New Here - Finally Serious About Stopping

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by harvesterofsorrow, Mar 5, 2016.

  1. Saville, you are much appreciated my friend. There's a couple dudes here that really shine in terms of graciousness and leadership. You're one of them. I think I can sum up what is happening to me right now with the very simple statement: I finally want to know what "that guy" -- the guy that doesn't use porn, does not consider porn, doesn't use it as a proxy to actual life -- is like. the real me. the guy that took the left path 20+ years ago when he *knew* there would be reckoning rather than the right. that i met actually meet this guy finally is intoxicating. peace bro...
     
  2. You're falling through the night and giving in to bad dreams,
    where nothing is as it seems.

    There's still a long way to go.

    And the fading glorious night,
    never seems to bring you home.
    You think that this is your road.

    There's still a long way to go.

    I can't give you an A to Z, there's some things I just can't show.
    Just try to disbelieve your eyes;
    For this I surely know - there's a long way to go.

    Like laughing in the dark, to keep the dogs at bay;
    No matter what you might see, there's still a long way to go.

    Cold comfort in the dawn, the dawn that brings you round, a pale light that you found, there's still a long way to go.

    I can't give you an A to Z, there's some things I just can't show.
    Just try to disbelieve your eyes;
    For this I surely know - there's a long way to go.

    You're falling through the night and giving in to bad dreams, where nothing is as it seems.

    There's still a long way to go.

    -- James Dean Bradfield
     
  3. they told me to run but just how far
    can i go wearing the black mask of fear?
    - "Breaking The Silence", Queensryche
     
  4. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Almost back to 30 days, keep it slow and steady, bro.
     
  5. thanks 40...yes, going well. don't feel all that great in general...just life stuff...and drinking too much. but this will pass. and i'm thinking about making the drinking thing a thing of the past as well. haven't done 30 days in a year and half and maybe 5 times in over 20 years. so a big deal. but doesn't feel like it. and that's a GOOD thing. slow and steady indeed. hope you are still in a great place man...two weeks soon :)
     
  6. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    I
    I love this right here! I think we'll find out we're pretty awesome. :D
     
  7. Saville, amen. yes, i think we'll find we are extraordinary and as we defeat this formidable foe, we will realize...is there anything we cannot achieve in this life now??? exciting prospects! :)
     
  8. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I'm on very firm ground and staying clean, again, even though 30 days is a huge victory it's really just the beginning in terms of starting to feel the benefits. This might be one reason why beating porn is hard -- the first month is very difficult with little pay off, only pain.

    I was truly astounded at the benefits at around the 3 month mark, and I felt like there was even more to come. I was definitely not "done".
     
  9. 40 so excited and motivated right now....defintely jazzed by those comments and can't wait to finally reap a *positive* harvest. Been reaping to the wind for so long. Anyway I feel strong right now and can't wait to share those benefits come days 30 through 90 bro...
     
  10. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    The first time I went 30 days I had a huge surge of benefits, but I don't think I had really hit flatline or big withdrawals that time.

    Every reboot is different, which makes it very unpredictable. In two longer reboots I got very noticeable daily benefits at around 80 days in...that's going to be different for you. Could take over 100 days or less than 60, either way when it kicks in you know it because your whole state of mind changes.
     
  11. Can't wait man. I'm 100% committed to this. Will be here everyday to stay strong and safe. 40 keep on being who you are bud....you make a difference. Hope I can hep you in some small way as well.
     
  12. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Thanks, of course you're helping me, we all lift each other up. Psyched to see you breaking out, we'll get there together.
     
  13. I've made so many mistakes
    that I live on street called shame.
    But the sins are the sweetest part
    Now no one's left to blame
    I found out that I have a taste...for the bitter fruit of life.
    Can you hear me? I'm calling to you...
    -- "Bitter Fruit", Blue Rodeo
     
  14. note to self...and if anyone gets something out of it - great!...

    dude, is it possible that the Lord simply lifted the burden of this affliction? i'm starting to wonder if prayer has been answered. i've been praying so long for release from this addiction but i think only really wanted it in my heart of hears the last time i prayed for it 28 days ago. i've never felt this way before. i've never felt so confident. never felt so ambivalent to siren song of P. it's a faint whisper on the wind occasionally rather than the thunderous roar always in my head when i used to go on minor streaks. Lord, i praise you...either way. but i really am wondering if some sliver has been pulled from my mind and heart and psyche. hope so...pray so...
     
  15. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I hope so, my man. Be prepared for some storms, but know that God only makes us go through that shit to make us stronger.
     
  16. Tony74

    Tony74 Guest

    Very happy to hear how you are feeling at this point in your reboot harvester and I have no doubt that God is supporting you on your journey, but just like 40 sayd, stay vigilant. During these good times, really enjoy them and stay mindful to continue doing the things that will support you staying away from PMO as much as possible as the storms usually come back at some point. I look at it like the seasons. There will always be a harvest time, when things are great, and a winter, when things are hard and difficult... and that process shapes us into the men we were created to be if we grow and learn appropriately. Continue to have faith, love yourself, be happy and grateful during these good times, but never let your guard all the way down. Try your best to be prepared for the worst, while having faith for the best...

    But I will never say what God can or cant do, anything is possible... It may be lifted permanently or you may be in a growth spurt so you can continue to get stronger for challenges that lie ahead... Its all a part of the master plan in my opinion.

    At any rate I'm very happy to see you progressing on your journey bro.

    Keep up the great work, one day at a time...
     
  17. 40 & M-man...

    thanks so much for your encouragement and your wisdom regarding being vigilant. absolutely agree. i am definitely not going to let my guard down or tempt fate. was watching a netflix series last night and some nudity entered the picture and i just decided, even though this is a legit show, i don't need to see it. push fast forward. cannot give quarter to this enemy at all. won't.

    i know there will be hard days coming. i know they may come soon. but i believe i will finally have to the armor and weapons to deal with them. pray it's so.

    thanks guys for always being quick to offer some encouragement and necessary caution. it helps. really, really does.
     
  18. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    My pleasure, the part of the brain that thinks PMO is necessary for your survival is very patient and wily. Awareness is your best friend, be aware of stress, your thoughts, and all possible triggers.

    If you've struggling come here and post and definitely get the F away from being alone is my best advice.
     
  19. 40...i 100% concur...so even though i don't feel like i have anything to say that's going to help me or anyone right at this second...i'm here participating by way of this post. commitment has been a major issue for me so i'm going to stay committed to this. accountable. hope your day is going great, all of you...i'm doing well. struggling with some life events/issues but seem to still be in a relatively "safe" place with regard to temptation...
     
  20. Tony74

    Tony74 Guest

    Yes Sir, you are doing well. Like you said, even when you have nothing specifically to say, staying connected keeps you focused and prepared. Developing new habits that keep you in a new place is great. A small change in your daily schedule can be the difference. It may not show right away, but over time, it can break you down... Accountability and consistency are very helpful in creating new habits that support a lifestyle without PMO.
     

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