New Journal - Taking Responsibility

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by diz, Sep 28, 2023.

  1. diz

    diz Member

    DAY 8 no PMO

    I went to a spiritual place today as I occasionally do, I am not big into religion but have some really good friends there and its chilled. They do not ram a bible down your throat which is pointless.

    I saw a guy who I've known for a year. He has been single since I've known him. He was sat with what I now found out is now his girlfriend, and I was full of envy. Then there is another couple who I see and do not know, they are great together, and the woman is stunning. Again, I get this real yearning when I see her.

    A part of me is happy for them truly, and it also tells me how much I would like more human interaction and to meet someone new. This has been my story before. I want to meet this natural human need, but not rush into some lustful escapade again. I REALLY want this to be DIFFERENT

    Last time I went online dating (for like the 8th attempt) I vowed to never to use it again, never ever. I have kept meeting crazies on there, certainly the last 2. But not sure how else I should meet someone. This is why I was envious of my friend, bam there he meets someone and starts dating. Probably be married in 12 months, it's that kind of vibe I am not even kidding.

    I feel like there is a time for things, a time for solitude, a time for study, a time for growth, and I wonder if the time is now for these things as I make this big change in habits. I do have a chunk of work to finish.

    Though my energy is really really up. I nearly told myself "I need to masturbate, I have to" and then climbed back from the cliff edge thankfully and went to sleep. I just read the no arousal reboot method and this helped. I know it is the wrong thing to MO. This just leads to more lonliness.

    So, if anyone wants to comment about meeting someone, please do. I am willing to hear what the universe would have me know to help my in my journey. I really would.

    Here's to day 9.

    NO Gaming 14 days
    NO web browsing in bedroom 6 days

    Sick of it! The pixels and clicks tricking the foxtrot out of the brain.

    All I am really longing for is human interaction, but I am fooling myself into believing its real.

    Congrats getting to day 2!

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