New here -My Journey - extreme case !

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by NotSOproud, Jun 17, 2022.

  1. NotSOproud

    NotSOproud New Member

    I'm so fucking bored and have nothing to so I decided to share my journey , it might motivate me or anyone reading it, bet it will be a long one as the addiction I had is (was) kinda severe (20 twenty fking years lost with like every kind of addictions (drugs/porn/alchohol/prostitutes ... you name it i did it)
    I started to think that my other addictions are related to PMO (some brain related shit from all the open tabs across the years , I work online but 400+ tabs is not healthy and must have conciquences,

    what I'm I looking for ? I fucking don't know , it's just tab after tab , it's like I'm looking for something that's isn't there , the more tabs the worst the fetish is , heck I was watching shemales the week before PMO , I never saw that coming , but that was the last fetish to get me excited

    Spent 20 years with a numbed brain that doesn't feel anything , 0 empathy toward anyone .
    Wasn't that type to get a gf and enjoy being with her , I just like hookers , they came, do my dids and that's it , the opposite sex is only a machine to make me orgazm!

    I forgot the meaning of life , I missed laughing , heck even smiling)

    8-12 hours ritual is not normal , waiting for some girl to sleep so I can go watch some porn is not normal

    I stopped everything cold turkey (not smoking though) , and trust me beating cocaine is a piece of cake comparing to this shit , don't know how it's still legal

    In this journey I will post my thoughts , maybe some advices and my symptoms.

    I'm on like day 80 or something, I didn't count well cause I said this is IT, no more porn , there no industry with that name, So no need for me to count, helped at first but turned to alchohol (did quit it after 2 weeks of PMO though)

    Currently in flatline, symptoms:
    The worst depression I ever saw
    No motivation to even brush my teeth
    Head is numbing
    Anxiety
    Tight chest
    Chilling feeling
    Pressure on my teeth
    Ears ringing
    Can't focus
    Agitation (not severe)
    Muscles pain (gone after the second month)
    Heart palpitations (did all tests and everything is fine)
    And the infamous ED


    Guys (especially the youngest) this shit Is real , at first I ridiculouled this (telling myself its just porn , everyone watch porn ! )

    But really get the fuck out of this addiction, it dosent worth it , the consequences are too bad .

    Will continue updating this thread , any support is welcome
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2022
    Henry+ likes this.
  2. NotSOproud

    NotSOproud New Member

    Some 80,s day :
    Have Some feelings that I didn't get since few years , won't blame everything on PMO , but definitely something related
     
    Henry+ likes this.
  3. NotSOproud

    NotSOproud New Member

    This building energy is just ridiculous to describe
     
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2022
    Henry+ likes this.
  4. NotSOproud

    NotSOproud New Member

    Guess I'm getting out of this flatline, that's some good news , have some energy and I can "kinda" focus on stuff ,
    Thinking of edging but fuck that , it's recovery time
     
    Henry+ likes this.
  5. Henry+

    Henry+ New Member

    Hi mate,
    Thanks for sharing.
    Don’t give up. You’ve chosen the best path.
    Keep sharing your thoughts here. It’ll help.
     
    NotSOproud likes this.
  6. NotSOproud

    NotSOproud New Member

    ED back after 3 days , thid sux
    My penis is even shrinking (not delusions) it's like dead , torutule head , wtf
     

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