Odyssey of a 20 yr old.( Regular update)daywise journey

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by Mickeymouse, Feb 12, 2018.

  1. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Day 1

    It was quite easy. The challenge for me is to eliminate insomnia and fall asleep on my own and rejuventae my body.
     
  2. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    A while ago my father just councelled me as i am in my final yr of engineering. By this time my family is quite awarw of the fact that i am having insomnia. They feel i use the smartphone a lot and is relating this to insomnia. They have no idea that i was into pmo. I feel very disgusting. I myself not able to make out the reason for my insomnia. I am not depressed. But yes i certainly am worried about ed. But again i am not sure whther i have ed. I sometimes have erections sometimes i dont. Mostly i dont. I spend some 3-4 hrs of my day on smartphone. This is the schedule that i had during my reboot of 150 days too. My father wants me to decide my further plan of action. But with this insomnia i cannot simply take any risk . Pls pray for my recovery.


    Thank you.
     
  3. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Whenever these kind of discusdiond happen they make me worse. They tend to make me feel there is very long road to be covered to be normsl again. I avoid speaking to my parents in rhis regard( insomnia and further higher education/job plans) but eventually they happen and land me in a terribke situation
     
  4. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    You are right. But i really look aged. Hope that with better sleep over a period of time i might look young.
     
  5. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Day 2

    It was quite tuff. Urges were there but no erection/ hard. You can say semi semi hard. But what was quite surpriding to know that job oppurtunities in india are very tuff. I just got to know that for an exam having vacancies of 1200 some 1.8 lakh people appeared. That us very tuff competition. Its like 1 in 1500 shal get the job. My physical and mental ability is quite weak these days. I wonder how shall i manage such competitions.
     
  6. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    What do you mean by your last phrase PMO certainly wont get anyone there?

    Btw i use smartphone for like 3-4 hrs daily can it be the cause?
     
  7. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Day 3


    Last night was a terrible one i was moving and chsngong positions. It was like my body went to sleep but mind was still on. I dont when this ordeal of sleep shall end. I hope it ends soon. And again those body pains when i wake up is disgusting.
     
  8. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Day 4

    I am tired its 10.30 pm. Tomm i have my exam a class test basically. There was this time when i used to be enthusiastic about being one step ahed of others putting more of my time then others. And here i am today struggling to even study. I have headaches today perhaps i might get the common cold.
     
  9. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Last night was also a terrible one. I could not sleep properly. I have also developed bad throat. I want to sleep a good night sleep which when i wake up should make me feel energetic then tired. Also i forgot to mention ear buzzing is also there. Like out of nowhefe there is some buzz in my ear.
     
  10. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Day 0 relapsed.


    I was getting this slight fever and had exam tomorrow. I was not understanding a bit of the subject. Finally out of stress I had to do it. Now comes the terrible days 2-3 days of tiredness . I get tired after I pmo for like 2 days. It's like my body is not recovering or rejuvenating. I want to sleep like for 10 days on a stretch and feel better. Does excessive pmo makes one insomniac?
     
  11. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Man its a terrible start of the day i feel very tired. On general days too i feel i lack eneergy thatt my friends have. I wonder will i ever be able to havve that energy back. I havve never been so tensed in ny life like this. Each day i think about my current situation and think what shall be my future. I feel i am not even employable. This was not the case 2-3 yrs ago. I was the most confident student of my class . But now totally opposite. I m skipping todays morning test because i am so tired. I shall give the afternoon exam. Man 3-4 yrs back my stamina was grt even after PMOing i used to ok the next day. I m genuibely stuck in this thought process. God can only help. But again and again i make promises and i dont keep. Inshallah this time the promise shall be kept.
     
  12. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Day 1

    Last semesters results came out I failed in 2 of the subjects out of 8 I had. It's not a big deal my current semester shall not be an issue. But I knew with so much of insomnia and tiredness I could not simply manage them. The aggregate also came down from 78 to 74. I was constant scoring 78-79% but this semester it just came out to be 62%. I m depressed again. One of the most difficult phases of my life. I never failed a subject. Again a night of insomnia perhaps with increased tension. I pray to Allah that my life becomes stable just sleep is enough I shall put everything at place . allahuakbar
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2018
  13. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Just spoke to parents regarding my backlogs. They again started to council and blame the smartphone. Ok I understand but nobody takes a note of insomnia and tiredness I was facing while I wrote then. How depressed I was. One thing is clr a man can only be the best friend of himself. Nobody else can. I feel like firing 2 bullets into my head.
    I shall not be eligible to sit in the interviews for campus placements due to those 2 backlogs.
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2018
  14. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Day 0 relapsed.

    I m fed up of making promises to myself. Tension tension and finally relapse.
     
  15. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Day 0 relapsed.
     
  16. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Day 0 relapsed

    I shall try keeping myself busy from tomorrow perhaps that shall prevent me from relapsing.
     
  17. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Day 1

    Last night was difficult. It was like I was awake in the subconscious. My body was not turning off. I don't understand why the hell is this happening.
     
  18. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Day 2

    Last night I could somehow sleep. But still there is a lot to improve upon.
     
  19. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Relapsed day 0

    Thinking excessively about the harm that I have done to myself by over masturbating led me here.
     
  20. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Day 1

    Pretty ok. No desire towards women.
     

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