Nuwanda's path to liberation

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by Nuwanda, Jan 21, 2017.

  1. Nuwanda

    Nuwanda Member

    I tried playing BF3, but really it only made me angry. I am not great at video games, and that game is full of pros now. Made me remember why i quit:D. I will see if I can find any games that suit me better, that my pc can actually run. I have found that calling the friends I don't talk to as often is a good escape. Also it is a nice way of getting some stuff out there. Also I do some coding and CAD drawing, but atleast when I have urges it is hard to get real engaged in it.

    I agree, I have noticed in myself that I focus on flaws in girls to give myself and "out", a reason to not act on their flirts. This is stupid. I need to go for it more. Sounds like we are pretty much alike then, I have usually just made out for a while, and when it is obvious they want to fuck I have pretended to not understand or flat out rejected it. And then acted like I just didn't want it. So stupid. This has turned into me having to reject girls I would like to have have sex with, or even develop relationships with. I still think it would be weird to go for a one night stand, as it would not end in sex anyways I am pretty sure. But you are totally right, I need practise for when I find someone I REALLY want. This is a hard one.

    Yes, when I find a partner I will tell her about this. My friends as well for that matter. This is an important part of understanding me. I don't feel embarassed of this, but I don't want to tell too many people before I have beat this. I have told a couple that I felt certain would understand it, and honestly, it helped a lot. Just getting it out there and knowing you are not alone in it is really nice. Same with this forum for that matter. Porn addiction has actually changed me for the better, and in some ways I feel thankful for it. It has forced me to consider so many parts of myself I would otherwise not care to look into, and I think I will end up a lot more successful because of it. I am actually not worried about talking about this at all. I think it lies in the term you used, partner. Thats how I look at a relationship. It is someone you can trust to accept yourself, and work together with to create something thats bigger than the sum of the parts. I am not worried about how to talk about it, I guess I just would go for it.
     
  2. Nuwanda

    Nuwanda Member

    I know I have been away from this forum for a long time. I've had a lot of schoolwork to do, and I've enjoyed working on it for the most part. I'm proud of the things I am doing, and getting pretty good at it. Therefore I havent had much time left over to spend on this forum. I probably won't be here as much as I used to in the future either. Thats not to say that there isn't great people on here. I've interacted with many interesting and smart people, and I am sure you'll go places.
     
    Bauldr likes this.
  3. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Nuwanda did you face any depression?
     
  4. Nuwanda

    Nuwanda Member

    Never! Sure there has been times where I felt down, but I have never been depressed. The closest I have been are several "rutts", times where I feel like I have no real purpose and have needed to change course to feel happy. What about you, have you had depression?
     
  5. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    The psychiatrist says I have clinical depression. Because what all symptoms I said to him related to depression. I had almost no sex drive, penile and testis shrinkage. Poor concentration. I m on my day 14. I had terrible insomnia. When take. Medication I am able to fall asleep. I look too old. I m just 20. I have lost significant amount of my hair. Also have some hyperpigmentation on my left cheek. Feel very low on energy. I have back, neck and abdominal pains.
     
  6. Nuwanda

    Nuwanda Member

    I'm sorry to hear that you are depressed man. You've probably gotten unwanted advice from a lot of people already, like "have you tried to just be happy?" etc, so I will keep my own advice to you to a minimum.

    It seems to me like you are judging yourself based on how others are doing. Everybody does this to a degree, but it can be very damaging. What I would do in your position is focus on what things you still have, and the skills you are doing great at, and do those things as much as possible. The goal should be to be happy yourself, and not base it on how others view how well you are doing. Also I would focus on improving 5% everyday, like Jeff Olson talks about in the slight edge book. Your condition is obviously not someting that will just be gone in a week, but I know it will get better over time. What I don't like about the term "clinical depression" is that it assumes it has to last for a lifetime. Many people with clinical depression gets to a point where they are more functional than most members of society. It is totally possible. I believe in you man.
     
  7. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    ThNk you i needed this motivation desperately.
     
  8. Nuwanda

    Nuwanda Member

    I haven't posted here in almost a year, but it is time for me to return. I have some exciting news to share, and I hope I get to inspire you with it. You are all awesome, and thanks for keeping this forum alive. See you soon.
     
  9. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Pls update as soon as possible
     
  10. Nuwanda

    Nuwanda Member

    I will. The plan is to make it as inspiring and usable for the people on YBR as possible, so I will take the time I need to write it out. I promise it will be great though.
     
    Mickeymouse and CJJackson like this.
  11. CJJackson

    CJJackson Active Member

    Good for you bro just saw your post on my thread I’ll be waiting to see your post!
     
  12. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    Hey pls make it limited to the facts. Do not write anything which you did not felt improved. Are you writing on behalf of YBR?
     
  13. Nuwanda

    Nuwanda Member

    I'm not writing on behalf of YBR, I'm writing about my journey.
     
    Mickeymouse likes this.
  14. Nuwanda

    Nuwanda Member

    My post is currently at 1000 words, which is a lot more than I originally wanted! It is still in the writing, I'm working on it whenever I have freetime throughout the day.
     
    Mickeymouse likes this.
  15. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Member

    I m sorry if that offended you!
     
  16. Nuwanda

    Nuwanda Member

    Not at all! Post is coming soon. Honestly I thought it would be a lot easier to write it, thats why it is not out yet:cool:
     

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