New Life Now

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by TheAndersMan, Nov 24, 2012.

  1. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    No, no summer seminar. I've just read those books before. I remembered the general idea of the quotes and then looked them up online.
  2. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    I masturbated on purpose last night, trying to do it strictly without fantasy. Before when I would do it, usually fantasy would be involved to some extent at least, but the last few times that I had done it, the fantasy that I used had been particularly strong. Using no fantasy, I felt much less guilt than had I used fantasy, but I'm not sure that I felt no guilt at all. I had a few thoughts afterward about the proper place the sexual appetite. I don't think I will do it again though.
  3. Confused

    Confused New Member

    I guess you are trying to learn through the experience.......sounds like you did.......just need to be careful it doesn't lead to more......stay strong!
  4. BreakingtheHabit

    BreakingtheHabit New Member

    I think doing some experimenting with masturbation is normal as part of rebooting. People try all sorts of different stuff. I don't think any consistent verdict is out on what its effects are but I wouldn't be concerned. Literally the worst thing that happens is it makes you crave porn, in which case you get some practice pushing past cravings.
  5. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    I've been reading a bit more about the nature of addiction in general. From what I can tell, the key definition is that addiction is some behavior done in order to stop oneself from feeling a certain emotion, or avoid certain thoughts or actions.

    I'm a little bit skeptical of reading some of this psychology stuff. They all seem quite sure of themselves, yet advice and therapy techniques are constantly changing. It reminds me of things you hear about food. For example one year some fat or some vitamin or some other thing is suddenly in the vogue; the next year the nutritionists aren't sure again. Well it seems it's sort of like that with masturbation and what not. The most dire warnings have been given about it, then people said it was no big deal, it's been suggested that it's only ok when done a particular way etc. It's a though they've just mixed and matched the answers at random.
    Oh, well. My objective is to avoid addictive behaviors. I'd like to continue doing more reading on the subject. It really seems to me YBOP is only half of what's going on. That was primarily "positive" i.e. "My brain craves dopamine therefore I will do ____ activity." It seems there should be a negative side too, and perhaps a stronger negative side than positive, i.e. "I want to avoid _____ therefore I will do ____ to avoid ____."
  6. BreakingtheHabit

    BreakingtheHabit New Member

    That's a great insight and very true. I think the jury's still totally out about the nature of this type of addiction and in some areas there's no consensus at all. This leaves some room for personal exploration of the information that's out there as well as your own personal experience.

    Regarding the positive and negative sides - I know for me it was both. I wanted the blast of dopamine because it (temporarily) felt good. But I also used porn binging to run away from/self medicate for stress and loneliness. I used the temporary natural high to numb myself against anxieties and other negative emotions. I used the intimacy in porn to provide myself a temporary shot of fake intimacy. Took me awhile to really come to terms with those aspects of the addiction.
  7. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    For me the "negative" may be the side I need to change more.
  8. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    week 23, 6/16 - 6/22 data ------> explanation here
    W23D1: SI4 - D2 - B1 - Sp3 - N3 - A4 - PA2 - S7.
    W23D2: SI4 - D1 - B3 - Sp3 - N5 - A4 - PA4 - S7.
    W23D3: SI5 - D1 - B3 - Sp4 - N5 - A4 - PA5 - S7.
    W23D4: SI4 - D1 - B3 - Sp3 - N5 - A4 - PA2 - S8.
    W23D5: SI3 - D1 - B3 - Sp2 - N4 - A4 - PA2 - S6.
    W23D6: SI5 - D1 - B2 - Sp3 - N5 - A4 - PA5 - S7.
    W23D7: SI3 - D2 - B2 - Sp3 - N4 - A4 - PA2 - S6.
  9. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    I'm feeling really good. Things are easy right now.
    It's always easy when I'm feeling good. It's when I'm feeling not so good that I need to have things under control.
  10. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    Anybody read Out of the Shadows: understanding sexual addiction?
  11. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    This post is going to be ... bad, maybe depressing, but it's come to my mind more often recently:

    Pieter Bruegel the Elder's The Blind Leading the Blind
    This visualizes my need for help, specifically my need to seek help from those who are not suffering the same addiction I am, or to seek it from those who have "received their sight" viz. those who have walked this path before me.
  12. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    A slew of thoughts for today, but perhaps with this result: The addict is starved of certain health giving things, chiefly of self-respect and of true, loving relationships. We need these to exercise discipline and function normally. Otherwise the tendency will be toward addiction to numb the pain.
  13. kees

    kees Who took the cool out of the coolidge effect?

    Hear hear!

    And where did you find that pixelated copy of that painting? Who made it? It looks rather European.
  14. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    That is Pieter Bruegel's The Blind Leading the Blind.
  15. freisein

    freisein New Member

    Hi Andersman,

    thanks for reading my journal. I have just read the introduction to yours and downloaded the sermons mentioned there.

    These are my favorite sermons which helped me a lot. I strongly recommend them.

    Wish you many successful no PMO days!
  16. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    Thanks Freisein. I'll take a look at that.
  17. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    Tough day ( not in terms of reboot ) just because of the unpredictability of life. I'm learning that I've got to have self-respect, respect for the things that need to be done, and for what those around me are trying to do, in order for me to have control over the little things in life that end up influencing a large part of life.

    Also I'm beginning to get a clearer picture of my addiction cycle. I tend to go for a reasonable amount of time with no trouble, then slip into a time during which it is hard for me to stay away from porn for more than a week or so. I think I'm moving into one of those reprieves. I don't want to repeat the cycle. Once it becomes difficult again, I might be able to go one day at a time with MUCH help.
  18. FindingSanctuary

    FindingSanctuary One foot before the other.

    I have been thinking quite a bit about your post of Bruegel's painting here - it speaks to me, yet there is a part of me that wants to object:
    Of course, when the blind leads the blind, you may end up walking in circles... I get that. And in many ways, the "circles" here, made up of us blind, addicted people may, have the danger that we make each other feel better while we're stumbling around...
    However there is another part to it: I believe people who do not know how it is to be blind may have no idea about how hard it is to walk behind someone who does not have trouble with their eyesight. How dangerous certain "obstacles" may be - while the "leader" walks easily around them... Yes: the person who sees may actually be blind for many real dangers and challenges for the one who doesn't see. The "eyes for blindness" are missing.
    So who can be "our guide"? Ideally, as you state, people who have walked this path before us - but who are ahead of us. While "ahead" might be a difficult thing to define again.
    In many different faith traditions, there is the concept of the "wounded healer". And while people with too many open wounds might be way too self-absorbed to be of much help to anyone, I believe that good leaders at least need to have some scars.
  19. Daimon

    Daimon Member

    The same generally happens to me once I manage to attain a certain amount of time away form P as well. I think a way to be able to handle those 'reprieves' is to stay around your family (or just people really) as much as you can. Perhaps it would do yo well to join a Youth group or do some volunteering at your church on the weekdays if you can't find a better alternative (assuming you haven't already done so).
  20. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    week 24, 6/23 - 6/29 data ------> explanation here
    W24D1: SI4 - D2 - B1 - Sp3 - N4 - A4 - PA2 - S7.
    W24D2: SI3 - D2 - B3 - Sp3 - N4 - A3 - PA2 - S8.
    W24D3: SI3 - D1 - B3 - Sp4 - N5 - A4 - PA4 - S?.
    W24D4: SI5 - D1 - B5 - Sp3 - N4 - A4 - PA3 - S7.
    W24D5: SI4 - D3 - B4 - Sp3 - N4 - A4 - PA5 - S8.5
    W24D6: SI5 - D1 - B3 - Sp3 - N4 - A4 - PA5 - S8.
    W24D7: SI3 - D5 - B1 - Sp1 - N2 - A4 - PA5 - S8.

Share This Page