a journal.

    HISTORY

    I'm 34, married and not had a great last 20 months. My wife and I are definitely very stale romantically having had a lot of BIG fights over the last couple of months. We've fought over all sorts of stuff, largely just a clash of personalities rather than over specific events, but they've gotten to the point recently where divorce is mentioned sometimes and I've been pretty depressed for about a year and a half, which has impacted my behaviour towards my wife, my work, my hobbies and my attitude to life. I won't labour the relationship issues too much in this thread, but I did have PIED issues before we were married, and got over it and started to have a fun sexual relationship, but after we got married there have been relationship/family/lifestyle events that have made us less familiar with eachother sexually which gets me down.

    I had an appendicitis in Oct-19 which took me a long time to recover from and then I injured my shoulder in Mar-19 which completely took me out of being able to take part in my main hobby (climbing) and has had a massive impact on my mobility since. After all sorts of physio I'm only really just getting back to training. In that time I've also had Covid and I still don't have a lot of cardiovascular fitness at all and it's taking a long time to get back to full health. I haven't spent much time PMO-ing in this 18 month period, however I have definitely increased my internet usage of porn sites (nothing too crazy), but visiting kinky forums to get a sexual kick out of talking to other people about sex for my own gratification. This has lead me to having the worst premature ejaculation of my life (a minute on the best day!), poor EQ and not really being bothered about having sex to be honest, as the shame of being a minute man just made me more depressed. The extended time I've been sedentary over the last two years has definitely given me poor posture, limited mobility and a degree of anterior pelvic tilt, which is a major cause of premature ejaculation (Pre-E). This coupled with reduced actual sex, PMO behind my wife's back and being a bit depressed needs a wakeup call so I can go back to being a sexual adult again.

    GOALS

    No more porn/sexual content
    I know it's bad, you know it's bad, so just time to stop. I've deleted any accounts/association with any kink forums

    No MO for 90 days
    Aiming for the standard 90 days suggested on here, but planning to make it a lifetime commitment.

    Counselling
    I think some professional assistance with my depression and anger wouldn't be a bad thing.

    Premature Ejaculation
    Improve posture and flexibility, largely targeted towards anterior pelvic tilt (APT) at first. I'm not going to stick to an Pre-E plan (such as edging, etc) but I will start to add reverse kegels, etc, into my daily life to get me in the right direction.

    Get a routine
    "Journal" my day to become more productive and achieve more in my day to day life.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Thanks in advance for any support/answers/links that anyone may offer, I think it's a great community here, let's all stick together and push one another.
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2021
  2. BoughtWithBlood

    BoughtWithBlood Well-Known Member

    Goodluck on getting back on the horse. I know from experience how hard it is when suddenly your life is turned upside down by sickness/injury. It’s good to see the choices you are making towards the good life. Wish you all the best in your journey and marriage. Hope you two can find eachother again and rekindle the flame.
     
    iceclimb29 likes this.
  3. iceclimb29

    iceclimb29 New Member

    Day 1 - 30th Aug

    Finished work about midnight so was groggy this morning. Did a gym workout just to shake the cobwebs, first time in the gym since having Covid so didn't push hard at all.

    Had a long shift at work and didn't finish til midnight again so didn't get a chance for any mobility training, but did finish the book I was reading (The Little Book of Hygge) and ordered a new book.

    No thoughts of porn or sex all day, and diet was pretty good, although I necked a small bottle of beer when I got home after midnight.
     
  4. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Active Member

    Hey man. One day w/o P, a little step towards P loosening its grip on you.

    You're in a better place than one fighting every waking hour not to use. Congrats!
     
  5. iceclimb29

    iceclimb29 New Member

    Day 2 - 31st Aug

    Finished work after midnight again so pretty knackered today. Didn't do anything active but got through a load of chores (micro-win for the day was buying some drawer dividers to tidy up my underwear drawer!!!)

    Pretty healthy eating today and no desire to look at anything naughty.
     
  6. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Active Member

    You're a badass. Can't state how much respect I have for all you guys. I know what it takes! Go get'er.
     
    BoughtWithBlood likes this.
  7. iceclimb29

    iceclimb29 New Member

    Day 3 - 1st Sep

    Worked a night shift the day before so went to bed at 8am and got up at midday. Had a bit of blue-ball but just ignored it. Had to do errands all day but bought flowers for the wife on the way home, made a nice dinner and watched a film before I went back to work for another night shift, but glad we had a nice evening together even if it was only a few hours.
     
    CleanBootsBaby! likes this.
  8. iceclimb29

    iceclimb29 New Member

    Thanks buddy. Feels more professional and almost a bit easier keeping a log rather than just trying to do it just mentally.
     
    CleanBootsBaby! likes this.
  9. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Active Member

    I concur! Helps me a lot, too.
     
  10. iceclimb29

    iceclimb29 New Member

    Day 4 - 2nd Sept

    Met up with a friend and went climbing, fun session but was working the night before so wasn't on great form.

    Day 5 - 3rd Sept

    Took my wife to work them hit up some museums with my friend. Unfortunately I forgot I'd taken my wife to work and picked her up late and she was pissed off, and I didn't deal with the situation well. Ended up fighting til midnight.

    Day 6 - 4th Sept

    More fighting this morning and this afternoon...
     
  11. iceclimb29

    iceclimb29 New Member

    Day 7 - 5th Sept

    Chilled day at home with the wife then went to the beach; argued on the way there but at least I didn't touch myself!
     
  12. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Active Member

    Good stuff, man. When you rebalance, you will discover a more calm version of yourself. So, probably, less quarrel with the wife, too :).
     
  13. iceclimb29

    iceclimb29 New Member

    Thanks buddy, I hope so!
     
    CleanBootsBaby! likes this.
  14. iceclimb29

    iceclimb29 New Member

    Day 8 - 6th Sept

    Early start for a long day of driving followed by helping out on a mountain walking course. Gorgeous day for it and had a nice relaxed chat with the wife at the ens of the day.
    Had sporadic morning wood and erections throughout the day the last few days which is promising, but only ever to about 70% hard.
     
    CleanBootsBaby! likes this.
  15. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Active Member

    Great job! All good news. Keep at it!
     
  16. iceclimb29

    iceclimb29 New Member

    Day 9 - 7th Sept

    Another full day of walking in the mountains, my fitness definitely isn't back to anywhere near where I was before I caught Covid but still a good lung-busting day.

    Chatted to the wife on the phone a bit and all friendly. Woke up with morning wood, maybe 75% hard.
     
    BoughtWithBlood likes this.
  17. iceclimb29

    iceclimb29 New Member

    Day 10 - 8th Sept

    A full day of hill walking, easy not to get distracted, but then I did edge to some stuff I shouldn't have been looking at in the evening :-(
     
    Shady likes this.
  18. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Active Member

    Danger, danger! :) Man, we both know you can beat this thing. You're the man! You are much better than this.

    All the best!
     
  19. BoughtWithBlood

    BoughtWithBlood Well-Known Member

    At least you put it away. Next days will be crucial, will you let the thoughts and things you saw fester or take control and keep on track?

    best of luck!
     
  20. iceclimb29

    iceclimb29 New Member


    Thanks for your comments guys, I appreciate it!

    Day 11 - 9th Sept


    Last day teaching some walking skills in the morning and then did some personal climbing in the afternoon. Good session but I hadn't eaten properly that day so wasn't as good as it could have been.

    No porn or edging.

    Day 12 - 10th Sept

    Woke up extra horny this morning and the wife wasn't interested so I unfortunately edged to some porn again. Stopped myself before I came and got on with the rest of the day though.
     
    BoughtWithBlood likes this.

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