TRIGGER WARNING This is my first post here. I am hoping someone please explain to me the why the urges are so bad every time I try stop? How do you overcome them? I can’t do more than 2 or 3 days without losing my mind. I see some people get it over 200 days. How is that possible when I can’t do 2 days? I think I have a particularly bad case and not going to be able to overcome this. Because mine is a very bad femdom addiction, for as long as I have known and keeps getting worse. it started when I was 7 or 8 and now I am in my 30’s with my life destroyed and PIED. It started with Porn and then the last 10 years it has also progressed to real life situations with Dommes and the like. I have spent many years serving quite a few woman as a slave, spending thousands on them, doing all sorts of domestic and personal service related things for them. 2 of them have controlled every aspect of my life over the last 5 years including my finances. They have humiliated degraded and beat the hell of me. No matter how hard I try to stop the thoughts, the Porn and the urges to see them I find it impossible. It is very frustrating to want so badly to regain a normal sexual health and normal life but being so helpless. I think my Brain is completely destroyed cuss I don’t look at woman the same way. Nothing that would normally turn a man on does it for me. It is only being degraded, whipped, caged, treated like an animal, used a toilet slave, all this really hardcore stuff that consumes my mind nonstop. I only actually view woman as these superior Goddesses now and feel incredibly submissive and Inferior to them, like it is there right to torture me and force me into mental and physical slavery to them. I believe a lot of of my addiction was made worse by one of these woman who used to entertain my foot fetish but in the process used to humiliate me and quite literally whip me to a bloody pulp. She used to restrain me at her feet and make me worship them for hours with a whip over my back. My apologizes for this being a bit graphic and hope i am not triggering anyone, but my point in saying this went on for years and I think it did some psychological damage to me cause it is all I can think about. I think she instilled some type of unhealthy mindset of slavery and worship to woman that is not productive in real life. I sort of feel like i was brainwashed and now doomed to crave this type of treatment and humiliation. Is it different when you have experienced it in real life and also porn vs. just porn? Has anyone tried any sort of alternative healing, like seeing a shaman or seeing someone who can perform rituals to cleanse you of this stuff? I never in a million years thought I would look into crazy stuff like this but I am getting desperate for help. I really do want to turn things around but I think the damage may be done.