New Life Now

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by TheAndersMan, Nov 24, 2012.

  1. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    I agree, and amen. 1 Cor. 10.12!
    Thanks for taking a look at my journal. I'm trying to write it so that it's as useful to others as possible, even though I know few people can take the time to read an entire journal.
     
  2. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    Yes, exactly!! That's the kind of thinking I had to get rid of!
     
  3. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    Physically things are tougher... Feels like I'm in week two again. Oh right, I nearly forgot as far as MO is concerned I just finished another two weeks and this is the start of week 3 MO free. So I can probably expect urges until ... who knows?
    This is the hardest part of rebooting for me. I was really glad to never watch porn again. It's nasty and the industry is nasty. Thankfully I've come to terms with that, and I've never wanted to go back to it since beginning this reboot.
    But MO is physical, and I've physically trained my body to expect it for a long time. And training works! ... I guess that's good news and it's time to start training for something else.
     
  4. SinkingSailor

    SinkingSailor New Member

    Sorry to hear things might feel a bit rough, but you've gotta be making good progress with that much time away from PMO. Keep going man, we're starting new lives here, so it's gonna be tough, but take time to remind yourself of all you'll gain.
     
  5. JerseyJay911

    JerseyJay911 New Member

    AndersMan, I think you are on the right track, and you may even be close to getting healed. I'm rooting for you man!
     
  6. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    Thanks for the reassurance guys, that means a lot to me, and I will do my best to return the favor whenever you need my support.
    I have definitely leaped a hurdle today. The reasons I decided no MO haven't changed, and I'm closer to reaching my goals.
    I did take some time to think about the path I want to follow in life. I saw the fork in the road. One path is sexual and self indulgence. The other path is self-control and contains self sacrifice. Both paths yield their own results, which are quite different to say the least.
    Thanks again, and I wish you all the best of success :)
     
  7. MsbtNnoPorn

    MsbtNnoPorn Tryin to control.

    Ya man!! I forget often to look at the pattern of the path. Thanks for the reminding. I def do not want a furture resulting in flesh desire.
     
  8. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    3/4 final exams done today. Looking forward to Christmas break :)
     
  9. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    Sorry for two meaningless posts guys, but this made me laugh: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw
     
  10. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    Well, it's Christmas break! I'm really feeling that I need to cut down on time online esp. fb and forums. So I'll be here a little less frequently. I'll still check in, but I haven't decided how often yet. (Does anyone suggest a good interval?)

    Things are going well with this reboot. I have gone 30 something days no P and about 20 no MO. Why not finish no MO December, then keep going? :D

    I really want to keep adding useful resources. Maybe even move them to a separate thread so they're separate from the journal.

    Anyway, Thanks again for your support guys. All is well!

    Keep being free!
     
  11. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    Full Member! Thank you very much!
     
  12. FindingSanctuary

    FindingSanctuary One foot before the other.

    Congrats on your success! :)
    I struggle with the same thing. On one hand I'm kinda glad I'm not on here that often anymore as in my first couple days, but actually focus on a life outside of this forum, but then again it's so important to stay on track - and to remind myself of my patterns, my triggers, and the very basic: that every day is day 1. So yeah, I need this forum, at least as a discipline to keep on keeping on.
    Blessings to you!
     
  13. MrSexlexia

    MrSexlexia New Member

    Thought I'd pay your journal a visit :). Keep at it AndersMan, you're nearly halfway to your goal of 80 days. Don't let up!
     
  14. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    Hey fellas, thanks again for reading my journal and giving your support. I appreciate that.

    How dare I not call this a USEFUL RESOURCE POST

    I just wanted to post two links onto my journal because I've found myself sharing these links with several people on the forum in the past several days, and I really do think these two threads are among the most useful that I've ever read. So here they are:

    http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/im-going-reveal-you-1-secret-overcome-pornography-addiction

    and:

    http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=4922.0

    Just keep being free!
     
  15. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    Today is good. I'm having flashbacks and a temptation to fantasize. But I just need to remember what my purpose is :)

    Also, I found these articles shared by Brandon Jones (author of All Woman and Springtime) on his fb page. It's so so important to realize the harm that sexual abuse causes. For example:

    http://news.yahoo.com/dozens-indonesian-girls-friended-facebook-men-kidnap-them-161635006.html

    and

    http://news.yahoo.com/argentine-mom-rescues-hundreds-sex-slaves-221110530.html
     
  16. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    I had a relapse today. It was quick and painful (to my pride, that is).... Obviously, I left some wiggle room in my mind... and that's never a good thing.

    It was the no MO that was difficult. I've just been physically trained to it. Like I've mentioned before, my focus is on stopping porn, but I also believe that MO is a problem. I guess since this relapse, I'm not really sure what to do with MO....

    I'll consider allowing occasional MO (without P of course) , so I don't go crazy and seek any visual stimulus (as I did when I relapsed).
    This was an old way of thinking. Now I realize that the physical urges can be greatly reduced or eliminated by controlling the mind, not allowing fantasy, inappropriate sexual thoughts. (updated March 2, 2013.)

    I sort of thought wet dream would take the place of MO and give some release... At one point I even tried to lucid dream to help things along a little. There was this lady who was supposed to be there... but she never showed up! I was like, "hey lady, come back. I think your supposed to be here!" Well, that didn't work out, and I never did wet dream... I guess I got impatient.

    Of course I'm very disappointed, and I wish I had not relapsed at all. But, what I did is what I did. And I can only move forward from here. Of course my long term goals remain the same: I want to be free from P, M, and sexual fantasy so that I can concentrate on a life not dominated by sexual things right now, and enjoy a healthy sex life if I marry.

    So, in the end, I'm sorry I relapsed, but this was also the most comedic relapse I've ever experienced! I just had to laugh a little afterward! And also it's the only relapse I've had that has not caused me to lose sight of my goals :)

    Oh, I forgot to mention, but of course I need to reset my PMO tracker. I will do that as soon as I can. I have forgotten my password to update the tracker... fail.
    See guys... It's just all-around easier not to relapse! haha.

    I set my new goal as 37 days (80 - 43) that way I finish my original 80 day goal without another relapse.
     
  17. FindingSanctuary

    FindingSanctuary One foot before the other.

    Sorry to read of your relapse, AM! Did you watch P, or just MO?
    Don't beat yourself up too much - but beware of the chaser. Get back on the horse. We're all in this together!
    Blessings, friend.
     
  18. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    Yes, P was involved for a few mins. So it was a pretty full relapse. So of course I was disappointed. But this relapse did not cause me to lose sight of my goals, as has been the case in the past. So of course I'm determined to keep going.
    Thanks for the reply and for keeping up with my journal FS. I appreciate it!
     
  19. Daimon

    Daimon Member

    Sorry that you relapsed, man. But hey, despite this small setback, you've still definitely made a ton of progress. Like FindingSanctuary said, beware the chaser. Since you've just had a release and it's been such a long time, your brain's going to be craving that dopamine rush. Stay focused and ignore that potential craving.
     
  20. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    I'm not used to having free time like this. Free time makes things harder. I'm going to have to start filling my time with good things - I've got to account for a lot more time now with Christmas break here. I got "lost" in youtube so I'm resetting my counter again.
    Now, marching on! (Carefully!) :)
     

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