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Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by badger, Oct 29, 2020.

  1. badger

    badger Active Member

    day 3 of no pmo. new to forum. getting my bearings and finding my way around. 65 yo. addicted for over 50 yrs. thank you
     
    axebattler likes this.
  2. Mad Dog

    Mad Dog Well-Known Member

    Welcome aboard lots of info here.
     
  3. badger

    badger Active Member

    thank you. i have recovered from alcoholism. been sober over 17 yrs. mostly AA but more rational recovery. tried the 12 steps for pmo addiction. just can't get more than a few wks clean before relapsing. will keep trying till i get it.
     
  4. Jethro

    Jethro New Member

    Hey Badger,
    Great to see there are guys in their 60's here trying to recover. Like you I am also 65 years old and I've been addicted to porn in all it's various forms for over 50 years. When I think of all of time wasted, instead of living my life I was buried in the mire of darkness that porn forces us to exist in. The isolation, the lies, the shame and the self loathing, and we are powerless to do anything about it. Like you, I will also keep trying till I get it, if I can help in any way, please don't hesitate to ask. praying for you brother.
     
    Rudolf Geyse likes this.
  5. badger

    badger Active Member

    thanks Jethro,
    the shame and self loathing, that;s me. the main thing is we are not powerless. i choose to do this. working on ways not to choose the smut. the day is almost over and i can call it a victory. no pmo. hang in there. i am. if there is breath in me there is hope. praying for you.
     
  6. Jethro

    Jethro New Member

    Hi Badger,
    Thanks for replying, like you, I can call yesterday a victory, no pmo, no porn of any description, so yeah, it's a good feeling. My day here in the UK is just beginning, and there are dangers to watch out for, but, if I am as vigilant and careful as yesterday, there is no reason to think that the end result will be anything less than yesterday,......a victory. I wish you the best brother, keep on punching my friend.
     
  7. badger

    badger Active Member

    super vigilance is my mantra for now-everyday. no pmo has to be my highest and number 1 priority for now. even if i have to think about it every minute i will. seems contradictory, but if i am not busy doing something else and a porn thought comes into my mind, i think of all the hurt and pain is has caused me. the pleasure for a few seconds and the pain forever. have to play the whole tape in my head not just the extreme dopamine rush at climax. is it worth it? i ask myself. so far has not been. hang in there.
     
  8. Jethro

    Jethro New Member

    Hi Badger,

    That's a good plan you have there!, I like it very much. It takes one of two emotions to face your fears head on; courage, desperation or both. And a whole lot more besides too numerous to mention. Reliving all the hurt and pain versus the few moments of pleasure, and the dopamine rush at orgasm, you asked yourself the right question; is it worth it?. Not only did you ask the question, you came up with the right answer. Keep on punching, your walking on the right path, onwards and upwards brother, praying for you still.
     
    Bilbo Baggins likes this.
  9. badger

    badger Active Member

    Jethro,
    how's it going. we old fogies need to hang in there. praying for you brother.
     
  10. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    You're doing great, Badger. 103 days is a significant accomplishment.
     
    Bilbo Baggins likes this.
  11. breath

    breath Member

    glad to see older guys writing in here..i'm 57 marriage had dead years is way better now.. some doubts about it still, maybe always, but also a lot of great things and reasons to stick with it... in life we get back what we put in... at least often it seems...no moral problem with porn, except that it is a lonely way to dissipate our energy... better to put that energy into a relationship I think... I wanna stop using it.... my career would have probably taken of more so if i hadn't wasted that much chi on porn. not too late>? i'll try
     
  12. badger

    badger Active Member

    thanks saville,
    always learning from you and everyone else on this forum. hanging in there. i need to change everything about my routine and habits. if nothing changes, nothing changes. thanks again.
     
    Saville likes this.
  13. badger

    badger Active Member

    Jethro,
    how you doing? haven't heard from you in a while?
     
  14. forlorn

    forlorn Well-Known Member

    Addiction such a deceptive thing. It can feel like it is genetic or a given which creates the impression that it's somehow incurable. But it's important to recognize that it was of course learned behavior. If you achieved 17 years free of alcohol you can do this too. Having a shake up of your routine and habits sounds like a good plan - did you have anything specific in mind?
     
    Bilbo Baggins likes this.
  15. badger

    badger Active Member

    forlorn,
    you are correct this is learned behavior. the challenge is that it is very deeply ingrained. i have been doing it for decades. so it is not going to change by next tuesday. i need to daily concentrate on new habits, new behaviors. we are empty nesters so i have a lot of free time. i waste too much of it on TV and you tube-which gets me in trouble with my addiction. these are the 2 activities after work i need to change. learning piano so that's a start. love to read but don't as much as i would like to. it is much easier to sit in front of TV and be lazy. working on it. thanks for the shout out. hang in there. praying for you.
     
    Bilbo Baggins likes this.
  16. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    We do need to change our habits, for sure, but also we have to recognize, I think, that there is tremendous value in who we are. Sometimes I find myself watching too much TV and I will say, without judgment, "maybe I should read/go for a walk/write in my journal." 16 days is awesome, man!
     
    Bilbo Baggins likes this.

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