NEVER AGAIN

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Gonnabeatthis, Nov 3, 2013.

  1. Kimchi

    Kimchi New Member

    What I'm trying to say, is that you don't need to wait until everything is sorted out to get into a relationship. If you find the right person, go for it. It will make things much easier, rewiring is just one more extra that you get. I'm not saying you should find a girl just so you can rewire, I'm saying you should try to find the girl you want to share the rest of your life with. You can still make bonds with that woman, while you work on your pelvic floor problems. And then when the time is right, you can try to have sex knowing that if you fail it won't be a big deal, because she will understand. That is what ultimately will make the difference, and let you get over the PA that inevitably will come after you are cured from PIED. Unfortunately this is how our brains work, if you go in bed with a woman just for sex and to test if your PIED is gone, chances are you are going to get anxious to see if there is an improvement, and PA will make you think you still have PIED, leading to more PA. This is why it is VITAL, to take it easy at first, and go in with the mindset that it might not work this time, but will sometime in the future if you keep rewiring.

    Ask yourself this: Why am I doing a reboot? I guess it's not because you can't have sex with hookers or you can't go out with a girl and have sex with her on the same day. I suppose you are worried that in the future when you actually have a long term partner you will have problems and want them fixed. Find that person first, and your reboot will fire up like you wouldn't imagine
     
  2. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I agree with kimchi, you should start moving the directions of attracting females, instead of waiting around. One day everything will snap into place.
     
  3. Gonnabeatthis

    Gonnabeatthis New Member

    I ate a hash cookie yesterday - the last one was about 14 years ago.
    It was a really nice feeling. I got really relaxed and many of my tense muscles relaxed completely.
    And, I had the best erection I had in ages, about 95% hard. So obviously I am capable physically... but I didn't feel much when I touched my dick...

    And I have pain in the area around my prostate, I think it is inflammed. Or I have a tumor. :p
    Still haven't seen a uro, but to my defense the pain is a rather new symptome. I don't know what holds me back seeing a doctor...

    Maybe I am afraid of his reaction when I tell about my shitty decisions in life and he hears about my stupid little theory of porn addiction...
    Anyway since I have pain I am more determined then ever to get an appointment really soon.
     
  4. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Marijuana acts as a natural anti inflammatory, others on other forums have commented on how it very positively effected hard flaccid issues. I have found that lots of ginger root does something similar, as well as going easy on coffee and alcohol. Any natural anti inflammation food can be a positive. PMO and over MO puts our bodies in a state of sympathetic dominance which can take a long time to balance out.
     
  5. Gonnabeatthis

    Gonnabeatthis New Member

    Hm, I feel mentally weakened today, maybe this is the down feeling after the high yesterday.
    My balls also retracted a bit. But one positive effect is that the tension in my muscles went away by a lot.

    I don't know if the marijuana had a good or a bad effect on my recovery. I would like to hear from the community what's the right thing to do.
    Can marijuana heal the damage from PMO in any form? Or is the dopamin/serotonin spike bad for you?

    Next week I am at a wedding and there will be weed; I'll probably smoke one when I am there.

    Anyways, that is not the big news. The big news is that I have an appointment at the urologist for wednesday.

    I hope he can find something curable. ;D
    I think somethings up with my prostate, but maybe I am just interpreting this.

    Could also be my nervous system that is fucked up, but if this is the case I know an urologist won't make this diagnosis.
     
  6. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Can marijuana heal the damage from PMO in any form? Or is the dopamin/serotonin spike bad for you?

    My vote is no, and no. Guys have recovered from PMO addiction while smoking, but it's probably not ideal. Marijuana relieves
    inflammation in the pelvis but there are other options as well.

    Give the natural anti inflammatory foods a try for relaxing your pelvic muscles, they really work. Let me know.
     
  7. Gonnabeatthis

    Gonnabeatthis New Member

    I am so stupid.

    A friend of mine wrote: "What happened to pants? Every woman wears yoga pants nowadays" and I answered that yoga pants on women look hot.
    He said no and I googled "yoga pants" to show him he is wrong... Big mistake.

    I surfed the results for a minute, got a boner and now I have this restless feeling in my head that I think stems from PMO...

    I'm afraid to go to bed now, because I don't want to get a wet dream...
     
  8. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Relax, man. A wet dream won't do shit to your progress.

    Yes, you're surfing triggered arousal in your porn circuit, big deal, it was only for a minute. Live and learn, and don't do it again, you're fine.
     
  9. Gonnabeatthis

    Gonnabeatthis New Member

    Today I had this weak mental state like in the beginning of my recovery.

    You know what I mean, can't look anybody in the eyes (not that bad this time though) etc.

    Wonder if this is a reaction to my minute surfing yesterday or to the marijuana high I had...
     
  10. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    It was just the surfing and it will past very fast, been through this before. One to three days maximum, really.
    But it shows you how powerful anything 2D is on our fragile brain, so be vigilant.
     
  11. Gonnabeatthis

    Gonnabeatthis New Member

    Recap of the doctors appointment:

    The doc took my problems seriously, he didn't just laugh them off, which was a big plus.

    Told him about my compulsive behavior and that I have ED now.
    He checked my urine for inflammation indicators (there were none) and he checked my genitals with this ultrasonic device.

    He told me that physically, everything is alright with me. Good news and bad news alike, I guess.

    His guess why I had dick shrinkage etc. was that my sympathetic/parasympathetic nerve system is messed up because the compulsive behavior generates stress 24/7.

    It is comparable to a PTSD - in case you are in recovery and not in addiction mode (then you are still in a traumatic state).

    He told me I should consult a psychiatrist to deal with this.
    I'd like to bypass this somehow... but if things don't get better I will have to go to one...
     
  12. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Wow, your doctor is super cool...I think he's right too. Gary's work focuses on the brain, but most of us know through our experience that PMO addiction causes real physical symptoms within the body. (Not that Gary would probably refute that.)

    It's chronic stress related, you don't need a shrink most likely, you just need to do all the things that combat stress, and do them every day. Google has has a wealth of information about it -- herbs, exercise, meditation, yoga, binaural sounds, EFT, qigong, and on and on. You also need socialization.

    Glad to hear it isn't something more serious. You just need to time and clean living.
     
  13. Gonnabeatthis

    Gonnabeatthis New Member

    Yes, I have always read in this forum that you shouldn't stress about your addiction and I always thought - what a BS.

    But it's part of the truth, and the doctors appointment was a bit of an eye opener.
    Stress is not only a thing in your head, it has physical implications, and chronic stress can fuck up the whole balance in your body.

    It feels like a breakthrough that I got this in my head.
    I need to relax - and now I don't just say the words but I understand the meaning behind it as well.

    The biggest obstacle here though is that my job is really stressful right now and that I don't have much leisure time.

    My first vacation this year will be in a month (1 week) and then I have a big one up in September (3 weeks)...

    And another task for me will be to connect arousal with this relaxed state - until now in my life arousal was always connected with stress (getting caught PMOing, finishing fast etc.) so I need to adress that too...
     
  14. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Progressive relaxation techniques should work very well for you.

    http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/relaxation-technique/art-20045368?pg=2

    This link will help you get started, and that reminds me I have to start doing this too. Right now I'm focusing on exercise every day, and I have done that for over 2 months, time to add another good habit.
     
  15. Gonnabeatthis

    Gonnabeatthis New Member

    Somehow since my use of marijuana, I get a chubby as morning wood, and today at work I had a 95% boner!
    I don't know if those events are connected or just coincidence, but I am happy about this!

    Hope the progress stays like this. Btw I had a wet dream this night.

    I will wait until I get diamond cutters so I don't PE, but then I will go for every woman in my city! Haha!
     
  16. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    It's because it's an anti inflammatory, there are other ways to deal with this issue, as I outlined earlier. But, who cares?! You did it!!!
     
  17. Gonnabeatthis

    Gonnabeatthis New Member

    The wet dream stopped my progress as expected, but not too much.

    Had a chubby this morning, but no libido throughout the day.

    Stress release is a big contributor to my recovery. Some people say sex is stress releasing, do you think I should already do it?
     
  18. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    The wet dream didn't stop your progress. Sex, when your brain is rebooted, will not be very stressful, it is only stressful because you have over stimulated your sexual reward circuit.

    I think you are ready for sex or very close to it, it depends on how you feel.
     
  19. Gonnabeatthis

    Gonnabeatthis New Member

    Let me rephrase this: Wet dream delay my progress.

    Today my balls were retracted the whole morning. In the evening it normalized again. I guess this is like a refractory period.
    I will observe if tomorrow morning my balls are retracted again.
     
  20. Gonnabeatthis

    Gonnabeatthis New Member

    Unfortunately I am in a flatline again.

    The day after the WD was okay libido wise, but then it dropped.

    I am not too sad. I saw some progress erection quality wise in the 2-3 days I had libido.
     

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