Im new here. I been using reboot nation since February and have only realized about this addiction problem about a year now. I am 43 and married for 12 years and have kids. My addiction started when I was in my teens with magazines and obviously got worse in time with videos and then the internet. About 3 yrs ago I was having an affair and got caught. I know what I did was wrong and I am to blame for my actions but part of me believes that porn drove me to this affair. The internet is never ending and you explore forever and that's how I got caught up in that stupid site (Ashley Madison) and I was getting pleasure from the women that would respond to me and eventually met a lady and had a relationship with her. All that bull shit set aside now, my wife found out and we have been doing counselling since. During counselling I come to understand that I had a sex addiction problem and that's how I ended up here, and glad I'm here. In July of 2016 I met with a therapist who deals with sex addicts and told me to just stay off the P (along with other helpful advice) and I did till around the end of December and I had my first relapse. For about a month after I would PMO every couple of days here and there until our couple therapist told me about reboot nation and since the first week of February I been clean. I have experienced the brain fog , the dead dick, low libito, and some withdrawals. I been clean for the 90 days and it's been a hard reboot, no M, no O, nothing! My wife isn't ready to have sex with me yet so the hard reboot was helpful that way, but when and how do I start to introduce a sexual relationship with her again? When do I know when I am healed of this sickness and when do I start to have a healthy sexual relationship with her? I try all the time to be sexual with her and she is not ready and I understand that but at the same time I'm getting rejected and that's a tough pill to swallow, it almost makes me want to relapse or at least just to get the edge off, but I haven't! I can't help myself sometimes, I catch myself looking at other women on the streets or on a tv commercial. Fuck I'm just so horny and don't know what to do at times. That's part of my journey for now, I'll be more then happy to share more with you guys as the journey continues.