Argus, congrats on deciding to make a LIFELONG change and not just to recover. I too am considering it,but not sure. Well, I think I want to do away with porn FOREVER, masturbation, well we shall see after I recover. But only O with real women sounds very satisfying. Also, don't feel about about giving up PM but not O. I decided too I am not going to give up real sex. I wrote "i mean, thats the whole point right To only have sex with real women?" so I am going to keep doing it. Unless it gets bad and i cant keep it up or something, but if the opportunity strikes, I will probably do it. keep it up. .. pun not intended (but enjoyed).
hi CSIM, I don't think we're trying to quit O as well here...I believe this is about re-learning to enjoy a healthy sexual life as it should be, with a real person, not alone at the computer watching porn. I'm not on my way to become a zen monk (although I kinda admire those guys )...just getting that crap called porn out of my system for good, and reaching O through real, normal sex. Aside that, things are ok with my rebound process...no urge to PMO, no urge to have sex. Feeling kinda depressed, I guess this was one of those days when everything fits wrong and seems harder than usual. Turned down a party invitation because I realy don't feel like having fun today and I hate to show up with a sad face. But i guess this too shall pass. Feels good to write here
Day 11 -started to experience spontaneous strong erections from time to time -very mild urges to watch porn- dismissed quickly, -given some thoughts about MO at some point, but then I realized It would only make me feel ashamed about myself afterwards, so -dismissed ! -nice morning wood today -overall proud of myself for hanging over 10 days without watching porn I try to visualise myself, succesfuly ending my 120 days of reboot and enjoyin my new normal life. Great picture .
day 13 just a short update -no PMO or MO -since last post, had sex one time -errections happen more often during daytime, and seem harder than usual -mild urges to look up porn, but easily went away No major pain so far, so will keep on working on this process. Stay strong guys!
day 14 -oh boy, strooong urge to MO and stronger than last days to watch porn. Will do my best to stay away from masturbating, or at least convert that need into having sex tonight. Will NOT watch porn, no matter what. My boys ar hurting down there...must be the spring and the hormones
Hi Argus, I wanted to correspond w/ someone a bit older. I don't think my experience of "porn" is something 20 yr olds can relate to (posters of Farrah Fawcet and Raquel Welch). The computer has brought porn to a whole new level. Here's my post: Hi, I'm new to this and I think I started a journal but I'm not very computer savvy. So here is what I posted if you feel like reading it. I am on day 35 of reboot and I want to thank you for making this site available. I intend on using this as a tool, among others, in getting free of porn addiction. My low point where I knew I needed to change came after 35 years (I'm 52), and luckily, before I became crippled for ever. For that I am thankful. The long spiral of my addiction stimuli is classic textbook for men my age. I'll recount later if I feel like it. I hope my experience helps others get through this difficult process. Primarily, though, I'm here to heal myself through the catharsis of acknowledging my downward path and shame. Turn around is fair play. So I decided enlist the internet, which had been my enemy, as an ally. This is a great tool and the healing material is just as easy to access as porn. (And I don't have to spend half of my day removing viruses from my computer.) I started out educating myself about porn addiction. This included the social, psychological, biological, chemical, and spiritual factors. Attaining this knowledge was an important element for me. Next I started visiting sites that explained the healing process because I knew I needed hope after so much despair had become ingrained in me. Others going through the same ordeal successfully, and pros like you, have let me know that inner health is possible. I made some concrete changes in my life. To relieve some loneliness I bought a dog, became active in my synagogue, joined a town committee, went on a legitimate dating site and joined a gym. Now I have a lover and I'm even getting in shape. (These didn't stop my wanking to porn.) Inadvertently I discovered another tool--the emotions of disgust and compassion. Exploring the world of porn itself was an eye opening process. The "starlets" are usually desperate, dumb, children when they are convinced they can make some easy money then get out. The actresses and directors reveal hideous common practices including intimidation, rape, violence, disease, drugs, and scars that estrange them from future normal relationships and their families. On the other side the advocates of porn cite freedom of speech and the use of porn as a "marital aid". Both rationales I found false and disengenuous. Further many of the "starlets" aren't even nice people, never mind someone you'd like to wake up with. I have adopted spiritual practices of prayer and meditation. I'm not a preacher and the concepts of sin and repentance didn't help me. But spiritual practice is critical for me and, again, the tools to gain these skills are free and available on the internet. Finally, I found this site and it helps provide new tools, especially support. Anonymity too can be a friend. The site helps me prepare for what is coming next in this difficult process and I don't feel so lonely or ashamed because others are doing it too. ss I congratulate you on your achievement and on keeping this thread going. I have a question re PMO? Do you think not having an orgasm is critical? I'm in a new loving relationship, albeit long distance, and I get to have sex about every other weekend. We both love it. I don't want to prolong my recovery and yet I don't want to jeopardize what may be a jewel of a relationship. I'm not playing tapes in my head when we're doing it. We haven't had phone or email sex (which is a very tempting trigger for me.) This did get me very close to some trouble though. I googled "kama sutra" and emailed the links to her so we could experiment w/ new positions. The trouble was that it was a porn site and I kicked back into the old mode. Luckily I got off before I wanked and I've kept it clean ever since. So what about the "O" component?
day 15 -tough as hell. now i understand what blue balls mean...this is pain. -succesfuly refrained from PMO, and M and O @gettingthere from what i understand, orgasm seems to prolong the reboot, but i have to see that for myself Remember why we're doing this: to enjoy O as it should be, healthy, with a real person; being sexualy active is something normal and i don't think you should feel guilty about wanting to enjoy quality time with your lover... I would say keep it simple: -abstain from porn at all costs -don't masturbate for as long as you can, or at least don't think of porn while doing it -if both of you want some action, then simply let it be and enjoy it. It might take you a little extra time to complete the reboot, but on the other hand you keep the spark in your relationship. Personaly, i think it's worth it. Keep getting stronger, and enjoy your girl, mate
Argus, Thanks for the encouragement and right back at ya. I guess I'll risk prolonging recovery. I'm really not sure if it is another cop-out/excuse but I've had trouble meeting compatible attractive women so I'm reluctant to put her off. My challenge at this point is less w/ the physical than the emotions, previously deadened w/ porn, that have come crashing back. I beat myself up over anything, especially all the opportunities for real happiness I've squandered. Regret, sadness, shame, anger...all crashing back and no easy tranquilizer at my finger tips. Sorry to rain on your parade. gettingthere
day 22 -been busy and that's why i skiped writing. So, what i'm doing lately: well, at one time i had to MO because i couldn't take the physical pressure, and sex was..well..quite impossible at that time. didn't think of porn while doing it though... I haven't watched porn, and i am really not bothered by the lack of it I had sex 2 times Spontaneous erections happen pretty often and they feel quite strong. My libido is somewhat higher than usual. I will do my best to avoid MO for as long as possible. I can't wait for my 1 month checkpoint
Hiya Argus, So how are old mate? I'm glad you're here and keeping the good fight. My dad was in WWII so I hear a lot about it. Without you Brits and Winston Churchill holding your ground against all odds, that war might have been lost. So, Argus, I hope you translate that tough fighting attitude to this struggle. I mean it, you Brits are fighters! Gettingthere
