New Life Now

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by TheAndersMan, Nov 24, 2012.

  1. SinkingSailor

    SinkingSailor New Member

    Keep going man. I've been having a time with this myself. But I read something on here the other day that reminded me that I have improved. I used to do PMO everyday. Now I average like 4-5 times a month! For my brain, which incorrectly learned that sex involved porn and my hand, that's huge! Sure, it's not the perfect reset that I'd like to have, but I'm feeling better than I ever have before. And if I keep going then I can only look forward to the future and discovering who I really am. I can't speak for you, but I'd be willing to bet you've got bright things ahead too if you keep going. Stay strong dude!
  2. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    Glad to see you are back TheAndersMan!

    Don't ever feel shy about coming back here. I think I said before my recovery has been about 4 years in the making, so slips are part of the big picture.

    Your doing well just getting back on the horse.

    Be good to yourself.
  3. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    week 17: nonsense and mostly bad.
  4. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    week 18, 5/12 - 5/18 data ------> explanation here
    W18D1: SI4 - D1 - B4 - Sp5 - N3 - A4 - PA2 - S7.
    W18D2: SI4 - D1 - B4 - Sp5 - N4 - A5 - PA4 - S7.
    W18D3: SI5 - D1 - B4 - Sp5 - N4 - A5 - PA5 - S8.
    W18D4: SI3 - D2 - B4 - Sp5 - N4 - A4 - PA2 - S8.
    W18D5: SI4 - D1 - B3 - Sp5 - N3 - A5 - PA2 - S?.
    W18D6: SI3 - D1 - B3 - Sp5 - N3 - A5 - PA4 - S6.5.
  5. EFS White

    EFS White Member

    Hey, Andersman. Good to know you are still aboard and right back in the game. I know exactly how you feel: I've had a sort of 50% slip-up just days ago, and what I felt most ashamed and thankful about was owning up to my bad choice and come here and hold myself fully accountable. How bad was your relapse? Hours upon hours of binging?

    I am still trying to deliberate whether or not to reset my counter, as I am super afraid that once I do I will binge and MO immediately.

    Maybe this helps: What was your strongest distinct moment when you felt positive improvements from NO PMO? — For me it was a session with my (brutally sexy) vocal coach, where I felt confident, calm and magnetic around her, where just months ago I probably couldn't have looked a woman as attractive as her straight in the eye. My best reason right now not to allow myself further borderline behavior is that I want to keep and replicate and further improve this amazing feeling, keep and continue to build my magnetism and masculinity.

    Hope you find some similar experience you've had, something to model your future after and help you through the tough and tempting moments.

    Keep it up, Andersman. Remember you are "anders als die anderen". ;)
  6. Thanks for your info AndersMan.

    If your attitude is a 4 out of 5, then the rest will surely follow :)
  7. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    Well, EFS, the "binge" was there. I can't deny that. I spent plenty of time "in search mode." I'll get in trouble if I begin looking for any form of perfection in the erotic itself.

    As to whether it's best to restart a counter for small, or half slips, I don't really know. I've never reset my counter for a "small slip" unless I had just reset it recently anyway. However, if I had reset my counter at the first "small slip," which for me happened around day 98 as I recall, perhaps I never would have gone back to porn or masturbation in any significant way. In the future, I don't want to have such a care about what the counter says. After all, mine is set up to say "since I last viewed p" not "since I last pmo'd" Mine is meant to catch the "little things."
    What was my best moment? I don't look at any particular moment as my best. All the moments I've stayed away from p have been good moments. I can't serve two masters.
  8. Chammorrow

    Chammorrow Member

    That's why I don't really keep a counter in my signature after a certain amount of days, no need for a constant reminder, the best reboots are the ones where you forget that you're doing a reboot..when it becomes second nature for you to not lust and to not wander will the time where you have recovered. It's tough road of course, but everything of worth is worth some effort.
  9. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    I tend to agree with you on that Cham. Perhaps I'll make some change regarding the counter at some point, but not yet. I'd like to have it somewhere, but maybe not in such a prominent spot.
  10. Monkey

    Monkey Everyday is a success.

    I also agree with what Cham said. Eventually I will ditch the counter (but not disable it), then maybe every once in a while ill check it out. To me right now, however, it's more of a reminder of how far I have come than how far I have left to go.

    Glad to see you back on your feet Anders. I expect you are now ready to kick some PMO butt. :) good luck!
  11. For me the counter is a simple reminder of the commitment I've made, to myself, to God, to my wife, to everyone on this forum. It's a reminder to me of the reality of that commitment, and the fact that it's a commitment, one on which I must not turn back, just like a commitment to go to work every morning or to be faithful to my wife.

    But having said that, the man whose counter is on 2 or 20 days or 1 hour might actually have more wisdom than the guy who has a counter of 75 or 350. We'll never know. Only God can judge what is truly going on inside of a person.

    So what matters AndersMan is whatever is going on inside you now, between you and your Maker.

    And as far as I can tell via this internet medium, it seems that what is going on is good. In that case, all is well. "It is well with my soul."

  12. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    This week's subjective summary.
    Apparently some once held this view of marriage: "a partnership for mutual help, for the preservation of chastity, and for the transmission of life."
  13. fugu

    fugu "You know, feelin' good, livin' betta." :) Staff Member

    Hey TheAndersMan, I've seen you've been struggling with P recently and just wanted to drop by and say I'm rooting for you and I know it's only a matter of time before you're on the path for good and this won't be a problem for you. Take care man.
  14. Daimon

    Daimon Member

    Hey, AndersMan! Been a minute since I last posted on your journal. I see you hit a stumbling block a few days ago. No worries, man. You were doing great before, and I'm sure you'll continue to do so!
  15. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    This week's subjective summary.
    Hey Daimon. Thanks for stopping by.

    I'm just back from SCF. As always plenty of food for thought there and questions and that make me reconsider my thoughts, actions, and beliefs.

    Have a good day, men.

    To battle!
  16. Daimon

    Daimon Member

    To battle! Huzzah! *Raises sword*
  17. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    Another great podcast from my main man!
  18. Monkey

    Monkey Everyday is a success.

    Glad to see you are almost five days in porn free. Nice work! Keep up te good progress.
  19. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    Subjective Summary
    Another good day looking for the daily and hourly pittance to meet the daily and hourly need.
  20. Living in grace while simultaneously making the right choices.

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