I'll try to keep this brief, I'm a new member to this board. I'm in my early 30s and newly married. Been watching porn since I was about 15 but started watching high speed internet porn around age 19 - 20. Since my mid 20's, I would have ED on occasions but it wasn't chronic so I never thought that porn was that bad. I met my current wife about 4 years ago and since than I would have regular episodes of ED. I might have great sex with her 4 or 5 times before I would encounter ED so it still wasn't that bad. Since about July though, we tried maybe 4 or 5 times and each time I had ED. The small frequency of times we tried points to my fear of failing in the bedroom. She's not overly sexual so if I don't attempt to have sex with her, than most nights we'll just go to sleep. I wouldn't say that I had trouble getting it up at all though during these failed attempts, I would get hard but somewhere in the process of getting undressed, finding the right spot, I would lose it to the point that it wasn't hard enough to go in. It's caused her to be upset and feel like I'm unattracted to her. I actually think she is incredibly attractive. Once she gives me the bored or disappointing look because I'm not hard, I completely lose all confidence and than I can't get it up no matter what. When this happens it's extremely stressful, I go to work the next day thinking of it and wondering if she's considering to leave me. I would say part of it is due to my brain being desensitized by porn but also due to anxiety since the longer this has gone on, the more self conscious I am about it. I finally admitted to myself a few months ago that I have a problem with being overly exposed to porn than I found some threads and eventually landed on the "your brain on porn" website. I"m glad to see that there are others like me in this fight. So far the longest I've gone with no PMO is about 4 -5 days. I have no problem with it when my wife is around but when she leaves and I"m alone, that is when I have temptations. My wife knows I have looked at porn, she's found it on my computer on occasion and was not happy about it. She doesn't know that I'm on this forum and am now trying to recover and let it go. I'm afraid to tell her because she may get upset that I have the problem in the first place. She knows I have looked at porn but probably doesn't know the frequency or that it's to the point that there is a problem with ED. Since I've gone without PMO for a few days in a row, I feel a little more confident now that I could probably have normal sex with her but I'm also afraid to fail. I'm afraid to come on to her now because what if I still have the problem? When do you know it's the right time and you completely recovered and won't fail? I want to meet some members and here and have discussions so I don't feel I'm battling this alone. I feel like communities out of all things is probably going to help me through this and motivate me to not PMO.