Newbie Needs to Re boot -Seeks Fellow Warriors, Soldiers, Grunts for this Quest

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Rhino63, May 11, 2014.

  1. Rhino63

    Rhino63 New Member

    Hey All,

    Newbie looking for mentor and then ultimately a team of fellow re-booters to over come this addiction. If you are looking too, then please read on.

    I am a 51 year old man, been using porn since I was 14 or so. By the time I was in college and a young soldier I was totally addicted. I manged to avoid the other army addictions - booze, tobacco, gambling, even cussin (sort of). But I was a total porn hound. I was a lifer and porn was normal. No big deal.

    I also am out-going, handsome, etc, and pretty good at picking up women, flirting etc. I've been married twice, one marriage was totally wrecked by porn/cheating and in the other, the one where I had kids, porn played a part for both of us - we had a relatively open relationship and she found some one else, a woman.

    Now I'm in a relationship, barely, with the best woman I have ever met. She is smart, sexy and best of all the kindest most caring person I have ever known. Yet, I've managed to fuck things up a few times now, and today is the 5th or so time I was caught sexting or Im'ing with a woman. I have binges of porn and then, usually mange to meet some one, in the past through on-line meeting sites, or this time in person at a pub. Not only did I flirt, but then ended up sexting and manipulating her to get her to act slutty and like a porn slut.

    I see this as just part of my porn addiction, I watch porn, but I too have porn induced ED, so I seek out other women to validate my 'sexiness' and masculinity, to act like the 'sluts' I see on my computer. even better if they are married, then I'm stealing some other guy's wife!

    It's not that my gf is not sexy. She is amazingly sexy! But my brain is so fucked up now that making love with her isn't satisfying in the way that porn gives the dopamine hit. I want to watch porn and then act it out in RT.

    I might have one last chance with my lovely woman. I need to kick this habit, find a totally new sexual reality.

    ANY WARRIORS WANT TO GO ON THIS QUEST? VIKING TO WRITE THIS SAGA?

    I'm a big man, soldier, ranger, SF, bad-ass, who cries over soppy movies and happy endings. I'll be honest, I'm never going to take Jesus into my heart, or find-myself through inner exploration. Yoga and meditation, sure, I'll try it. Exercise, bring it on! A team of us doing the re-boot, of course!

    I want brother warriors, men who are not wall-flowers, to join me rebooting our heads, saving our relationships, and being free from addiction.

    Is there a mentor to lead us, and brothers to join me?

    Rhino63 out
     

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