Need Motivation? Hear Me Out! Short and Sweet

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by GABE, Dec 5, 2013.

  1. GABE

    GABE Porn gave me a limp noodle

    @ Marston
    Yes to counting and no to journaling, but I did track important things. When I first found the Medhelp thread with guys talking about porn-induced ED, and YBOP, back in may of 2011, most guys were recovering in 6 to 8 weeks ish. So I thought I'd be good in 2 months. I counted the days, but mainly the weeks. However, I did not write a journal, but I did track everything that happened during my reboot like wet dreams/orgasms, failed attempts at sex, times I used Viagra/Cialis ( ED drugs didn't help me).

    I started rebooting before YBR/NoFap/pornfree/RebootNation existed. Mostly older guys were recovering on Marnia's site Reuniting. As time went by, we started seeing younger guys - like myself - take longer and longer to recover. I spent my whole reboot closely studying the science, rebooting accounts, and following debates on the topic. When I saw a huge need for questions to be answered by a flood of new guys once YBR started, as well as other forums, and a huge need to raise awareness because no one had put a name with a face and publicly said porn gave them erectile dysfunction, I decided to make an account and started to help. I also posted on other health related forums because thousands of teenagers were asking about ED.

    Something most guys don't realize is that the % of rebooters who actually make accounts and post/journal on the porn recovery forums is sadly extremely small. All these sites have far more guests/lurkers than members. Many guys quit once they hear about PIED and never even come to these forums like 3 of my real life buddies. I told them about PIED and they said something like "so that's what's wrong with me..." and then quit and recovered.

    I strongly advise guys to journal and count days if that helps them. I believe it helps most rebooters if they'd give it a shot. One thing is for sure, it helps the reboot movement because by doing so we have more data and stories to gather information from, without guys sharing what happened and what they did during the reboot process we would hardly know anything.

    CrazyGopher made a great series of posts explaining what one needs to know in regards to counting days/keeping a spreadsheet here. Just know that if you count days, don't get some magic number in your head of when you'll be cured because there is no exact day one will reboot and everyone is different.

    Hope that helps. Much Love
     
  2. e7

    e7 New Member

    I can see why counting worked for GABE, he saw the problem, recognized what he had to do, did it and never looked back. This is rare on this forum. Most people have many failed attempts to quit.

    Another thing that helped him that is crucial in his success is he found a replacement, a substitute for his porn use. This is what people have to focus on, improving their lives. It probably was not hard at all to quit for him because life got so much better, it is a blessing to know that you're getting to that other side and work to get there.


    So for most people counting days is not only useless, it is counterproductive. If you have tried counting once, do not ever try it again. What is the purpose? See how far you come this time?
     
  3. Goldybrar

    Goldybrar Member

    Dear gabe,how long were your porn sessions and how frequent were you?
    Thanks
     
  4. timetochange123

    timetochange123 New Member

    @jjveetec

    What you said makes total sense to me. The more you think about quitting porn, the harder it is because it's always on your mind. I'm still struggling with my reboot and I think it's because of my obsession to quit watching/ get a relationship instead of focusing on the present and being happy. So it might be a good idea for me to get off of this forum for a little while and try to focus on other areas of my life more intensely. I actually just read "The Secret" and I don't care if people think the law of attraction is bullshit because I am kinda a believer. But one point in the book is that the reason diets don't work is because the person is constantly focused on losing weight. If you're constantly focused on losing weight, you will always have excess weight that needs to be lost. But If you focus on being at your ideal weight (your ideal life in regards to porn), then you will attract that to you. Call me crazy but I believe it. It really is true because the only time I'm drawn to porn is when it is on my mind. When I'm focused on other things, there are no urges at all. It's only when I allow those thoughts to enter my mind when it can become hard to abstain. But how are you doing with your process? Best wishes.
     
  5. brocodey

    brocodey New Member

    That is absolutely correct in my mind. You have to know how to use you subconsciousness properly in order to stop with all that shit once and for all.

    You always have to concentrate on the positive outcome you wish to happen, never think of the problem. I am a strong believer in the whole mind over matter thing, it is just that humans don't really know how to concentrate and use their minds at all.

    Part of the problem is that they don't really know how they work. SO I suggest reading some books about the subconscious / unconscious mind first. Yesterday I spotted something that may be quite relevant to this conversation http://yourhealingmind.org/. Seems that it's met with success for the most part.
    ONE MORE PROOF that our mind is a powerful tool!
    GOD BLESS!
     
  6. jjveetec

    jjveetec Well-Known Member

    Thanks mate. And sorry I missed your reply. I'm having fun with the process to be honest. Not a lot of urges/cravings etc t - maybe a few hours tops in 49 days, which is some sort of a success. I don't really check women most of the time (exeptions still happen) - it sunk in eventually and became automatic. I reduced the time I think about women/sex a lot but it's still work in progress. So I'm A-ok.
    How about you buddy? Are you doing ok?
     
  7. GABE

    GABE Porn gave me a limp noodle

    @ Goldy
    Compilation videos on TubeSites are what got me. I watched less than 1 hour a week in college. However, in middle school around age 12/13/14 is when I'd come home from school and watch for a couple hours before my parents got home. I also used porn just bout every masturbation session for 10 years straight. I also had a ratio of probably more than 50 to 1 porn to real sex.
     
  8. Watchcollector

    Watchcollector New Member

    my problem is not the porn anymore.. i stop watching it a long time ago when i figured out i have PIED. i don't miss it, i am 21 and it caused me many break ups and to feel no sexual attraction at all towards many very attractive women i would have killed for as a kid.. i have no problem at all not watching porn and not masturbating BUT i am in a far distance relationship.. since i am not rewiring i feel like no matter how far and long i go i go in circles and it gets me absolutely nowhere which is VERY VERY depressing.. last time i saw her i didn't PMO for 3 months, the sex wasn't even a minute long and sucked.. we tried again later and it was the same and i know the next time i see her again it will suck again... i don't know if i should go with some of the girls that life close by.. its just so sad i have to think that way because if i wouldn't have PIED i would never think of cheating on her but now that thought is with me every day. i don't know what to do anymore i know i won't fap and watch porn but nothing seems to be changing without the physical contact i really crave. it sucks
     
  9. e46_F

    e46_F New Member

    Hi Gabe,

    Please offer some quick tips on rewiring. Obviously we shouldn't orgasm, but is there anything else we should watch out for? How long did the rewiring take you?
     
  10. JG55

    JG55 Member

    This sounds exactly like me. My porn: sex ratio is probably worse tbh.

    Anyway, gotta realize that I started young and this process needs time.

    Thanks Gabe!
     
  11. leannfit

    leannfit New Member

    same with dieting
    if you spend your time around food, thinking about what food you miss, you'll always be hungry
    you have to force your mind to not think about food, whenever food comes up, you have to shut it down
    I made a list of meals and I make those meals and that's it....and I dont think about food and my preset meals are full of all the nutrition a body needs....so i dont need food except for FUN... like porn, you dont need porn except for fun.,...so quit having a little fun now and have a SHIT load of fun later with a real person
     
  12. Hey unstopable Gabe, good to hear you're improving in all directions.
    Look, I have a question:

    Tell us please how is your state of mind at the moment? When do you see women, are you oogling at them or are you just turning your sight away from them?

    I'm in a horny phase these days and every thing I see related to women just give me a strong horny sensation. Is that bad for rebooting? Or simply should I start approaching to them, or ignore them.
     
  13. GABE

    GABE Porn gave me a limp noodle

    • @ Temple_of_peace
      My state of mind at the moment is clear, motivated, and joyful. This past weekend I spoke at a youth conference alongside some professional athletes and I had 7 teenage boys come up to me and say they are done with porn now, so that's good. I thought I could have done a better job with my presentation. I am my biggest critique, and always want to better myself now. So I am motivated to improve my talking points, and continue to learn what I need to about porn's potential negative effects in order to be useful voice for our movement.

      My state of mind is good. I'm actually reading at Starbucks at the moment, thinking about/trying to decide what my next Reboot Nation YouTube video will be.

      Neither usually. I'd be lying if I say I never stare and check some bodies out, but most of the time I just acknowledge beauty and think to myself how beautiful a woman is. My thoughts have become less porn-like, to the point where porn related thoughts hardly cross my mind. Not perfect though... no man is. The longer we go without objectifying people, the easier it gets to see people's emotions, and personalities, not just bodies.

      Feeling those sensations is normal. No they are not bad for rebooting. Yes, I would use that drive to talk to, hang around, interact with real people. My advice is always to pursue a loving partner, and stay away from using someone for rewiring. We crave love and intimacy and human connection. Go after it if you desire.

      @ e46_F

      There's a few things I did when I was rewiring.

      [list type=decimal]
    • Avoid having too many orgasms, or having an orgasm early on in the reboot.
    • Focus on touching, kissing, breathing slowly, being passionate, feeling the emotion. This is totally different from when I would have porn style sex and just start going to town ramming my dick into my partner like they were a object for my pleasure. Rewiring is a great chance to teach your body how to "feel" and become aroused differently.
    • Avoid anything that specifically reminds you of porn. There might be certain positions that make you think about certain porn scenes, or certain things your partner does that might make you think about porn scenes. Try and avoid those for a period of time so your brain can focus on your partner alone and not wonder into porn memories. Obviously this won't be perfect, but I'm sure everyone has a few things they specifically picked up from porn that would be beneficial to avoid. For example, I avoid cumming on my partners face these days, and anal sex. Things I didn't desire before I heavily got into porn.

    The main thing is to teach your body how to become aroused differently, without the need for porn scripts, novelty, and pixels on a screen. This will lead to greater connection with your partner both physically and mentally.

    Hope that helps. Much Love[/list]
     
  14. Do some video about rewiring :D or about flatlining :D

    Thank you for your useful answers man.
     
  15. Arzack

    Arzack New Member

    Hey Gabe, I just wanted to thank you for making those youtube videos, they are a lot better than Gary's ones imho. I was stuck in a wrong "watch porn but don't fap too often" idea before watching them.
     
  16. grayfoxxx

    grayfoxxx My English is worse than my ED.

    HYPE!!
    I really need a new video of yours!
    Thanks for helping us, Gabe
     
  17. daone

    daone Where I'm gonna be ought to be uncharted

    Any tips on how to get through the first week? Im having massive struggles on day 3 and its a vicious cycle
     
  18. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Exercise and don't be alone as much as possible. K9 blockers for all computers and give the password to someone for safe keeping. No or low alcohol and caffeine, you can ease up on this after 2 months sober.
     
  19. whitespider

    whitespider New Member

    I can't shake the feeling my is vascular. Or some kind of body issue, being overwieght and smoking moderately for a damn while has made me feel like i'm incurable. This porn thing continues to feel like a long shot.
     
  20. jjveetec

    jjveetec Well-Known Member

    Clean your place.
    Read "the slight edge" by Jeff Olson
    do what he says.....
     

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