Hi, everyone. I lost my old password, but I'm a longtime member who's struggled with a variety of addicitons over the years, including porn/PMO. I did pretty well with my reboot, but lately, I've been slipping some with PMO, as well as drinking. I'll mostly be using this forum to talk about my drinking and struggles with addictive behavior, including some love/sex addition. Mods, I hope that's OK. This forum's been an invaluable resource for me over the years, and I could use the support.
The PMO has happened in tandem with my drinking usually, alongside some other compulsive behaviors. I haven't been watching porn for these PMO sessions but racy Youtube videos, bikinis and such. Still the same receptors, though,. and I've had a harder and harder time controlling my booze intake. So I'm here again. I don't quite feel like I'm starting over, but I definitely have some work to do.
I'm not sure what my "clean from PMO number is," but I'm not as concerned about that. For now, I'll track my numbers for PMO and drinking here. Today will mark three days without a drink. I don't know if I'll stop drinking entirely, but I definitely want to cut way, way back. Thanks.
Modest goal for this week: limit myself to 3-4 drinks this weekend. Hopefully I'll do better than that, but we'll see.
You're pretty much dancing around the core issue, Old Boozehound. You obviously can't imagine a life without alcohol, which is a huge warning sign. Two or three drinks on the weekend for an alcoholic is no different than a weekend P-binge: they both keep us stuck, operating on the lowest level possible. You know what the problem is. Time to act!
Hey, Saville, you may very well be right, but I'm taking this at my own pace for now. That said, I really appreciate you posting. We'll see how I'm doing a few weeks from now. <3 Okay, Thursday. No drinks all week, so far so good. Peeked at porn yesterday for a moment, which wasn't great, but no PMO urges. I'll have to write about this elliptically, because I don't want to betray any confidences, but the booze is a weird habit for me. It didn't used to be such a pain in the ass. Not in my 20s or 30s. But it crept up on me over the years. I've had drinks when I was sad or stressed in the past, but I've managed to get both my depression and stress levels under control. (For now, at least.) It's a strange afternoon routine for me, especially on weekends.
One more issue that's been creeping up is a fixation — if not an addiction — to my screens and phone. I spend a lot of time on Twitter reading stuff. (Thankfully, I don't post.) Something else to work on and replace with something more productive and fulfilling. Edit: Okay, locking down social media stuff. I am nothing if not the definition of "high-functioning" whatever, but that guise has been slipping lately. I have some support network, but it's shaky.
Alright. Friday. So far so good. No drinks, no peeking. I could stand to get out on some more dates, but I've been trying not to sweat that part of my life too much. Hope everyone has a great weekend.
Ok got through the weekend in one piece. Now for the week. Steady as she goes. It varies, but mostly only on weekends now. That's the goal at least. Thanks for the response!
I've gotten into a similar habit but it's not just a weekend thing anymore. Usually have about 3 large drinks per night, sometimes more. It's generally not enough to give me a hangover but it can't be healthy to keep doing this long term. How are things with you lately?
