Hey guys, I’m 17 years old and can’t have sex. I have a girlfriend (my first) and we’ve tried to have sex a few times, but I haven’t been able to stay hard enough to either get a condom on, or to fit it in. I have been worrying that I won’t be able to perform for a while because of this, although the first time it happened I wasn’t watching porn, so I was scared it was something else. I had a terrible childhood with a lot of trauma, and am receiving therapy for my mental health issues, being ptsd, emotional dysregulation, disorganised attachment, depression and suicidal thoughts. I’m sure as you can imagine I had used porn to cope for years. There is also no doubt in my mind that my mental health issues were worsened by my porn use. I haven’t watched porn in a few days now, so I will class today as Day 1 while I keep my journal. I want to be able to restore my dick to working order. Today I also want to mention that for the first time I got a morning wood, which was at around 70%~ strength. I then edged myself to my imagination about my girlfriend, in an attempt to rewire my thoughts, although I didn’t ejaculate. Please wish me luck guys, offer tips if you have any and please hold me accountable. I want to be able to be a man.
Welcome @AngryCrab . You are doing the right thing by ditching P use. All I can tell you is that i) long-term monogamous relationships are best. ii) You are a man by virtue of your physical makeup. That has nothing to do with your performance in bed. What you are now doing is not trying to attain something, but you retrying to live in accordance with what you are - which is a great step. iii) Please continue reaching out to anyone if suicidal thoughts come back. You are welcome to dm me if it's any help to you at all, I'm on here fairly regularly. iv) Keep researching good materials on your issues and pick up tips that work for you. v) Lots of journalling helps to get your thoughts in order on what you're trying to achieve. All the best for your journey
