Need Motivation? Hear Me Out! Short and Sweet

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by GABE, Dec 5, 2013.

  1. GABE

    GABE Porn gave me a limp noodle

    Extended interview I did for Porn On The Brain:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8kJ387-rzg

    Hope it is helpful and insightful. Keep truckin!
     
  2. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex


    Was thinking the same. Also, I used to be very afraid to approach the porn topic with others. Now I just don't give a damn. I will openly, publicly and most importantly privately denounce porn and porn use. Far too many men and especially women have been victims of porn induced damage in one way or another. I will fight any pro-porn nutjobs even if it means with fists. I will spread the word as far as I can.
     
  3. GABE

    GABE Porn gave me a limp noodle

    @ hope2overcome
    Fight them with facts not fists, and use personal experience. Glad to hear you're willing to speak publicly, you never know who needs to hear your story, or the information we know regarding the potential negative effects of internet porn.
     
  4. mikey22

    mikey22 New Member

    GABE you're a hero! thanks for all the great info you provide.
     
  5. GABE

    GABE Porn gave me a limp noodle

    @ dylan22
    Thanks for that encouragement! I'm just a guy who went through a horrible situation that could have potentially been avoided with education when I was younger, and will do all I can to provide what I didn't have to the next generation.

    Hope the best for you. Much Love
     
  6. Skywalker11

    Skywalker11 One day at a time

    Thank you

    I'm on day 31. We might be different. I'm a sex addict. I have watched tons of porn but it generally escalated to more higher risk behaviors (anonymous sex, for example). i'm working a 12 step program and trying to go 90 days without any sex whatsoever. So far I've completed 31 days which is pretty good for me. I don't know if I can possibly go 90 days without a release but... one day at a time right? I've never had a wet dream so I doubt I will experience one during this time. Anyways, I'm told this 90 day abstinence period will help my brain "reboot" but also help provide greater intimacy during sex. I hope I get into a flatline period, that would be nice. i have options to have sex but i'm abstaining for these 90 days. Maybe after 90 days I will reconsider, not sure yet. Casual sex isn't really something I'm looking for. I would like to find a loving committed relationship. No luck yet.

    anyways, i enjoyed your initial posts. They were informative, especially regarding fitness and FWB situations. I think exercise helps because you need all the dopamine you can get, right?

    Congratulations on all your success.
     
  7. GABE

    GABE Porn gave me a limp noodle

    @ Skywalker11
    Congrats on 31 days bro! That is awesome... and yes, if you can go 31, you can go longer, and your body will have a wet dream if it needs to release. I've seen some guys take over 100 days to have their first wet dream, everyone is different. However, wet dreams don't mean anything, so I wouldn't worry about it.

    Yes we're different. I certainly was not a sex addict as I wasn't able to have sex, and my sex drive for my real partners was close to non-existent. Although I did escalate into more extreme versions of porn, and tried to get some of my partners to do what I wired myself to in porn, it ended up not working out once I became so desensitized and rewired nothing would work besides pixels on a screen.

    Yes. Giving your brain some time to regain sensitivity and rewire will hep, but don't get hung up on any certain amount of days. It is good to have a goal in mind for most people, but just know there is absolutely nothing special about "90" days. Everyone will take a different amount of time to recover.

    I think that is a great idea and the best path to pursue. Keep spending time around people and hopefully one day you'll find yourself in that relationship.

    Exercise helps in many ways, and yes it gives your brain a healthy dose of neurochemicals, and intense anaerobic exercise has shown to increase D2 receptors, which may correlate to more motivation.

    Glad you found some of my posts helpful. Thanks for the kind words! Hope the best for you!
     
  8. Skywalker11

    Skywalker11 One day at a time

    thank you

    Appreciate your thoughtful responses. Its kind of cool to have you on here as a resource we can tap. I have definitely found calling friends and venting to be helpful.

    I have woken up the past three days feeling aroused, its very frustrating to have to do something else. I'm on day 38 now and just have to keep taking it one day at a time. I really want to masturbate but my goal is 90 days of abstinence. I know there is nothing special about 90 days but I just want to prove to myself that I can go 90 days without giving my body an orgasm. I'm curious to see what will happen during this time of self-improvement. I'm not even trying to date anyone during this time, I just want to work the 12 steps and stay abstinent from any sex as long as possible.

    Whats the longest you have gone without O? When you did finally have one was it super intense?
     
  9. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Re: thank you

    The longest I've gone was 87 days, and yes it was more intense. I didn't feel any ill effects from not orgasming, only felt more mentally clear.
     
  10. GABE

    GABE Porn gave me a limp noodle

    @ skywalker11
    A little over a 100 days, with some wet dreams here and there throughout. No, my orgasms were not super intense towards the end of my reboot and after I rebooted. I actually forced a couple of orgasms from month 6 to 9 through oral or hand stimulation and they were pretty weak with not a fully hard erection. They got better, more enjoyable, with time.
     
  11. malachi11

    malachi11 New Member

    Gabe you are AMAZING. The work your doing is so important I wish you would get credit for it in some way financially or otherwise. The fact that you do it for free is just... Heroic. Your my hero.

    I'm 16 and Ive been trying to reboot since I was 13 just because it felt so morally wrong to watch porn not even because I knew the side effects. I started watching when I was eleven. When I was fifteen I figured it was becoming a big problem and I needed help so I reached out to my schools therapist and she was the one who first told me about the side effects of porn and gave me tips on how to stop but I never actually stopped.

    just a week ago I decided that what I was doing to stop on my own wasn't working and I figured I could find help the same place I found porn: online. I posted in the under 19 section and somebody told me about you and your videos gave me so much inspiration and just HOPE after I was almost ready to give up. I followed your advice moving my phone charger to the living room and trying to replace my habits with playing more basketball and all that

    I'm not sure I suffer from ED or not because I have never had sex. But regardless I definitely want to stop because I never ever want to reach that point.

    So far it's been a day and a half of no pmo and I know that's nothing but I have so much pent up sexual energy from not having jerked off in 36 hrs. I feel like a need a release. idk I asked and read on the forum and I have received mixed answers about whether it's ok or not to jerk without porn or porn fantasies and just from imagining real girls but I'm not sure about that. For now I am not going to jerk at least until you answer and then I will follow your advice because I think you know what you are talking about and you are an excellent role model.

    Thank you so much on behalf of everybody you have helped for your effort and time it's priceless what you have done.
     
  12. BrainWarrior

    BrainWarrior Member

    Hey Gabe! Inposted this almost everywhere but I'll post this here too because tou are such an ispiration and I hope I will be able to get an advice when you will have a buch of time! This is my story:

    Hey guys! I have literally just signed in!

    I want you to share my history because I need advices about how to behave from now on!

    Let's immediatly set that I am not new to the reboot process and I am very well informed about PIED, I have read tons of stories on this community, watched Gary's and Gabe's videos.
    I am currently approaching day 60 of my first reboot attempt, but I need to explain my background in order to settle things for you.

    I am turning 23 years old in a couple of weeks, I am a straight male and started to gei involved in sexuality around 13 years old.

    I started with masturbation only, through sensations and I remember how scary and amazing my first orgasm was.
    This opened me the doors of sexuality and in a couple of years I dived into calendaries and hot pics. I remember I had rock hard erections simply at the idea of searching for boobs and butts etc. I started to masturbate over this pics and every time O troed to select the most exciting ones. I have always been a very shy guy, Inhad my fosrt crushes on girls at elementary school, but growing up I started to close in myself a little bit amd porn didn't help this at all.

    Then around 14/15 yo I started to approach PMO. I started with vanilla and normal straight, I remember how literally crazy and excited I was to actually look at how a real vagina is and how real sex and penetration and BJ are. I was so wrong.
    Anyway I started with very soft things and then I escalated, ebonies, redhead, incest, asian, bukkake, college, gangbangs, bestiality, hentai, teeny, open air, cameras etc. I also tried a couple of times gay porn but never really went into it. I remember I rocked hard and masturbate over this material tons of time, and when I couldn't open porn, I masturbated in my room every single day, using facebook pics or fantasy. But in my first years of porn even though I was not the typical addicted who watches for hours, I was definitely an addicted, that dopamine rush.... I opned 4/5 videos per session even if the first one was enough to orgasm.

    This was all my teeny sexual life, I sticked tonit because I wss to less confident to approach realmgirls, I remember I tried to find GF during secondary and forst years of high school but without any result, and I am not an ugly guy at all, I was just shy and satisfied woth my pseudo PMO sexual life.

    It went this way until 18/19 years old, and then I hit the breaking point. Porn started to bore me, it was less satisfying, I stopped escalation, and reduced porn sessions without much effort (maybe 2 times per week, sometimes even less), but I kept MOing almost every day through fantasies or pics.
    What I noticed around this time, which was 4/5 years ago is that I started to feel numb, depressed, more than usual, lack of concentration, withdrawls, my dick was dead and shrinken the more time passed and my libido dropped drastically. I felt asexual, I kept looking at girls, want to connect with them and find a GF, because I felt alone and sad and different from the others. But despite all this, I kept masturbating every day and randomly watch porn even though I felt totally not needed. Masturbation became mechanical, like an antistress, I started university and started to feel anxious, and I had OCD.

    Meanwhile I gave my first koss around 20 years old, and despite this numd state I even found a GF last summer. She is my classmate at university but she lives in a different city, so evn if we started texting during summer we only met for the first time last October, three months ago.
    And here shit went down.

    Because I am actually virgin and full of anxiety, even if I was very curios, I still felt scared about getting intimate with her. But being shy I knew I needed time., or at least I thought this way.
    This is not what happened.
    The first time I met her, we were by her at home, and we immediatly started kissing and cuddling, I was scared and shy as fuck. That time I didn't bother about how my erection was. And we didn't even want to have sex so early.
    The second night she brought me in the bed literally and undressed me, I was so scared, but then I start getting more confortable, I gave her oral, but apart from a semi erection at the begininng, I could not mantain it and I didn't feel very aroused.
    The third night was the best one! I felt really horny and I pushed her in the bedroom undressed her and I was rocking hard but anyway we hadn't sex. But that night I defintiely felt comfortable, not anxious at all.
    The other three nights were again loke first two. I touched her breasts, her butt, I gave her oral but I lost erection very fast, and my dick was shriken dead. Even if I had a real naked chic over me I was hardly aroused.

    This experience started to male me freak out. Apart from one night I couldn't feel connection and arousal most of the time. I was scared as fuck. Because that was what I dreamed for all my life but it felt really underwhelming in that moment.

    HOCD kicked in, and eventually escalated in a breakup. For the last four months I had strong hocd (now mostly gone) and fear I was gay and scared because I could not get it up.
    Then I ran into YBOP and Gary's theories and felt relief. In december I started my reboot and now I am two months in.

    About my reboot:

    - I hit the flatline at day 1, but I felt I was in one even before the reboot. And I am still stucked in it.

    - i had string libido around day 19, 32 and 48. I started to have random wet dreams around day 22 (I didn't remember the last time I had one), and morning wood back at the end of the first month, but it was very unstable and sometime not full blown.

    - Now I am on day 58. I feel like I am still flatlining. No libido most of the time, no interest in anything sexual and girls, I lost morning wood again most of the times. It seems this flatline is non ending, I feel always tired and brainfog (but this actually was my state for the last 4 years).

    What bothers me:

    - I fear improvments won't come since I am in this state for years (withdrawls eventually worsened once I started reboot and flatline is now really massive). I feel asexual and I fear it is not PIED anymore.

    - most of the time I absolutely feel zero urges and desire to relapse. I tried to start hardmode many times, but I can't actually, avoid P subs (mostly Facebook and whatsapp), even though they don't trigger me that much, avoid fantasies (sometimes, especially in the morning, I start to fantasize and get semi hard, then I block it and fall again into a flatline). Eveything seems pretty stucked, blocked and unstable and this asexual feeling and the lack of consistent progresses are scaring me as f***!

    Sorry for the long post, I hope someone will be brave enough to read and comment because right now I feel hopeless.

    I usually read Gabe's stories and I wish one day I will be able tonhave a normal relationship and a normal sexual life.

    Any advice is appreciated, maybe even Gary's and Gabe's if they could.

    Thank you to everyone!
     
  13. TheFightInUs

    TheFightInUs New Member

    Hey Gabe,

    I was just wondering if during your reboot you (or anyone else for that matter) ever experienced that anxiety feeling in the pit of your stomach seemingly for no reason?

    Often I feel some anxiety just worrying about whether or not I will recover throughout the day, but sometimes it seems like I get that uncomfortable butterfly feeling almost for no reason at all... Could this maybe have something to do with the brain changes that have to heal from porn addiction? Like increased cortisol levels due to the dopamine imbalance or something?

    Cheers.
     
  14. jdKush

    jdKush New Member

    hi there Gabe

    Thanks for sharing your Story, it really helps me getting over this addiction.

    Short question: I have stopped watching porn now for 70 days. I notice some flatlining but its okay, i know its normal.
    However there is some symptom which i didnt find on YBOP.com. My penis has reduced its size and feels very small. Sometimes its even hard
    to piss... I think ive read this somewhere before, but i cant find it, ive searched everywhere but nothings showing up... ^^

    Thanks for your time and wish you all the best

    jdKush
     
  15. jjveetec

    jjveetec Well-Known Member

    it's normal and will pass
     
  16. niskanen91

    niskanen91 Active Member

    GABE, what's your opinion on this:

    1) Getting morning woods
    2) Can easily masturbate myself
    3) Only using femdom porn/fantasies (since always, never escalated or moved to other genres)
    4) Zero arousal/interest in vanilla sex
    5) Getting hard at the prospect of meeting domme (never managed to do it though)
    6) Zero excitement when meeting non-dominant chick
    7) Can't get hard to other person

    Sexual masochism or porn induced ED?

    btw. your story is really impressive <3
     
  17. jjveetec

    jjveetec Well-Known Member

    I know I'm no Gabe - but I have a lot of exprience with what you write here... Feel free to ignore me, as this question was addressed to Gabe, not me....
    But
    If you don't mind me asking:
    1/ how old are you?
    2/ did you have vanilla sex and THEN escalated into porn and femdom porn?
    3/ did you manage to quit porn for longer? At least 2-3 weeks no porn/masturbation?

    I'm asking because in my case I simply escalated from "normal" sex into femdom porn... and after some time couldn't get really aroused by a real person.
    But when I quit porn and masturbtaion and fantasy for a few weeks, my attraction to women begun to return.

    So my advise = go through NoA (no arousal method) described here:
    http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=14525.0

    and see what happens after few weeks (in my case my attraction to real women begun to return after 2-3 weeks)
     
  18. niskanen91

    niskanen91 Active Member

    Any help is appreciated, doesnt matter if youre not Gabe. I've already started my reboot, I realize it involves no fantasizing :p

    Answers to your questions:
    1) Almost 25.
    2) No, it was femdom porn even before my first orgasm. Basically started with fetish/femdom porn.
    3) Yes, managed to do it for like 4-5 weeks few times. Still, nothing changed.
     
  19. jjveetec

    jjveetec Well-Known Member

    Everybody is different - as you can see by accounts of many people around here. But for "hard-cases" it seems like NoA (no arousal protocol: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=14525.0) might be the best way to go.
    So some questions could be:
    - did you abstain from masturbation?
    - did you stay out of edging?
    - did you stay out of fantasy (eliminating it everytime it popped up? (there are thechniques to do this))
    Looks like you conditioned yourself to femdom early, so unwiring it will take more time than 4-5 weeks - in this time you might not even hit the "flatline". I'd suggest going minimum of 90 days... but probably more: half a year or a year)
    I know some people re-introduce masturbation at some point (but still, I wouldn't do that earlier than past 90 day mark .... if AT LL)

    So usually the answer would be: more strict and longer. At least this is what worked for me last year .... I still wasn't as strict as I wanted (I edged a few times every 2 weeks or so) and as long as I wanted (a little over four months - sixteen weeks!) but results were fantastic.
     
  20. Closeted_jock

    Closeted_jock New Member

    Dear Gabe, thanks for being active on this thread as I'm sure we all need to hear your experience.

    I have no qualms with abstinence and am determined to avoid P/M/O all together for a better sex life.

    However, I have heard that if one doesn't use his tool frequently, it kinda shrinks.

    Hope it's just a myth, but I have came across of cases where some men have their peckers shrink and this is what is stopping me. Just wanna clear the air before I embark on my journey.
     

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