Something I noticed about myself. Long time heavy porn user here. When I go a few weeks without porn, my fantasies become normal, straight fantasies - I want to take some gal, throw her on the bed and fuck her like normal, with me in the dominant position. Like my fantasies used to be in adolescence. But when I start using porn, that all changes. My fetishes all become masochistic: sissies, femdom, cuckold, etc. In fact, the kind of porn I look at goes down a very predictable path every time. It goes: Escort Ads -->TG porn --> femdom --> cuckolding --> interracial. It's amazing how predictable it is, how well worn that neural groove is. I can't even look at Tinder or Bumble profiles anymore because it inevitably leads to escort ads, which starts the whole cycle over again. The other thing that kills me about my porn-inspired fantasies is that I don't even appear in them. I noticed this a long time ago, I don't even show up in my own fantasies. I wonder how that started. It's only after I've done nofap for 12 days or so that I start to show up in them. That depresses me to no end. Maybe there is something to that theory of Baumeister's that people get into masochism to escape from themselves.