New Here - Finally Serious About Stopping

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by harvesterofsorrow, Mar 5, 2016.

  1. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I'm just made 8 months and no balloons dropped from the sky welcoming me to the promised land. It takes a long time clean to get all the benefits flowing, they come very slowly and incrementially...sad but so very true, also incredible motivation not to ever fucking relapse.

    Actually don't care what the common wisdom is that one relapse doesn't set you back much...it does. And that's why I ain't ever going back.

    I remember the days of binge and purge...ugly. You're kicking ass, keep it up.
     
    Billy B. likes this.
  2. Rex

    Rex PMO free is the only way it's going to be for me.

    Harvester,

    Wow, 114 days! Keep up the good work! That's the key to beating PMO is not secretly longing to return or in any way having thoughts to rationalize the return. This has been my big problem. I wanted to beat PMO, but down deep I still longed for PMO. This time, no way, I don't need that poison. I have no desire to return to PMO. It's taken me a long time to open my eyes to the fact that porn is just pictures and will never be real and that MO is something even a monkey can do, MO is merely a body function that I don't need to participate in.

    In other words if we can harness the sex drive, take real control of it, and use that energy in other endeavors can you imagine what we can create or do? Famous men like Nikola Tesla, Gandhi, Beethoven, and Leonardo Da Vinci were well known for having complete control of their sex drives, they instead used that sexual energy not in self enjoyment but instead redirected it towards other fruitful endeavors. For instance Tesla invented so many inventions, even today people marvel at how ahead of his time his inventions were. He never wasted his time with porn or MO. Same was true with Gandhi, he had total control over his sex drive and used those energies to defeat the might British Empire.

    Rex
     
  3. 40 and Rex...thanks dudes for the encouragement! Yes, relapses...even small ones...kinda suck. But 40 you've gone so far...I don't feel that small relapse has hurt me...at least emotionally so. Physically? Maybe. I need to get to one month without MO and see what's up there. That's my goal now. Rex, agreed. We are capable of so much without this thorn in our side. We have faced more than those great men ever faced, so keep that in mind. Porn, as far as men go, is the greatest stumbling in the history of sin, I believe. But overcoming IS possible and the rewards are great. So we keep on fighting until we get to the breakthrough. 13 days is nothing to scoff at -- keep it up man! 40, you are a STUD on this forum. We all believe in you. You are an inspiration, man. Solider on, bro...
     
  4. Oneway

    Oneway Active Member

    I believe this is true. Porn is the biggest contributor to the demise of manhood in the history of humankind.

    And yes! Overcoming is possible. The process can be reversed and manhood lost can be restored for all of us.
     
  5. 120 days. 4 months. I'm proud. But not satisfied. Really, I kinda thought 4 months free of this addiction and everything would be right in the world. Far from it. Still jobless (but looking up!)...still no income for last six months...still divorced...still sexless life...but...............I......................am.............................here. And I will stay the course. And tomorrow will bring what it will. Be well guys...
     
  6. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Happy 4th!!!! It gets better.
     
  7. Rex

    Rex PMO free is the only way it's going to be for me.

    Harvester,

    No fear! Don't worry about the future. Put your future in God's hands. Focus on the 4 month victory you have obtained and the many gifts God has given you. It's a bummer when you out of work, I have been there, but remember it's always darkest before the dawn. If you begin to focus on all your current and possible future troubles it will over burden you and could cause you to collapse back into PMO. Focusing and dwelling on these fears in the past has caused me to fall back into PMO when I have tried to break free. I have chronic health problems that have changed my life drastically over the last 6 years. I am not going to worry or dwell on them, I now own them and accept them. My main focus is to stay sober and to pray and hope that my health problems improve the longer I am free from PMO. If they don't well then I accept that. I am not going to let the fears and stresses of life or the future bring me back to PMO.

    This bible passage says it best:

    "Set your hearts on his kingdom first, and on God's saving justice, and all these other things will be given you as well. So do not worry about tomorrow: tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

    - Matthew 6:33-34

    Keep up the Great Work!

    Rex

    ..........
     
  8. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Yeah, I remember a 100-day clean-streak and feeling like nothing had changed.

    I think that's how I fell back into it.

    I'm feeling it now, even, again, a little, at 9o odd days clean.

    Just flat and... that all the effort I've devoted to this clean-streak has had very little benefit.

    What a drag.

    Very teary and low energy, today, me.

    But you know what? I already knew that it wasn't going to solve all my problems.

    And things have changed! They've changed quite a bit.

    Sure, I'm flat today but I noticed only just this weekend gone that I was walkin' tall, feelin' proud and strong. It's not like I never felt that before... but this felt different: cleaner, more powerful.

    Also, having been on the pointy end of other's emotional upsets recently, I noticed that I'm better at managing my own emotional response than I would have been before the re-boot. I'm sure of that.

    What else?

    - I've got a lot more time on my hands!

    - I feel much, much better about if I meet someone special... that I'm in a much better place to explore that.

    - Even rejection is something that effects me less, now that I can't just bury it under a flood of PMO. I have to sit with it, more or less, and the pleasant surprise is that it's not so bad after all. No need to take it personally or even let it drag me down. It can be disappointing, yes. Is it worth agonising over? No.

    Move on.



    Happy to see you staying the course, Harvest.

    Good best of luck with your job-search and other challenges.

    I sometimes, just very occaisionally think "What's the point? PMO will make me feel better..." but the truth is that no challenge is going to be made any easier by being an addict. Even in the short term.

    You're doing great. I'm comin' up behind you time-wise so it's good to be reminded that this game is a long one. Life-long, hopefully.

    Posi-vibes to ya.
     
    GottaChange76 likes this.
  9. 40, Rex and Billy... appreciate you guys. I feel better today. I know it's a lie this idea that a bad behavior will make me feel better. I know this fight is the fight of my life and worth every ounce of perseverance. Part of my "comedown" is the fact that I'm off the pills and booze for a week. The painkillers gave me artificial highs of course that got less and less high and I think my body is simply re-setting to norm. The booze, well, that's never done a damn thing for me other than give me headaches! Opioids, though....very nefarious. I was only back on them for 30 days and they initially make you feel like a better version of yourself but it fades so quickly into pure psychological need....and physical I guess as well although I've never had a hard time running out either. But, like all sins, they are pleasurable for a season and then it's just a bad habit that impacts your life. So here I am 4 months in and back to no hiding places and it's disconcerting. But temporary. It will pass. Thanks dudes and solider on yourselves ! You're all terrific :)
     
    Billy B. likes this.
  10. GottaChange76

    GottaChange76 Member

    Stay strong! Your 121 days clean are an inspiration.
     
    harvesterofsorrow likes this.
  11. Rex

    Rex PMO free is the only way it's going to be for me.

    Harvester,

    Well said! Indeed sin always appears pleasurable, it's not until you fall to it that you realize it's a terrible trap.

    The urges and the temptation are indeed temporarily, they always pass. Keep fighting the good fight you are doing great!

    Not sure what your alcohol drinking situation is, but if you have been drinking heavy for quite some time you will want to taper off alcohol in steps. For some people going cold turkey off of alcohol can be fatal, leading to death like Amy Winehouse who went cold turkey and died (she was only 27 years old). Here's an article that explains this and gives details on how to taper off alcohol:

    http://hams.cc/taper/

    If you are unsure consult with a doctor.

    Stay strong brother!

    Rex
     
  12. Rex, appreciate the comments and concern. Fortunately, my drinking never got chronic. Secretive, yes, but not an every-day-chronic kind of thing. And pretty concentrated for short durations. But I hear ya man. Had a chance to go sneak some beers today and chose not to! Keeping on keeping on my friend...
     
  13. Rex

    Rex PMO free is the only way it's going to be for me.

    Harvester,

    Great job not falling to the temptation of sneaking some beers today, keep on trucking!

    Rex

    .................
     
    harvesterofsorrow likes this.
  14. Congrats on 20 days yourself!
     
  15. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Talk about triggers! I realised I had a bottle of wine in the cupboard, yesterday, and was just now thinkin' how nice it'd be to get a lil' glow on. I rarely drink alone anymore and you've inspired me to keep to that for at lease one more day, Harvest. Thank you! :cool:
     
    harvesterofsorrow likes this.
  16. Awesome! That's fantastic, man! I ONLY drink alone due to some crazy living situations last two years. Too complicated to elaborate on. So, hence, the secretive drinking. A friend of mine once reminded me of an old truth: Nothing good ever comes from drinking. I think that's probably true for a lot, maybe not all. Certainly true of TOO MUCH drinking :)
     
    Billy B. likes this.
  17. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    THAT's a fact. And drinking for the wrong reasons in my particular case: bored. lonely, depressed or just out of habit. No good.
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2017
  18. Haven't checked in a while, gents....sorry about that. Still kicking strong. Just been busy. Finally secured a job and I start soon. No insights. No great drama. Just life in all its banality lately. Keep on keeping on guys...
     
  19. Guy_Stewart

    Guy_Stewart Well-Known Member

    Just stopping by to offer a word of encouragement!

    Huh, I thought of just writing some random word and leaving it at that, but *shakes head* that would have only been funny to me!

    Instead: Keep working on your IMPRESSIVE streak! I am far behind you, but you're one who is blazing the trail. Thank you for that!
     

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